Imagine you’re dating someone perfect. You really like the person, they really like you. You too get along great, you have a lot of fun together and everything is basically amazing – except for the fact that parents are getting in the way. What would you do if your boyfriend’s mom didn’t want you two together?
That’s happening to someone right now, and when I saw her story in our message boards, I knew I had to share it. It totally stinks when your boyfriend’s mom tries to get in the middle of your relationship. So how is this girl supposed to deal? Read her story, see what some girls had to say and then let us in on your own advice.
My boyfriend (who happens to be the love of my life) and I have been together for almost a year. We started out like any typical couple would, learning about each other and our lives. We found out we had a lot in common and we seemed great for each other. About a month into our relationship, I met his parents and they approved. He was happy, his grades improved. Then he found out that I used to be depressed/slightly suicidal and wanted me to promise him that I would never be again.
I sent him a message on Facebook explaining that I take the bad things that happen in my life to heart. But I also told him that it would most likely never happen as long as I had him and my friends. Well, a few weeks later, his mom decided she could dig through his Facebook. She found the message and demanded he dump me. Of course, that didn’t happen.
We hid our relationship after that since she had teachers watching us. When she found out we didn’t break up she forced him to call me and dump me (which was obviously not real). She just recently found out we’re still together and said I’m never to text him again or she’ll put a restraining order on me. This is really starting to wear on our relationship. I’m so sick and tired of hiding and hurting. I cry myself to sleep sometimes. I want to marry this boy, he’s perfect for me. But I’m scared she’ll never give up. Any advice?
Maybe you and your boyfriend should sit down with his mom and talk out the situation. Clearly, she’s going through quite a lot right now so she’s probably having trouble dealing with stressful situations, especially something that she worries will hurt someone she loves. But if you get the chance to explain to her that you feel secure in your life right now and have no intention of hurting her son, you may be able to work something out. Talking to her face to face may also give her a chance to get to know you and remember why she liked you before. You could also consider talking to your own parents about it, if you feel like having them to help you talk to her will help.
How old is your BF? That is absolutely ridiculous of his mother to do, and reading his texts and Facebook is such an invasion of privacy. Why doesn’t he put a password on his phone and change his password to his Facebook/make a whole new account? His mother is looking for any reason to dislike you and she has no justifiable one at all. If he can, I would really suggest your boyfriend move out.
My advice? Try talking to his mom calmly before you suggest your boyfriend rebel any further. Explain to her how much you love her son and you don’t want to hurt him. Let her know how much her approval would mean to you. Maybe agree to set some boundaries at first to ease her mind. Try to compromise without totally sacrificing your relationship and see if she’ll give you a chance.
As for the fact that she went through your BF’s stuff – that’s definitely not right. But that’s something he needs to settle with his mom on his own. You can suggest they talk but don’t force him into a fight with her. That will only push her away from you more.
What’s your advice for dealing with a parent like this? Have you ever been in this situation? Tell us in the comments!