Do Guys Really Want To Have Sex On The First Date?

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Guess which half of this couple wants to have sex on the first date! | Source: ShutterStock

You’re probably sued to hearing that a lot of guys want sex on the first date–but that it’s also a bad idea to go through with it if you want a full-fledged relationship, right? (What a conundrum!) Turns out, it’s not just guys who want to hit the hay on a first date. In fact, a lot of us girls may be more likely to want to bed a guy on the first date, according to a new study. Really!

New research says that about half of guys are actually turned off when a girl wants to bone after only going out once, whereas only 39 percent of girls feel the same.

One of the researchers was just as surprised as a lot of us were by the news. “To see men considering the want for first date intimacy a bigger turn-off than women was somewhat surprising … stereotype would have us believe otherwise, men are clearly the more prudish of the two sexes!”

Now, this doesn’t mean your date doesn’t want to have sex with you eventually. Because if he asked you out, guess what? He does. But if you offer it all right away, he may be confused about your intentions and what you want. Also, it’s important to note what the researcher said: Stereotype says that guys are hornier and more likely to want sex on the first date than we are, right? So that probably skewed the results a bit, too. If a guy wants sex from us on the first date, we may not mind as much–even if we don’t give in–because we may sort of see it as, “Oh, boys will be boys!”

Unfortunately, the flip side of that? Since guys are used to assuming we may not necessarily want to get laid on a first date, it might freak them out if and when we do–because they’re not used to it, and they’re accustomed to girls declining, so they may make false assumptions about your character. It’s that whole slut-shaming double standard. It’s unfortunate, but it’s real–at least until people wise up.

How to deal? If you’re looking for more than a one-night stand and you really like a guy, you may be better off holding out on having sex with him on the first date. If he’s worth your time, he’ll be glad to wait til date two at least–and the better you know, like, and trust each other, you’ll have better sex anyway!

Have you ever had sex on the first date? Has a guy ever pressured you to go farther than you’re comfortable with on the first date? Have you ever wanted sex on the first date but your guy wasn’t into it? Tell us in the comments!

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  • amaya

    I am 17 and have dated a few guys ever since I was 13. As far as I am concerned I know that guys would love to have sex on the first date, if allowed to. I am under no false illusions about this. I expect this when I date, not that I agree but I think it is a normal thing for a guy to want to have sex. Why do we think that he shouldnt beats me and to make such a virtue of it is even more crazy. When this is expected guys become more devious and pretend to be very good and saintly and this is really creepy when a guy tries to be the perfect guy any mom would like for her daughter. This is so pretentious and false.
    I think the practical approach would be to expect that a guy will want to do it as soon as he can. When you expect it you then can prevent disappointment and probably prepare yourself just in case you agree to having sex too.
    I think as girls we all have a false expectation and we then get disappointed.

    Sex is normal. To want to have sex is even more normal. This has nothing to do with respect. Girls can say NO if they dont want to but do not judge a guy for wanting to have sex, and, if a guy does not ask for sex dont be gullible to think he is a saint.

    • oluchi

      yes tht happenes a lot. Guys ask or want to have sex but it is up to the girls if they want to do it or not. Just becoz the guys wants it dont make him a bad guy. He wants to do it becoz he likes you and is attracted to you.
      I thnk gurls wud do it too if they werent so scared and becoz of pregnancy and stuff. I dont think that guys are bad if they wanna have sex.

  • Aaliyah luvs Rob

    ummm yeah I was 13 and I think I liked him and didnt want to lose him. He is 7 years older and at that time I felt like it was pressure. Looking back now I dont think it was a big deal. I think being 15 now and with more experience it seems like it was silly to think it was pressure. I am still with him and I know he loves me. We still have a lot of sex and many times I start the whole thing.
    I feel the pressure thing is more our own anxiety and nothing to do with him wanting to do it. Like it is all new and stuff and we get scared and worried about plenty of silly things like what he will think of our body or will he think I suck at doing stuff. Silly thngs like that.
    To me I now believe that sex is so normal and we just make a big deal of nothing.

    • leila

      yes I thnk thts wat happens a lot. There are so many bad things that girls say about your first time and because we are scared we feel it is pressure from the guy.
      if you just relax and dont get too stressed abt it then all that pressure goes away.
      I lost it at your age too. I was all alone with him and he kept wanting to do it. It was real awkward. It was my very first time being with him and then he showed me porn. He started kissin me and then started going down on me. At this stage I lost all control and before I knew it he was inside of me. It kept happenin a lot after that. Like for 6 months I would go to his place regularly. Looking back I dont know why I was so fussed but I guess I was very young then.

  • honey bunny

    Yes my guy wanted to have sex as soon as we met. I was a lot younger and it did happen because I knew no better. We continued for 2 years like that.
    I think all guys want to have sex, even if it is the first date. Then there are the ones who pretend not to want and will make some girls believe thet they will wait.
    I dont think wanting to have sex is anything to do with respect. It is just instinct emerging. Go for it if you want to. Dont if you dont. Nothing right or wrong about doing it. Dont make a big deal about it.

  • Jezabel

    Yes all guys will want to have sex on the first date. There will be those who pretend to be noble and “nice” wanting to prove to the girl that they are not going to force her. This is exactly the “will you walk into my parlour said the spider to the fly” types who will do things to build the confidence in a girl who in turn stupidly believe the “nice” guy.

    I am not syaing there is any harm in the guy wanting to have sex on the first date. I am saying, as a rule all guys do. NO EXCEPTIONS. If they do then they are trying to fool you.

    The important thing is whether you are prepared to agree to have sex if you like the guy.

    To me te important reason not to have sex on the first date is because you dont know the guy’s sexual history. NOTHING ELSE. You dont want to sleep with some STD ridden creep. You cannot get rid of herpes and Chlamydia may be silently present and may not be symptomatic. There are other things like Trichomonas, Syphillis, gonorrhoea etc etc.

  • AngelicBaby

    My bf did. I had just met him and I was too young and too stunned to know anything else. I went with the flow, though hugely embarrassed, anxious, self conscious and nervous.It felt good yet I felt really scard not knowing what might happen and what trouble I was going to get into. It was hours later that i relaised I had lost my virginity. I was confused. I wanted to talk to him but I dare not call but he was so decent he called up and chatted to me for a long time. My friends took me to his place the next day again. It was obvious to them what had happened. He took me to his room and we did it several times again. I was extremely self conscious when he went down on me. Later when I went to the toilet for a wash my friends were like “wooohooo, shes walking funny, woohoo must have been good. Did you experience his exploring tongue, did he flick your bean with his tongue?” They kept giggling all the time, saying stuff.
    I am still with the same guy and we have a great relationship. I know my first time came as a shock but it all worked out well.
    Yes some guys do want to have sex on the first date. Is it wrong? I dont know. It is up to you to decide.

  • Mercy

    I went out with a guy. He is really cool and really likes him. We had a nice dinner and wanted me to stop by at his place .I went and we connected everything feels so right. But he wanted to have sex and I turn it down and left.he hasn’t call me after that.

  • cuteLilBabyGurl

    I am sure all guys do. Many dont show it because they want to make the girls believe that thts not the first thing on their mind. Of course all guys want to do it!

  • honeybee

    Yes without doubt. So what?? It is called the “mating ritual”
    We are all animals and whether you like it or not, sex is not just on the guys mind but there is also a strong desire to mate ! Why do we all get so uptight about that? Just accept it. Deal with it, if you think thats what your guy wants. Do it or delay it. But dont go making a vice of it. It is a normal desire and quite okay for a guy to want to “mate” with someone he finds desirable.
    Just chill guys. Phew!!!!

  • Reiningcowgirl54

    I started dating two years after my husbands death. He was the only man I have been with. Sharing myself must be very special the second time. One man I dated tried but stopped when I said let’s have a time out. We would kiss more and we would have another timeout.
    Two other men I went out not only wanted sex on the first date. Plus both used lots of sexual talk that was quite vulgar for a first date.
    I want to find my special person before I agree to intimacy. Call me old fashion, but when I give myself, feelings, and emotions go along with this. Someone tell me what in the hell is going on? What should I do?

    • Hayley

      MOM! WTH are you doing on here?

      UGGGG no one wants to hear about your “special person” or “intimacy” that is just disgusting!

      What you need to do is shave your muff, buy a thong, and go get back with Dad. You are so old and nasty no one else would want you!

  • LoveMaking Tips

    When both of you slip into bed, talk naughty with your man. You don’t even need to touch him to play foreplay. Just sit close to him and whisper about the first time he touched you or played with your breasts. Or remind him about the way both of you felt when you first had sex together.Talking sexy has a great impact on a man’s little organ. It creates a sexy world of imagination with limitless possibilities that can lead to a sexy rush even before he gets inside you.

  • Deanna

    If you and your partner are as great together as you want to be– guess what? It’s not going to matter if you have sex on the first date, or not! If you do and he’s turned off… then you’re better off without him. If it feels right, do it. If not, hold off. Seriously, follow your heart. Don’t play games.

  • :P

    “Now, this doesn’t mean your date doesn’t want to have sex with you eventually. Because if he asked you out, guess what? He does-” Really? Must all relationships be based around the idea of having sex? What if that’s not what they’re looking for, at all?

  • pinkheart

    I hate typos too!

    This may be true. It seems some of my friends who were interested in having sex when they first met a guy they liked ended up not doing it right away because they said they guys werent as interested in the sex as they were.

  • Tayylove96

    In case you guys did not know that “sued” which was suposed to be “used” there is a little typo. Woopsies We all have those moments. It reminds me of a that commercial that was like “it must have been a typo, typo typo. It must of been a typo it can’t be true” Anyone else? No? Ohkie then..