Confession: I Was Kind Of, Sort Of, A Band Groupie

When I heard that the band The Cab (an awesome band that is definitely worth checking out if you haven’t heard of them!) recently released a brand new music video featuring one of my favorite young stars Hailee Steinfeld, I felt a a little proud seeing them accomplish something so huge. Why? It’s not like I’m their mom or their girlfriend or even their friend – then that proud feeling would make sense. No, it’s because when they were much smaller and less well-known, I got the chance to hang out with them.

Guys, here’s a confession: I used to kind of, sort of be a band groupie. And by saying I was kind of a band groupie I mean I just wanted to be one. There was a period of my life in college where nothing made me happier than going to a good show – screaming, sweaty fans, band dudes in tight pants and messy hair and waiting outside for hours just to get a glimpse of them all seemed awesome to me.

I started hanging out with a friend named J. She was sort of friends with Gabe Saporta, the lead singer of the band Cobra Starship, and had even appeared in their music video for “Good Girls Go Bad.” J was a legit band groupie and so she had connections. She was obviously kind of my idol. I started wearing beanies and lots of bracelets and indie girl clothes and following her around whenever she invited me to shows.  Except J’s connections weren’t so legit – she’s pretty and had the ability to flirt with managers, who eventually could sometimes allow us to meet the guys in the band. It wasn’t a foolproof system.

But J did get me into a few cool situations. I spent more than one night hanging out in bars with Gabe Saporta and the rest of the guys (and girl) in Cobra Starship. And by hanging out I mean awkwardly standing near Gabe while girls flocked all over him and J talked up any dude who looked like he was part of the scene. One night after a Cobra show, we followed them to a bar near my house. I was excited at first, but after a few hours spent standing next to Gabe as he nonstop texted while girls tried to get his attention (I was never so bold), I got bored. Then a dude from another band hit on me and it was weird, so I went home. My friends were all like, “Why would you leave a bar when you were there hanging with Cobra Starship?” and I was all like, “Guys, you don’t understand the strange life of band groupies.”

Gabe Saporta

Gabe, one of my friends and myself at the VMA’s.

Remember when the MTV VMA’s were held in New York City in 2009 (that fateful year Kanye West stole Taylor Swift’s spotlight)? Well, Cobra Starship was performing and their grand entrance was to show up in an NYC double-decker tour bus filled with fans (all friends of the band in someway) cheering for them. J got me and another friend on the bus. It was cool – we got up close looks at the celebrities entering the show and Gabe gave us sunglasses and prizes while he sat and chatted with us. Gabe is actually a really cool guy when he’s not texting, which is a lot of the time.

Another time, J and I went to a Taking Back Sunday show (TBS has been my favorite band for 10 years now and I’m a little obsessed with them). After the show, she waited outside the venue with me until 1:30 in the morning when the lead singer Adam Lazzara finally stumbled outside to leave. His manager allowed me to say exactly five words to him and after I finished babbling about how much he meant to me, I cried a little bit then called everyone I knew to brag.

When J introduced me to the band The Cab, I loved them immediately because their songs were super catchy and they also were very nice to their fans. After one of their shows, J and I and a few of our friends stayed behind to try to hang out with them. We started talking to their manager and found out they were going on the road that night – but him and the band invited us to meet them in upstate New York at their next show and we could hang after that. And so we drove seven hours to follow them there the next day. Let me repeat that – seven hours.

Me with Alex Marshall from The Cab.

When we got there, we had missed their show but we hung around in the parking lot like creeps and waited for them to come outside. We were like, “OMG what if they don’t remember us?” but they did, and even though they looked sort of surprised that we were actually there (because who actually does this stuff? Oh, right, me), they told us to follow them to their hotel room. And so we did, and we all hung out all night until we passed out at 5:30 in the morning. Nothing weird happened guys, I swear (I’m not that kind of wanna-be band groupie, okay?). It was just like a group of friends hanging out, talking, laughing and having a good time.

After that, I pretty much wanted to hang out with every band ever because I thought they might all be as cool as the guys from The Cab, but that didn’t happen. While all of that stuff above was cool, and while I got to meet other band dudes also, trying to be a groupie got old fast. Honestly, I felt a little pathetic after a while. That whole scene was full of both girls and guys constantly trying their hardest to hang out with a band they loved. They all tried to one up each other by acting like it was no biggie, when it was totally obvious they were loving every second of it. Once I got excited about meeting Trace Cyrus (I know. I KNOW. You don’t need to tell me that is ridiculous), and these other girls stared at me like I was a disgusting cockroach on the floor. I mean, how can I live in a world where I can’t be excited about things?

In the end, I decided that I liked sleep (being a band groupie is time consuming, guys) and real people a lot better than band guys who tend to forget about you the next day because they’re constantly surrounded by girls just like you. Sometimes I still bring up my story about hanging with The Cab (because, I mean, it was pretty cool), but most of the time I just like to laugh at myself for trying to be someone I’m not. It was fun while it lasted and I’m not trashing anyone who does it, but I guess it’s just not my thing.

Have you ever been sort of a band groupie? What’s your favorite band? Did you ever get to meet anyone in a band? Do you listen to The Cab, Cobra Starship or Taking Back Sunday? Which band would you love to hang out with? Tell me in the comments!


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  • Daisy

    I met the lead singer from Lostalone once, it was pretty easy because they were supporting at one of my favourite venues so they came down into the crowd after their set.

    He was so lovely to me and my friend we talked about the UK petrol crisis we were having then and news. Its weird how they really are normal guys.

  • starryphoenix

    My brother has a career in concert stage lighting so yeah you could say I have connections but uh….not really lol.
    He went on tour with Dr. Dog and ran lights on a national tour. He lived on their tour bus. When the tour came to Washington, DC a mere 2 hour drive our whole family got VIP guest list admission and backstage access. me and my parents met Dr. Dog on their tour bus before the show. We also got to hang out backstage and my bro introduced me to several roadies.
    I personally am pursuing a career in concert production, however I’m more in the club scene with DJs and I have met several artists on the national level through that.

  • Joanna

    Haha I’m kinda a band groupie. I love going to concerts. I recently went to 2 concerts in two weeks and met both of the bands. One I bought VIP tickets so I knew I was gonna meet them but the other was an opening band so after their set they went to their merch table and I got a pic with them. As cool as it is that I met these people that I love, I can’t help but to realize that they’re just normal people. Since they are the first real (slightly) famous I’ve met, I used to idolize them. But they’re really not that different than me. Oh well, I still love meeting bands and I’m gonna try to do that a lot more in the future 😉 Not to total band groupie level, but just a bit more than I am now.

  • Sierra

    That’s so funny! One of my really good guy friends a few years back was first cousins with the lead dude. He’d just moved from Vegas. He introduced me to the music!(although not actually the band, bummer) I love The Cab! Plus I had a crush on my friend. That may have helped.

  • Violet_Rain

    Well, I did once get chance to briefly hang out with the lead singer of Iron Maiden, and we talked about planes and astrophysics and stuff. Judging by the kind of conversation we had I’m pretty sure he’d actually remember it, but I do wish I’d managed to keep more of a level head and not gush so much with excitement. Still, he was pretty understanding and a really great guy. Definitely lived up to my expectations, considering I’d idolised him for five years and have never been more simultaneously nervous and excited about something in my entire life.

    Other bands though, I can’t say I’m much of a groupie in any sense. Even with the ones whose music I like best, I probably wouldn’t hang round until the early hours of the morning for a chance to meet them. Actors are another matter. I’m the kind of person who’d go to Comic-Con and hang round in the hotel bar desperate to see if any actors from my favourite shows are there, and then if they were I’d spend ages trying to get the guts to go talk to them, although doubtless plenty of other people would do the same.