One of my friends started bullying this other girl online and at school. We’ve been going to school with that girl for years, but it’s like all of the sudden, my friend hates her. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to rat my friend out, but what she’s doing is mean. She’s my best friend! Help me.
This is definitely a tough situation – you’re stuck between being loyal to your best friend and doing the right thing. I’m not sure why your friend is bullying this girl, but I do know that she shouldn’t be. Bullying stinks, and no one deserves to deal with it. You might not be able to stop her actions, but you can do something to stand up for the girl she’s picking on.
The first thing you should do here is talk to your friend. Don’t attack her or start a fight with her. Gently ask her what’s wrong. A lot of the time when someone becomes a bully, it’s because something bad is going on in their own lives and they’re looking for someone to take their anger out on. Maybe she’s having issues at home or at school or with other friends. Or maybe she’s having self-esteem issues. There’s also the possibility that she has some kind of personal problem with this girl. Maybe she’s jealous of something, or angry at her for something she didn’t tell you about.
Try to get to the bottom of the issue by reminding her that you care about her and you can tell there’s something going on. If she refuses to talk about it or insists that there’s nothing wrong in her life, tell her you don’t understand why she’s picking on her, and it’s making you upset to see her act like such a bully. Again, don’t get too angry with her, that will only make her defensive.
If your BFF totally blows you off and the bullying continues after your talk, then start sticking up for this girl on your own. It takes guts to go against your friends, but in situations like these, it’s worth it. It’s time to go to a parent or teacher. I know you don’t want to get your friend in trouble, but like I said, bullying is serious. Your friend may need to talk to a professional about what’s going on in order to stop her teasing. In the end, you’ll feel much better knowing that you did the right thing here.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at email@example.com