If your boyfriend were looking at girls in front of you, you’d probably be pissed, right? But here’s the thing–you’re actually a lot more likely to be looking at girls than he is–and we bet you spend more time looking at girls than he does, too. Really!
A new study says that we women and gals spend more time looking at girls than we do looking at men. And it’s not because we want to date girls or anything–it’s because we’re comparing ourselves to them. While that’s not great (everyone is different and awesome and gorgeous in her own way!), it does make sense: When we’re looking at guys, we can tell pretty quickly if we want to keep looking at them if they’re cute, and a lot of times we look away to avoid seeming creepy (ahem). On the other hand, when we’re looking at girls, we’re actually assessing things: “Is she cuter than me? Those shoes are cute, I wonder where she got them! Crap, did she just look at my boyfriend?”
When girls are looking at girls, there are a few specific things that we tend to focus on: what they’re wearing, how thin they are, how much cellulite they have, and what her hair looks like. We’re basically scoping out our competition to see how we measure up and if we should be worried. And according to the study, half of us actually enjoy doing that–and 10 percent of us feel the need to always be better looking than “the competition.” Dude, why?!
First off, that’s exhausting. There are zillions of women and girls around, and each and every one of us has something (often a few things!) uniquely beautiful about us. Men in trucks like to yell out that I have a nice butt. One of my BFFs has amazing hazel eyes and perfect skin, while another has blue eyes and legs that go on for days. We all look totally different, but, not to brag, we’re all cute as hell. And so are you.
Comparing yourself to anyone else isn’t just a waste of time, but it’s also damaging to your body image and ultimately to your spirit. You’ve heard it a million times, but only because it’s true: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Instead of comparing yourself to others and silently judging each other, work together. The good news is, the study says about half of us are already onto this. If you’re envious of the girl with the awesome Ariel-red hair, ask her what dye she uses and tell her it looks awesome, and if the mood strikes, try it out yourself. See a girl with amazing eyelashes on the bus? Tell her how pretty they are and ask what she uses. Trust us–they’ll be flattered, and you’ll feel better.
The best thing you can do to feel pretty and “suss out” the competition when you’re looking at girls is to be the best version of you that you can be. When you’re truly happy with yourself and comfortable in your own skin–even if your skin isn’t as flawless as my bestie’s–you will ultimately stop comparing and start complimenting. And happiness looks good on everyone.
What goes through your head when you’re looking at girls? Do you compare yourself to other girls? Does looking at girls make you feel inadequate or does it actually make you happy? Tell us in the comments!