Putting up holiday decorations can be a lot of fun. You get to spruce up your home decor while spending time with friends and family, dropping hints about holiday gifts, and in most cases, snacking on some yummy treats. In my mind, holiday decorating is kind of the definition of wholesome. However, I recently delved a little into the world of disgusting holiday decorations, and let me just say, I saw some things that I’d like to erase off my brain.
While I guess you could give these gross-factor items as holiday gifts, I would exercise caution. When I look at these holiday decorations and accessories in all their gross and disgusting glory, all I can ask myself is “Why? WHY?!” That said, while I may not want these holiday decorations hanging in my home in these next few weeks, they are worth checking out (and hey, if these all say “Happy Holidays” to you, then by all means, enjoy them as part of your holiday celebration!). Let me give you the gift of these 13 icky, gross holiday-themed items, and may you not be scarred during this time of holiday joy.
Santa Barf AppWhy would I want to make poor Santa throw up? If the man can fly around the globe in a night, I have to think he has some kind of effective digestion plan for all that cookie eating. You download the free app, you shake your phone and Santa spews green vomit. Against my better judgment, I even downloaded this to get this appetizing screen shot, so yeah, you're welcome. Source: Santa Barf App
Santa And Reindeer Candy PoopersI'd seen the pooping reindeers before which have always grossed me out, but never the pooping Santa. I mean, it's all still gross because you are eating candy that is being compared to excrement (hilarious!), but I just think there's something particularly scarring about the man in the red suit doing this. Needless to say, I would never eat from one of these. Source: OffBeatTreats.com
Reindeer Poop Lip BalmI pity the poor unsuspecting family members who get a kiss on the cheek when I am wearing this. Just the idea of wearing something related to poop around my mouth really skeeves me. Apparently though, the flavor of "reindeer poop" is actually chocolate and peppermint which sounds amazing. I just don't think I could apply this in public without getting some weird looks. Source: Etsy
Pooping Moose Holiday SweaterI have received a number of sweaters I wasn't super into over the years, but I can luckily say I never received this. Can you imagine showing up to Grandma's in this get-up? I know it's a natural part of life and all, but I do not feel like it needs to be emblazoned on an article of my clothing. Source: Stupid.com
Unsavory Holiday CardsThere's plenty of less than wholesome holiday cards floating around the Internet. Take this one in particular. Not only would my mom not know where to put this among her holiday display of cards, she would probably faint if someone actually sent her that. And like seriously, when did number two become the go-to holiday reference?? Source: Etsy
Santa Toilet PaperSee what I mean! Actually, while this by itself isn't too gross, when you remind yourself of the purpose of toilet paper, it becomes a little unsettling to have all those Santas on it. In any case, I pretty much draw the holiday bathroom decorations at evergreen scented hand soap. Source: Fosfor Gadgets
Gingerdead Men Cookie CutterOkay, so the product name is kind of a clever pun. This isn't so much gross as much as it is kind of sad. I mean, yeah I guess I'm going to eat the gingerbread men, but thinking about them as having creepy little skeletons is a little on the morbid side. Source: Think Geek
Baby Head Tree TopperGranted, from what I can tell, it's not like this is being mass produced, but it is still highly unsettling. I also have a childhood doll with a very similar-looking head so this feels particularly upsetting. I mean, the lights in the eye sockets!! Yikes. Source: Pintrest
Zombie Santa OrnamentHanging ornaments was always a happy family affair for me. I can't imagine that a zombie Santa complete with rotting flesh and some kind of toxic mouth spew really fits in with those happy memories. Source: Etsy
Bloody OrnamentsI know red is a color associated with Christmas, but who knew there was such a holiday bloody-gore market. These ornaments have the drippy "blood" interior, but also little detached limbs in there as well. Hey, they're definitely creative. I'm just not sure that I want to look at them when snacking on holiday treats. Source: Etsy
Tampon MenorahI'm all for arts and crafts, but would I really want to explain to holiday guests that this menorah is made from tampons (*obviously unused)? No, I probably would not. I mean, tampons are nothing to be ashamed of, but the idea of having to pull the tampon string to "light" the candles on this holiday centerpiece during Hanukkah would be just a little too much for me. Source: TamponCrafts.com
Lady Gaga's Christmas Tree SongI remember first hearing this song. It started as "Yay, a Lady Gaga Christmas song!" and slowly turned into total mortification when I really listened to the lyrics and realized my professor was right nearby. If you thought Christmas trees were spared from the very long list of words with sexual innuendos, well this song will prove to you otherwise. Source: C.Smith/ WENN.com
White Chocolate Peppermint PringlesFull disclosure: I have yet to try these. Maybe I would love them. But when I saw that these existed I was hesitant, and then I also read this excerpt from a review from GrubGrade.com: "Imagine eating a handful of kettle corn along with some toothpaste, and that’s what these chips tasted like." I love a peppermint-themed holiday food, however I may skip these ones. Source:GrubGrade.com
Do you own any gross holiday decorations? Would you want these are part of your holiday celebration? Would you give any of these items as holiday gifts? Let us know in the comments!