1. “Hey, It’s Jackie from last night. Wanna hang 2nite?
Never EVER set up a first date via text. This is when I give up on humanity and my eyes start to roll. Yes, I understand that setting up a first date with someone who you just met is a terrifying thing for anyone to do. You may get rejected, you might be asking a fake number to dinner, or you might just get a date with the woman of your dreams, who knows. All I know is that if you’re too nervous to call me and ask me out, you sure as hell aren’t brave enough to date me. Period. And I’m pretty sure dudes feel the same way.
2. Here’s that nekkid pic you wanted 😉
Any naked photos of your boobs, butt, or God knows what else you want to send to you significant other or booty call will NOT end up seen by their eyes only. Believe me. You might think that you have the most loyal boyfriend and “he would never show them to anyone else,” but honey, that picture of you laying spread eagle on the bed sans clothing is going to be seen by all of his locker room companions and maybe his mom if he gets his phone taken away. Definitely not something you want to have happen!
3. “Thx for ingnoring my last 4 texts”
Okay let’s just get this straight. The most effortless way to escalate a fight is to fight through a medium that does not allow for tone (ex: text, Gchat, IM, email etc.) These are all the worst. When you’re pissed off at you girlfriend and you want to send that “Are U ignoring me, or are U just a Bitch?!” text, BACK AWAY FROM THE PHONE. Instead, write down your thoughts, call her and hash it out over the phone or in person. That way, neither of you have the chance to ignore each others questions for hours at a time and you can let them know you are upset without using the crying emoji.
4. “I think we need to break up.”
Please for the love of all things holy, never do this. It’s not that I know from experience or anything *cough cough* but getting broken up with via text is one of the most depressing and pitiful things in life. Like really, I get that you don’t like me anymore, but does this mean you don’t respect me enough to tell me to my face that were over? Even a phone call would have sufficed better than that. If you’re asking yourself why this is such an awful things to do, you don’t deserve to be in a relationship with another human being.
5. “Happy BD, Bestie!!! <3”
This one kills me. For real, girls, just call her. PLEASE. Just take one minute out of your busy life and let a close friend know how glad you are that she was born. If she doesn’t answer, leave a nice voicemail for her to listen to when she can. I know we’re all really busy these days, and modern times have made it acceptable to handle things the quick and easy way, but there isn’t a worse birthday gift than a “HaPpY BiRtHdAy GurL!!!!!” text from someone you’ve been friends with for ten years. If you could call her for hours to talk about a recent episode of Glee, then you can call her to wish her happiness on her special day. Am I right??
6. “I miss u sexxxy. Don’t u miss us together?”
Oh my lawd. If I had a buck for all of times I have humiliated myself sending this one . . . I’d be very, very rich. Once after seeing my ex at a party all over some girl, I texted him “I really miss you, but you and your new girlfriend look happy together.” Let me just say, it took me until now to realize how wrong this was on so many levels. One, because it was ridiculously unnecessary for me to comment on his love life. Two, because as it turned out they were not together and he had just met her that night. And three, because it made me look like a psycho stalker who had my eyes glued to him all night. The only response I got from him that night was “WTF?” So take it from me girls, DO NOT send these texts.
Have you ever sent or gotten any of these bad texts? What are the worst text messages you’ve ever gotten? Tell us in the comments!