There’s no sugar-coating it: getting over an ex stinks. Whether a relationship was good or bad, long or short, or serious or not-so-serious, letting go of a person you trusted and gave yourself to is never easy. The only thing worse than dealing with a nasty breakup is still not being able to get over your ex after months of being single.
At some point in our lives, we’ve all wondered to ourselves how we’ll ever forget about one certain someone. It might even seem impossible at times… and that thought can really bring a girl down. So when I saw this topic in the message boards, I knew it was something that everyone could relate to. Check out some the awesome advice from one of our girls – then give some of your own.
Honestly, I never thought I’d be posting something like this because I really believed that I wouldn’t have an issue like this; that I’d be strong and just be able to brush my ex off because I was the one who ended it.
I’ve deleted his number and Facebook so I never text him, but I still find myself messaging him. I feel almost like a failure and pathetic because I still feel attached to him and he has already moved on. He’s in a new relationship, he literally started dating her when we started college which was a few weeks after we broke up. How do you move on that fast? This irritated me because it’s like, look how quickly he gets a new girlfriend and I haven’t even had a guy take interest in me but I guess I’m used to that since I’ve never been popular with males; never have never will. I’m surprised I even have an ex to be perfectly honest.
When I talk to him I sound so desperate, because I tell him how if he was single I’d hook-up with him and that it’s not fair that I’m lonely and he isn’t. He was my first ever boyfriend and I had sex with him; I don’t regret that but maybe if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t still feel attached to him.
I also seem to have lost the bit of self-confidence I worked hard to get from advice given by you girls. I feel crappy, ugly, unattractive, needy and worthless. I feel that I’ll never have a boyfriend again, when I go to uni I’ll be the woman that never dates/hooks up with anyone and when all my friend’s are getting engaged/married/pregnant, I’ll still be single.
I know what I need to do, cut ties with him and stop speaking to him. I’ve tried before believe me, but it’s difficult y’know.? I know it’s no excuse but I lack willpower; I won’t contact him and he’ll either contact me or I won’t stop thinking about him and give in.
I hate making posts like this because it just sounds like whining but I really think I need someone to speak to.
Okay, well for starters, go to a nail salon and treat yourself to a mani-pedi. You deserve it .
Second, people move on at their own pace. You can’t expect to find love just weeks after breaking up with him. Life just doesn’t happen like that. And if he’s saying he misses you and is still talking to you that’s a red flag that he moved on too quickly. The first thing you need to do is stop messaging him. As hard as that is, you don’t want to be the cause of the breakup of his new relationship, he may end up resenting you for it later. You don’t want to be “the other girl” and no girl wants to feel desperate – you’re making things worse on yourself by continuously talking to him. Plus, like you said, he has moved on and is in another relationship. The best thing you can do is leave him alone (as hard as that is) and be happy for him. What you’re doing isn’t fair to either of you.
It’s okay to feel crappy, he was obviously your first love and that’s normal to feel bad after you lose someone like that. This is many a girl’s problem after a breakup: You’re so worried about him and what he’s doing that you forget about YOU. Then you stop and go: Why am I not happy? He’s happy because he isn’t sitting around worrying about what you’re doing all day. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t or didn’t care about you, it just means that he’s going to live his life and you should too.
Do you go out with your friends? Do you call them to say hi and see how they’re doing? Try doing this a little bit at a time: Don’t think about him or talk about him when you’re with them. And the more you do that, the more you focus on the moment and where you are and the people you are with, the easier it will be to let go and think of him less. By the time you get to that point (and you will, it just might take some practice) guess what? You’ll be living your own life!
What are your tips for getting over an ex? Have you ever been in this situation? Are you dealing with something like this right now? Tell us in the comments!