If I Lose Weight, Will That Get Guys To Like Me?

losing weight for a guy

Don’t ever lose weight to please someone else | Source: ShutterStock.com

Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are wondering if losing weight will help make guys like them:

Alyssa1999 said:

I’m 13, I’m 5 ft. and I’m 210 pounds. I’m bubbly, funny, loud, a tomboy and I am very country. I like guys A LOT, but nobody ever seems to look at me and I’ve never had anyone like me (except one guy a few years ago, but no one serious/major). I would really like to date, but it seems that no one can ever see past my weight!

I am currently trying to lose weight (100 pounds is my goal). Do you think that if I lost weight that I could find someone for me? It’s hard enough to find a country guy who is everything I want, but even harder when he can’t see past your size (which is 18).

I love my curves, and I try to be positive, so I don’t need any advice on that.

POINT IS: :: :: Do you think some one would like me if I was smaller in size?


We just need to make a quick comment here: ladies, you never need to lose weight in order to get anyone to like you. This girl sounds totally awesome – and if a dude can’t see past what you look like, then you most definitely don’t want him around. Trust us on that. Also? The only reason (besides health reasons) you should lose weight is for yourself. Doing it for approval from others? Never, ever worth it.

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Let this girl know what you think about losing weight and trying to get guys to like you.

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.


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  • Ellie

    I am 13 too and I think it is important to lose weight. I am crazy about my friends brother and hes finished school and about to go to university. He’s now a lot more interested and wants to have sex with me. we have done a lot of things including oral sex and I am okay with that now. I am more comfortable with my body now that I have lost weight. I am going to his place this weekend. I think this will be THE BIG WEEKEND for me. I can’t wait.

    • chubbygurl

      hehehehe, wat happend? did u lose ur virginity? 😛

    • Jordyn

      One doesn’t just simply be 13 and have sex with an adult going off to a university. WHAT. THEFUHK. Am I the only one who thinks this guy should be caught or am I missing something.

      • carol ann

        and……….. whats wrong with that Jordyn? She says she is crazy about him. She knows she likes him. So who are you to decide that what she and he are doing is wrong? Yes you are missing something….BRAINS!!!. She is quite okay with doing things with the guy. Obviously he likes her a lot. She probably wants to have her first time before he goes away. I am not sure what’s the big deal. She is probably a lot more aware and confident of herself even though she is 13. I dont see anything wrong with this. Age?… well really.. who cares!!!

      • innocence

        hahahah she doesnt need to “catch” him!!! She’s already got him..lol
        Jordyn you are one stupid bitch. There is nothing wrong with her wanting to have sex with him. Yes, you said it you are the only one who thinks this way. LOL. Stay where you are – ON THE SHELF..lol.. forever too!!

        • Kaizux

          something is wrong with the world. Jordyn I agree. There is absolutely no reason a KID should be having sex or oral sex. 13? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? you haven’t even finished going through puberty! Perhaps you haven’t even started to go through it yet! Besides that, she is 13! This MAN has got to be atleast 18 or older. There is no reason for them to talk that way or act that way. Also, Age is just a number when you are old enough. 13.. and 18.. just no. 25 and 30 sure. they are both adults. But 13 is a child. a kid. At tops a pre-teen. Notice the ”pre”. Meaning before you even turn into a teenager! It doesn’t matter how much you like him you shouldn’t do that. Also, trust me, he doesn’t like her. He likes her body. Which is also disgusting that he finds a child sexy enough to have sex with. Just foul. Majority of you are probably from my generation. Which emplains why all of your opinions are so fucked up.

          • gianna

            what an over reaction! why is wrong at 13 to want to have sex? So you think you are above nature? awesome!! NOT
            She obviously isnt a child. She has grown up fast and needs the intimacy. Be it hormones, be it sheer horniness, she is created that way. How are you going to stop her and if you do stop her you think that will last? She has found an older guy because she probably relates well to him. Yes, he may like her body. Is that wrong? Thats what is called sexual attraction.
            How old are you? are you prehistoric..LOL??
            BTW 13 is not preteen. THIR TEEN. See that number 13, has “teen” in it so she is a teenager!!

  • sarah

    Yes I think it is important to look good and stay trim. I was a fatty myself and I hated myself for being fat. I am 14 now. Do you think a guy would like a fat girl? I dont think so. They may be polite and be your friend but when it comes to wanting to be more than just that, guys will choose someone more attractive and pretty and slim. All this may souund superficial, but those are the laws of attraction. Physical beauty is what first meets the eye. Dont be under the false illusion that a guy will love you for your personality. For him to get to know your personality you need to appeal to his eye first and for him to be attracted enough to come over and speak to you.
    My boyfriend helped me through my depression and help me fight my weight issue. I have lost so much weight it is unbelievable. I met this guy on line and he is a lot older than me but I have had the most amazing relationship with him. He lives in the same town as me. Yes he likes sex with me and I lost my virginity to him several months ago. People might not approve of what we do but he has been my soul mate. I’ve now been with him for 9 months and I am off my antidepressants.

    • mirella

      You hear so many bad stories about older guys and younger girls but there are many more nicer stories of how girls are helped by a much older boyfriend. I must admit there must be some truth to the fact that girls relate to older guys a lot better than to guys their own age. Older guys tend to be more endearing and patient too, like Sarah’s story above. This is such a great story and I am glad Sarah is doing well and now off antidepressants. I hope we can be more open and broadminded about such relationships. Well done Sarah!

  • Atari

    If you lose weight, will guys like you? As is typical with short questions, they want a short answer but they ignore all nuance and thus, an answer will lack definition.

    Will men like you more physically? Yes. Will guys initially be more interested? Almost certainly.
    Will they like you as a person? Not necessarily.

    If I talk to a girl who is 280 pounds and like everything about her, I will still not date her because it takes a LOT of work to be that unhealthy.
    If she lost an hundred and twenty pounds then it will be different, and not because I am shallow, but because I do not want a girl who will not care for herself, who has no concern for her appearance and health, or who has so little self control that she cannot properly care for herself.

    A great personality and similar interests may be the ties that bind a relationship, but physical attractive made the knots.

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  • kan

    honestly guy might like you but first you should love urself more. lose weight for urself love ur health first

  • Barbara

    you should lose weight for yourself and then that will help you alot in the love life part because these days guys only go for physical appearance so go lose some weight .

  • Kay

    i had a very similar problem. only i was 16 280lbs 5’3 and had not had a bf EVER! i lost 100lbs just to get the guy i wanted and by the time i lost 100lbs in a year,i didnt want him. i didnt feel bad about the fact that i had worked my ass off (no i REALLY worked my ass off) for a guy. i had learned so much in that little time,i learned that if a guy can accept me at 280,he sure as hell cant come crawling to me at 180. lol i also learned what i liked. and my taste in guys changed. so in the end. i lost weight,grew up and learned a little bit about myself

  • Deya

    In my opinion beside health issues no girl wants to lose weight. Everybody likes good food and it is very HARD to lose weight. Count calories and exercise, it seems easy, but it’s not. If you want to get motivated to lose those pounds then do it so you can be more beautiful, so you can rub it in those people’s faces that are judging you or don’t like you, so boys will like you, and the list goes on and on! No boy likes chubby girls! Trust me! I’m 190 and 5′ 5” and no guy accepts me beside my boy best friends. I am not rude because I know what’s like to feel you don’t belong in this world of beauty. You are beautiful, your body just needs some work. Be patient and think about how happy you will be if you lose weight and how beautiful you’ll be, bet you’re be more beautiful than those mean girls. Guys lie when they say they like plus size girls. We lie when we say we like plus size guys, isn’t it?

  • Maria

    If you weight that much you should lose some for your health. I’m 13 5″3′ and weigh 95 lbs. You need to do it to be healthy

  • Vivian

    At 13, guys are immature and don’t realize that they wouldn’t exist unless every one of their moms was a model, at least in their general thinking. i know many sweet and mature guys but the immature outweigh them by the millions. They don’t know looks aren’t what gets you in a steady relationship. I know because I’m just flat out not pretty in the blonde, skinny, ‘perfect’ way. I’m beautiful and perfect for me and I know guys at my school are superficial. I’m 13 too and was bold enough to tell the guy I liked that I liked him but he slammed the locker in my face. I really don’t mind because at least now I know he’s a jerk. Same thing. If a guy can’t appreciate you for you, he isn’t worth your time. If you already have the gut and perseverance to lose weight for health, YOU GO GIRL!

  • Miss Sunshine

    Every girl in the world is different. And every girl wants different things in looks in a guy, some women like larger men other prefer skinny, blue or green eyes, black or blonde hair, the same goes for guys! But everyone just wants someone to love and make them feel happy, you do not get happiness from how much your partner weighs you get it from there personality! Your 13 just focus on happiness and being the nicest person you can be and the boys will come flocking! 🙂

  • Ann

    I don’t think some of you guys are getting it. I’m pretty sure she already understands that she has to lose weight, and she’s already trying. I think she’s losing weight because of her health, but she’s also asking if guys would suddenly like her more if/when she loses the weight. I really don’t think that the ONLY reason Alyssa is trying to lose weight is for guys.

  • love90

    i do think that physical attraction is the first thing you look at when meeting someone, but you should never lose weight because you want guys to like you of course who doesnt but dont ever do something for someone else do it for yourself and being overweight can bring health problems. lose weight to feel better and then the rest comes along and to be healthy.

  • Person

    At 210lbs you should definitely lose weight, but not for a boy, for your own health.

  • leyla

    I agree with Nai. She definitely needs to lose weight at 5 ft and 210 pounds. Not for approval, but for her health. If she got down to a healthy weight, she would be so much healthier and have less risk of diabetes and heart disease. I mean i’m 5’4 and 148 pounds and i’m considered overweight, so being only 5 ft. tall and weighing 210 pounds cannot be good.

  • BooBoo

    Well i’m trying to loose weight too and i’m 13. I guess it will work both for your health and someone to be attracted.

  • crystalgirl13

    i’m 13, 5ft and 167 pounds i know how you feel, it seems like no one wants to date the “fat girl” guy sat my school always go for the supper skinny girls, i don’t care what people think about me as long as i’m happy with myself, i couldn’t imagen life with out my curves. i don’t know if i helped you and but i hope you feel better knowing your not alone if you ever want to chat you can email me at harveybm@eastnoble.net keep your head up i can only get better.

  • Nai

    This is why I sometimes disagree with the things put on this website. The darling girl is 210 lbs. and 13 years old, of course she should lose weight. Not necessarily for a boy but for herself so that she can grow into a HEALTHY young woman.

  • Summer

    I understand you want to date and everything, but you shouldn’t want to date a person that only cares what you look like. If they don’t like your curves, then you don’t have to like them. If you’re going to lose weight, you should do it for yourself. Because when you do it for yourself it makes the goal so much greater and easier to accomplish. You sound like a lovely person, and if the boys you’re going after can’t look past your weight then you’re going after the wrong kind of boys. You’re only 13 you have plenty of time to date (I’m not trying to tell you what to do) I think you should wait just a little while longer

  • Maddilynn

    I don’t think you should ever lose weight for any other reason except doctor’s orders, you want to for health or severe illnesses! If a guy can’t get past you weight he doesn’t deserve to be with an awesome girl like you!

    Xoxo M