If I Lose Weight, Will That Get Guys To Like Me?

losing weight for a guy

Don’t ever lose weight to please someone else | Source: ShutterStock.com

Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are wondering if losing weight will help make guys like them:

Alyssa1999 said:

I’m 13, I’m 5 ft. and I’m 210 pounds. I’m bubbly, funny, loud, a tomboy and I am very country. I like guys A LOT, but nobody ever seems to look at me and I’ve never had anyone like me (except one guy a few years ago, but no one serious/major). I would really like to date, but it seems that no one can ever see past my weight!

I am currently trying to lose weight (100 pounds is my goal). Do you think that if I lost weight that I could find someone for me? It’s hard enough to find a country guy who is everything I want, but even harder when he can’t see past your size (which is 18).

I love my curves, and I try to be positive, so I don’t need any advice on that.

POINT IS: :: :: Do you think some one would like me if I was smaller in size?


We just need to make a quick comment here: ladies, you never need to lose weight in order to get anyone to like you. This girl sounds totally awesome – and if a dude can’t see past what you look like, then you most definitely don’t want him around. Trust us on that. Also? The only reason (besides health reasons) you should lose weight is for yourself. Doing it for approval from others? Never, ever worth it.

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Let this girl know what you think about losing weight and trying to get guys to like you.

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.


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  • bigGurl

    I lost my mom when I was 13 and I was very emotional. I had a bf who was 15 and we were close but we didnt do anything. When my mom died I needed some closeness and I wanted him near me all the time. I even agreed to sex with him but he wouldnt becoz he said I was fat. I felt so horrible and cried my heart out.
    I then met my friends brother who is 22 and he was so nice to me. He was so caring and we got really close. He didnt bother about my weight and he liked me a lot. I realised I wanted to lose my virginity to him and he arranged for me to go to his place. He made me feel the best and the sex was just so sweet and I felt the warmth. The intimacy was just mind blowing. I didnt care he was older. He was so cool about it too. He gave me the plan B and then we had unprotected sex when I lost my virginity. I trusted him and for 3 days we had almost non stop unprotected sex. I got my period 4 days later.

    He was my confidence booster. I will be 15 in a few months but I have had 2 bfs since and they have all been a lot older.

  • kaizux

    To Gianna:

    Well I am sorry that you think that it is okay but I do not. Majority of society’s opinions have changed and I do not like them. Sorry. Obviously I am not above nature. I am just as human as you are. When I was 13 I thought I knew everything and was ready for everything. But now that I look back I just think that I was crazy. I am not going to stop her. If she wants to do it, by all means do it. I just do not think it is right and that will not change. I get relating to people that are older than you but 18 year old men aren’t usually looking for friendships. At 13 that is what you are supposed to be looking for. I find it kind of wrong yes. 18 is an adult and 13 is a teen. Just because we have instincts and because we feel certain ways doesn’t mean we should act on them. I want to beat up about half of the people I know. But I don’t because that is obviously wrong. But yes you are right. 13 is a teenager. I just consider it a preteen now as I find 16 more suitable to call a teen. That is my personally opinion though. oh yeah. That’s where we get the ‘teens’ from 😛

    Oh, and I am 18 actually. I was just raised with different morals than you. At the end of the day let’s just agree to disagree. nothing is wrong with neither of our opinions and that is okay.

    • prettyLilbabe

      yes you are right Kaizux, this is your opinion and NOT shared by everyone else or other teen girls who are perfectly happy and adjusted in their relationships with older guys.
      You dont even understand that 13 is a teen and you have your own rules about that.
      You may have different morals but those are for you and you alone. It doesn’t make you more virtuous just because you have different rules for yourself.
      Remember being judgemental is the worst thing that you can do and no matter how many morals you have this is the biggest injustice you can do to anyone.
      So, stop putting yourself on the pedestal dishing out rules and opinions and expecting others to follow. Stop judging. You need to be tolerant and accepting. That will be a more attractive trait.
      Girls will do what they want to do depending on the influences and their circumstances. This is a place to share such experiences. No one comes on here expecting to be belittled or judged. You have done exactly that. Let others share their experiences without the fear of being judged. That is a mark of being civilised.
      Far from what you may think, some 13 yr olds can decide what they want in life. They may not know everything but thats exactly what developing experience is all about. People need to learn from their experiences. Even a “bad experience” is a valuable learning lesson. Bad experience to you may be a “not so bad” experience to others. Have you heard of the saying “one man’s food is the other man’s poison” So are experiences.

      • Kaizux

        Thank you for responding so respectably. I know it is my opinion and I am kind of ignorant at times. I did not mean to come off as judgmental in a bad way either. I was simply stating my views. I wouldn’t exactly say I am that judgmental, intolerant, or rejecting considering how I live my daily life. I constantly promote self worth, being open minded etc. I also don’t think I am on any kind of pedestal. At the end of the day anyone can do absolutely whatever they want, I may not agree and I usually do not say anything if I do disagree. But I am sorry, I do not agree that someone so young should be with someone that much older. I have had so many friends date older men at such a young age and every single one turned out horribly. I cannot help but get weirded out and worried by that. I am fully aware some 13 year olds can be very mature and know what they want in life, but that is not the norm. If they want to have sex, good for them. I will not agree but as it is her body she can do what she wants.

        • mature and understanding

          You say you are not judgemental. Are you kidding?? You say you are weirded out and worried about this girl being 13 and going out and having sex with someone may years older that her. Now if that is not judgemental, what is??

          Look you may not be used to this. Remember – one man’s food is another man’s poison. You may have your own view on this matter and you may not like what she is doing. This is her life and her choice. You may be insecure and not have the confidence to share love with someone older and who you relate to extremely well.

          I agree not all girls her age ail do what she is doing. There are many reasons for this – one being fear, apprehension, awkwardness, insecurity and above all confidence lack. But there will be an occasion when some girls will do exactly that. They may want to have a relationship with someone older like the girl “big girl” who posted her story. Nothing wrong with that. We have to accept that sometimes some girls will do just that. This does not make the guy bad or the girl a slut. They are both attracted to each other and the chemistry of attraction is very difficult to understand

          Why has the age 13 be so scrutinised? Why is it so wrong for a 13 yr old to fall in love and have sex? You don’t have to agree with them BUT you need to accept.

  • Ifartmexico

    You write really well for a 13 year old

    Guys do like skinny girls, especially younger guys.

    Not thin thin where your spine and ribs are protruding, but damn near.

    The beyonce/marylin monroe/ j-lo type curves are probably the most

    Coveted. But the average guy seems to be perfectly fine with a slender

    Girl. Like I said, very thin but no pointy parts 🙂

    • Jacinta Lee

      I agree, isn’t it great to see how more mature a 13 yr old can be?
      I think all guys like slim girls ( not necessarily skinny skinny)
      Fat is ugly and reflects on the girl itself. I think especially these days girls need to be a lot more aware of theit bodies and be more interested in being healthy and fit.
      Fat = lazy and NO guy is going to be interested in a lazy slob. Simple truth.
      The other extreme anorexia ! That is so ugly too. Have you seen an anorexic girl.
      They look disgusting, just bones sticking out and they think they are pretty and attractive. That situation is real yucky. How can any guy want that?

      I am glad thst some 13 yr olds have come out and made comments and are taking part in this debate. Can you believe many have boyfriends too and have done the hoochie koochee too. I think that is so good that they have made their minds up themselves.

  • HateToBeFat

    Fat girls are “ready to date, eager to mate”
    Fat girls waste their time getting fat, why cant they spend more time being healthy.
    To be fat means you dont respect yourself. In that case how do you expect guys to respect you.
    A lot of fatties just stuff their faces with all the wrong foods. Then they complain they cannot lose weight. Well go see a dietitian. Exercise and get rid of some of that unsightly lard.
    I agree sometimes being fat is due to a disease process but dont use that as an excuse. Americans are the fattest, slobbiest, “eat all you want for one dollar types”
    Just look at the amount of sugary drinks and the carbs they consume. Every food has sugar in it or that grotesque fructose corn syrup. Even the turkey for special occasions ( like thanksgiving) is deep fried. Isn’t there some kind of decent American cuisine?
    How can you be attractive being so fat and ugly?

  • mel

    Tell me truthfully, which girl would go for a fat, ugly, smelly boy who sweats and stinks and with his thighs rubbing together and a tummy so big he has never seen his own penis?
    I bet no girl would even give him a second look, maybe out of curiosity but not because they are attracted to him.
    In the same way, dont expect guys to lust after a fat girl.

  • Kaiya

    As a girl being fat is horrible and ugly. You may say guys should accept you as you are and for who you are. This can happen only if the guy knows you first. If you dont know a guy and you are in an all girls school, then the chance of meeting a guy who likes you when you are fat are poor.
    It is very important as a girl to look good and make sure you are attractive enough for the guy to approach you and chat to you. Those who are fat, please take the trouble of slimming. Not only is being fat unhealthy but also makes your chances of getting a good boy, must less.

    • Rachel

      How would being skinny or fit help a girl find a good guy? If the guy was any good he would love the girl no matter what, Stuff like this is what triggers anorexia.

      • kristelle

        Being fit and pretty makes girls confident and secure. That in itself is very attractive.
        Triggers anorexia? rubbish. Dont use these excuses as a justification for anorexia. That is such rubbish. Those girls who suffer from anorexia are weak minded and have a great deal of psych issues. Their threshold for issues is very low. So please dont blame anyone for a girl being anorexic. This is the way society is totally screwed. Everyone else gets blamed but not the individual. How stupid is that? That is a load of hogwash. Anorexia is self inflicted. I have no pity for anorexics. They are extremely manipulative and crafty. So dont use that example.
        Girls have to take their appearances seriously. Guys will hate frumpy, fat, ugly girls. This is the way nature works. The ones that are selected are the one who will go on to produce good offspring. So the onus is on girls to take care of their appearance. I dont mean they should be extreme in their ways and resort to plastic surgery like the stupid Korean girls do

  • Aroundtheworld3

    I’m 13 too! But I’m 5 feet and 80 pounds so I’m slightly below average. I think a guy should like you for your looks and personality.

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  • chubbygurl

    Tell me, would any girl go for a fat, ugly guy?
    We gurls like cute, hot guys. Why do we like justin beiber and 1D??
    None of those guys are fat.
    How then can we expect guys to like fat gurls?
    I hate being fat. I am not that fat but I am chubby but my bf tells me thts becoz I just turned 13. To me older guyz are more understandin and he wus so nice to me wen I lost my virginity to him. I am still wit him 6 months later.
    No one wants u wen you are fat. It takes a patient and undastandin guy 4 tht.