If I Lose Weight, Will That Get Guys To Like Me?

losing weight for a guy

Don’t ever lose weight to please someone else | Source: ShutterStock.com

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Alyssa1999 said:

I’m 13, I’m 5 ft. and I’m 210 pounds. I’m bubbly, funny, loud, a tomboy and I am very country. I like guys A LOT, but nobody ever seems to look at me and I’ve never had anyone like me (except one guy a few years ago, but no one serious/major). I would really like to date, but it seems that no one can ever see past my weight!

I am currently trying to lose weight (100 pounds is my goal). Do you think that if I lost weight that I could find someone for me? It’s hard enough to find a country guy who is everything I want, but even harder when he can’t see past your size (which is 18).

I love my curves, and I try to be positive, so I don’t need any advice on that.

POINT IS: :: :: Do you think some one would like me if I was smaller in size?

Thanks!!

We just need to make a quick comment here: ladies, you never need to lose weight in order to get anyone to like you. This girl sounds totally awesome – and if a dude can’t see past what you look like, then you most definitely don’t want him around. Trust us on that. Also? The only reason (besides health reasons) you should lose weight is for yourself. Doing it for approval from others? Never, ever worth it.

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Let this girl know what you think about losing weight and trying to get guys to like you.

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41 Comments

  1. avatarsarah says:

    Yes I think it is important to look good and stay trim. I was a fatty myself and I hated myself for being fat. I am 14 now. Do you think a guy would like a fat girl? I dont think so. They may be polite and be your friend but when it comes to wanting to be more than just that, guys will choose someone more attractive and pretty and slim. All this may souund superficial, but those are the laws of attraction. Physical beauty is what first meets the eye. Dont be under the false illusion that a guy will love you for your personality. For him to get to know your personality you need to appeal to his eye first and for him to be attracted enough to come over and speak to you.
    My boyfriend helped me through my depression and help me fight my weight issue. I have lost so much weight it is unbelievable. I met this guy on line and he is a lot older than me but I have had the most amazing relationship with him. He lives in the same town as me. Yes he likes sex with me and I lost my virginity to him several months ago. People might not approve of what we do but he has been my soul mate. I’ve now been with him for 9 months and I am off my antidepressants.

    • avatarmirella says:

      You hear so many bad stories about older guys and younger girls but there are many more nicer stories of how girls are helped by a much older boyfriend. I must admit there must be some truth to the fact that girls relate to older guys a lot better than to guys their own age. Older guys tend to be more endearing and patient too, like Sarah’s story above. This is such a great story and I am glad Sarah is doing well and now off antidepressants. I hope we can be more open and broadminded about such relationships. Well done Sarah!

  2. avatarAtari says:

    If you lose weight, will guys like you? As is typical with short questions, they want a short answer but they ignore all nuance and thus, an answer will lack definition.

    Will men like you more physically? Yes. Will guys initially be more interested? Almost certainly.
    Will they like you as a person? Not necessarily.

    If I talk to a girl who is 280 pounds and like everything about her, I will still not date her because it takes a LOT of work to be that unhealthy.
    If she lost an hundred and twenty pounds then it will be different, and not because I am shallow, but because I do not want a girl who will not care for herself, who has no concern for her appearance and health, or who has so little self control that she cannot properly care for herself.

    A great personality and similar interests may be the ties that bind a relationship, but physical attractive made the knots.

  3. Pingback: Should I Lose Weight to Save My Relationship?

  4. avatarkan says:

    honestly guy might like you but first you should love urself more. lose weight for urself love ur health first

  5. avatarBarbara says:

    you should lose weight for yourself and then that will help you alot in the love life part because these days guys only go for physical appearance so go lose some weight .

  6. avatarKay says:

    i had a very similar problem. only i was 16 280lbs 5’3 and had not had a bf EVER! i lost 100lbs just to get the guy i wanted and by the time i lost 100lbs in a year,i didnt want him. i didnt feel bad about the fact that i had worked my ass off (no i REALLY worked my ass off) for a guy. i had learned so much in that little time,i learned that if a guy can accept me at 280,he sure as hell cant come crawling to me at 180. lol i also learned what i liked. and my taste in guys changed. so in the end. i lost weight,grew up and learned a little bit about myself

  7. avatarDeya says:

    In my opinion beside health issues no girl wants to lose weight. Everybody likes good food and it is very HARD to lose weight. Count calories and exercise, it seems easy, but it’s not. If you want to get motivated to lose those pounds then do it so you can be more beautiful, so you can rub it in those people’s faces that are judging you or don’t like you, so boys will like you, and the list goes on and on! No boy likes chubby girls! Trust me! I’m 190 and 5′ 5” and no guy accepts me beside my boy best friends. I am not rude because I know what’s like to feel you don’t belong in this world of beauty. You are beautiful, your body just needs some work. Be patient and think about how happy you will be if you lose weight and how beautiful you’ll be, bet you’re be more beautiful than those mean girls. Guys lie when they say they like plus size girls. We lie when we say we like plus size guys, isn’t it?

  8. avatarMaria says:

    If you weight that much you should lose some for your health. I’m 13 5″3′ and weigh 95 lbs. You need to do it to be healthy

  9. avatarVivian says:

    At 13, guys are immature and don’t realize that they wouldn’t exist unless every one of their moms was a model, at least in their general thinking. i know many sweet and mature guys but the immature outweigh them by the millions. They don’t know looks aren’t what gets you in a steady relationship. I know because I’m just flat out not pretty in the blonde, skinny, ‘perfect’ way. I’m beautiful and perfect for me and I know guys at my school are superficial. I’m 13 too and was bold enough to tell the guy I liked that I liked him but he slammed the locker in my face. I really don’t mind because at least now I know he’s a jerk. Same thing. If a guy can’t appreciate you for you, he isn’t worth your time. If you already have the gut and perseverance to lose weight for health, YOU GO GIRL!

  10. avatarMiss Sunshine says:

    Every girl in the world is different. And every girl wants different things in looks in a guy, some women like larger men other prefer skinny, blue or green eyes, black or blonde hair, the same goes for guys! But everyone just wants someone to love and make them feel happy, you do not get happiness from how much your partner weighs you get it from there personality! Your 13 just focus on happiness and being the nicest person you can be and the boys will come flocking! :)

  11. avatarAnn says:

    I don’t think some of you guys are getting it. I’m pretty sure she already understands that she has to lose weight, and she’s already trying. I think she’s losing weight because of her health, but she’s also asking if guys would suddenly like her more if/when she loses the weight. I really don’t think that the ONLY reason Alyssa is trying to lose weight is for guys.

  12. avatarRay T says:

    Well i think that you should ut in your mind that you want to lose weight fo ryour own health and not for a guy to like you . thats the first dtep
    second step you have to be determined about it dont just talk but you also have to do what you say.
    p.s : if a guy likes you for your body then he is definitelynot the one for you babe. trust me i’ve been there before. if he likes you he should overcome your weight problems ..
    I hope i helped xxx
    R

  13. avatarlove90 says:

    i do think that physical attraction is the first thing you look at when meeting someone, but you should never lose weight because you want guys to like you of course who doesnt but dont ever do something for someone else do it for yourself and being overweight can bring health problems. lose weight to feel better and then the rest comes along and to be healthy.

  14. avatarPerson says:

    At 210lbs you should definitely lose weight, but not for a boy, for your own health.

  15. avatarleyla says:

    I agree with Nai. She definitely needs to lose weight at 5 ft and 210 pounds. Not for approval, but for her health. If she got down to a healthy weight, she would be so much healthier and have less risk of diabetes and heart disease. I mean i’m 5’4 and 148 pounds and i’m considered overweight, so being only 5 ft. tall and weighing 210 pounds cannot be good.

  16. avatarBooBoo says:

    Well i’m trying to loose weight too and i’m 13. I guess it will work both for your health and someone to be attracted.

  17. avatarcrystalgirl13 says:

    i’m 13, 5ft and 167 pounds i know how you feel, it seems like no one wants to date the “fat girl” guy sat my school always go for the supper skinny girls, i don’t care what people think about me as long as i’m happy with myself, i couldn’t imagen life with out my curves. i don’t know if i helped you and but i hope you feel better knowing your not alone if you ever want to chat you can email me at harveybm@eastnoble.net keep your head up i can only get better.

  18. avatarNai says:

    This is why I sometimes disagree with the things put on this website. The darling girl is 210 lbs. and 13 years old, of course she should lose weight. Not necessarily for a boy but for herself so that she can grow into a HEALTHY young woman.

  19. avatarSummer says:

    I understand you want to date and everything, but you shouldn’t want to date a person that only cares what you look like. If they don’t like your curves, then you don’t have to like them. If you’re going to lose weight, you should do it for yourself. Because when you do it for yourself it makes the goal so much greater and easier to accomplish. You sound like a lovely person, and if the boys you’re going after can’t look past your weight then you’re going after the wrong kind of boys. You’re only 13 you have plenty of time to date (I’m not trying to tell you what to do) I think you should wait just a little while longer

  20. avatarMaddilynn says:

    I don’t think you should ever lose weight for any other reason except doctor’s orders, you want to for health or severe illnesses! If a guy can’t get past you weight he doesn’t deserve to be with an awesome girl like you!

    Xoxo M

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