When we’re in a relationship, it can be easy to obsess about the girl who came before us. Thinking about what your boo and his/her ex did together can drive you absolutely crazy, but at the same time it’s really hard to stop! And when we find out something extra scandalous or even sort of icky, it’s understandable to freak out a little bit.
That’s why I can totally relate to what one of our users is saying in the message boards – she found out that her boyfriend has a sex tape with his ex and she doesn’t know how to deal. While I’ve never been in that particular situation, I can understand how it can be hard to deal with something you wish never happened. Read what her and some other girls had to say and then add your thoughts:
I just learned that my boyfriend had a sex video with his past girlfriend. What should I do? This sex video they had was during the time when they were still together. But when I found out about this I felt really bad and it kinda hurts. He doesn’t know that I know. So what should I do? Should I tell him? Should I get mad at him? Or just let it slide, pretend like I don’t know anything at all?
I wouldn’t bring it up, or get mad at him. He hasn’t done anything wrong. I’ve made tons of sex tapes with my boyfriend (granted, nobody beyond my best friend knows about them), and if I ever had a new boyfriend I wouldn’t bring it up because it’s completely irrelevant to everything and would serve no purpose. What’s done is done- he has a sex tape. So what? It doesn’t change who he is, or how good of a boyfriend he is to you. To me, bringing it up wouldn’t do anything besides start a fight over something you shouldn’t be mad at in the first place.
Well I believe in open communication in relationships so if I found out something like that I would bring it up but I wouldn’t get mad about it because well, he had a past before meeting you.
I can understand getting upset over something your boyfriend did in the past, especially if it involves an ex. But at the same time, you really don’t have a right to get mad at him about it. It’s important to realize and accept the fact that your BF had a life before he met you – which means he did things that you might not be too thrilled about. But as long as he did them when you weren’t together, then he didn’t do anything wrong by you.
Getting mad about the past and things you can’t change is never going to help a relationship grow. Personally, I don’t see much of a point in talking to your boyfriend about this. It’s probably only going to start a fight. But if you really want to be open in your relationship, then you need to go into that conversation realizing that your BF did nothing wrong. Don’t focus on his past, because I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate if he focused on yours. All in all, just try not to think about that sex tape. I get that it makes you uncomfortable, but ignore it – he’s with you now!
What would you do if you were in this situation? Would you talk to your BF about it? What should this girl do? Tell us in the comments!