Three Things You Should Never Do In The Bathroom

things you should never do in the bathroom

Just be cool in there–okay? | Source: Shutterstock

Last night, I went out for pizza with one of my best girlfriends, and before we left, I decided I should hit the ladies room. I didn’t specifically have to go yet, but it was freezing cold out and I didn’t want to be doing the pee-pee dance the whole way of my 15 minute walk home (it’s not a good look and I know it). So I got up, walked to the bathrooms and slid the door open. To my horror, some girl was inside (although I couldn’t see her), shouting, “I’m just pulling up my pants! Will be out in a second!”

Huh. The lock on the door must have been busted? Whatever, I felt kind of bad and figured she’d be done super soon. But then she wasn’t. Five minutes went by. Then two more. What kind of pants was this girl wearing?! At this point, I actually did have to pee and was super annoyed.

When the girl finally opened the door, she was ON HER PHONE, and mouthed the words, “It’s okay, no worries!” at me, as if I should be apologizing for her marathon bathroom break. What’s more, upon entering the bathroom, I saw that the lock was most definitely not broken. Homegirl was just an idiot. Ugh.

This brings me to my point: There are many things that I wouldn’t advise anyone to do or attempt to do in the bathroom, but among them there are three absolute no-nos. So, what are the three things you should never, ever do in the bathroom when you’re out in public? Let’s go over them:

1. Talking On The Phone
I would even extend this to your own home. Nobody wants to talk to you while you’re peeing or doing . . . well, other things we do in the toilet. It’s gross, and even if you think the other person doesn’t know, they almost definitely do. Stop being so delusional. I can guarantee you that whatever you have to say can wait a couple minutes until you’ve finished your business.

2. Having Sexy Times
Maybe you’re super turned on by the idea of getting frisky in the bathroom, but I promise you that all the people waiting in line because they actually have to pee are nothing but pissed off. Plus, last time I checked, the nasty air fresheners and fluorescent lighting in the average public bathroom aren’t exactly romantic. Get a clue. Or at least a room.

3. Fixing Your Nails
A few weeks ago, I was waiting for the bathroom for like, 10 minutes at a cafe when I finally started banging on the door (yes, I’m that girl). When the girl came out, she was holding her hands pretty strangely and the whole bathroom smelled like nail polish. What the hell?! My bladder had been suffering so some stupid girl could fix a chipped nail? A chipped nail that I’m certain nobody could see in the low-lighting of the cafe? So not cool.

What do you think are the worst things people do in the bathroom? Tell me in the comments!

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4 Comments

  1. avatarteea...x says:

    Word of advice; Never sit on the toilet seat.Its really Unhygienic and from experience you can get horrible,Itchy and red spots on your bum cheeks.

    Another Word of advice; Always keep spear tissue with you. you never know when your gonna need it, Especially in a ‘poo’ situation. :)

  2. avatarMari says:

    Well, I hate people who turn the lights on and off. Seriously.

  3. avatarLily says:

    I try to be polite when I use a public bathroom. A lot of people don’t like using public bathrooms because they aren’t clean half the time and they lack privacy. Since I work in a mall and the only bathrooms are public (ugh+eww!=seat covers), I’ve experienced a lot of bad behavior that I can’t stand now. Women come in yelling, laughing, screaming which echos! They bang on all the doors or shake the stall walls, while your in there. Parents let their kids go to the bathroom alone. (big mistake.) They scream, go under stalls, bang on doors, leave a mess, and sometimes I’ve seen them get hurt from climbing. I’ve also noticed some women talk while going to the bathroom, even about their *ahem* it’s so gross to do in a public stall.

    • avatarLolly says:

      Oh, loud people in bathrooms. How I loathe you. This is not a howler monkey enclosure, up to and including the flinging of poo. Also, if your brat sneaks under my cubicle wall, it’s my duty, not just my right, to murder him or her. The remains will be flushed, as far as is physically possible.

      Incidentally, public bathroom design leaves a lot to be desired. There’s a reason people often walk out of their way to take the end cubicle. Make the walls and doors floor-to-ceiling, and if you leave any gaps between door and wall (I’m looking at you, bathrooms of New York), you will suffer the same fate as the last child who tried to look under my door.

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