From The Message Boards: How Do I Know If It’s Time To Break Up With My Boyfriend?

Ending a relationship is extremely difficult, especially when they’re long-term. It can be really hard to know when it’s time to end things, because not only do you not really want that chapter of your life to be over, but also because after a while, it can be easier to stay in a bad relationship than to venture out on your own.

Since a lot of girls deal with this on a daily basis, I was happy to see it being discussed in our message boards. One girl is having a problem where she thinks it’s time to break up with her boyfriend, but she isn’t sure. How do you know when it’s time to break up? Read what these ladies had to say and then tell us your advice or stories in the comments.

mz.hyde said:
I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. I love him with all that I have, but I don’t feel it on his end. Honestly, if I had to pick a song to describe how I feel it would be “Do I” by Luke Bryan. We don’t cuddle when we go to sleep anymore, our sex is not passionate anymore, and I feel like he’s ignoring me half the time. I have talked to him a MILLION times so please don’t tell me “oh just talk to him” because IT DOESN’T WORK! I don’t know what to do, I’m not happy. And if I do have to end it how would I? This is my longest relationship and I’m scared. I mean what if he is the one?

flamingoccm said:
This might sound weird – but you’re saying you talk TO him, but have you ever really talked WITH him ? My guess is probably not. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and if he’s not willing to talk about those things, it’s not going to work. It’s kind of like the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

If you’re not happy, do you really want to stay? You don’t HAVE to end it. It’s a choice, not an obligation. And what if he is the one? He could be. That’s totally possible. But do you seriously think you’re destined to spend the rest of your life with some guy who doesn’t love you back anymore? Or couldn’t be bothered to try to fix the problems?

MariBear said:
If you are feeling unfulfilled in your relationship and you have tried sitting down and talking with him, I’d say it’s probably time to move on. A relationship takes two people. It’s supposed to be a partnership where two people who care for each other work together. But when one person starts caring more than the other, then it’ll never work.

What both of these girls said is true – a relationship is a two-way street, and if only one person is doing the work, things are never going to be okay or fair. Remember ladies, you have a right to be happy in a relationship – in fact, you should always be happy in your relationship. If you feel like you’re not getting what you deserve, you probably aren’t.

That doesn’t mean you have to run out and dump a guy the second he makes you feel unfulfilled. Talk to him about exactly how you feel and let him know you’re thinking about ending things. That might put things in perspective for him, because maybe he doesn’t exactly realize what’s going on. But if you’ve attempted that talk a few times and nothing has come of it, then I’d say it’s time to end things.

What do you think about this girl’s problem? What advice would you give her? Have you ever been in this situation? Tell us in the comments!

 

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2 Comments

  1. avatar Anzari Nurulia says:

    You’re dating him cuz you love him right? So if you feel nothing then it means that you have to end it! If you still love him, try other way. Ask ur best friend to talk with him and ask what happen. If he cheated on you, just dump him. But if he doesn’t, just do something that can make he pays more attention to you. Give him a little surprise to make he realize that you still love him then he would say ”I love you too”

  2. avatar Jnutty29 says:

    At the end of the day you need to focus on what you want out of the relationship. Both of you have to give and take order to keep it healthy. If something lacking in those areas then houston we have a problem!!!! If the person you with isn’t expressing any love for you the way they should, then you should think about spliting up. Now this doesn’t mean you can’t be friend with him, but ya’ll may not ment to be in a relationship together. Like beyonce said “it can feel so right but be so wrong” or however she said it. Just keep in that you have to be happy and satisfied in the relationship also.

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