5 Signs That You’re In A Toxic Relationship

are you in a toxic relationship?

Love shouldn’t feel this crappy! | Source: Shutterstock

Sure, last week you were in tears over the fact that he didn’t call when he said he would (even though he had plenty of time to write on some other girl’s Facebook wall five times)–but he’s said he’s sorry and you are sure you’ll never fight again. Until next time, that is.

Everyone relationship has their problems now and then, but are you in a toxic relationship? Toxic relationships make you feel kind of crappy about yourself (sometimes super crappy, actually), but they somehow keep pulling you back in. Here are five signs that you’re in way too deep and need to break free from your toxic sweetheart:

1. He Blames His Issues On You
Everyone has their own suitcase full of baggage to deal with, and yes, when you’re in a relationship it can be helpful for the other person to help you learn to deal with some of it–but his issues are not your responsibility! I once dated a guy who was depressed all the time, and he actually told me once that I shouldn’t tell him how much fun I have at parties and things because it made him feel more miserable in comparison. What?! Looking back, I should have gotten out of that toxic relationship way sooner than I did!

2. He Hogs The Spotlight
He made the varsity team? Awesome! You’re obviously baking him some brownies and going out to celebrate! So why is it that when you found out you got into your top choice college, he just sort of shrugged his shoulders and said, “Oh, that’s cool?” It’s because you’re in a toxic relationship, honey. He feels threatened by how great you are and resents seeing you shine as brightly as he does. Bad. News. Bears.

3. He Can’t Make Up His Mind
I have a friend who for years kept dating wishy-washy guys who would tell her they liked her, but they weren’t sure if they liked her enough . . . so they strung her along while they dated other people to “figure things out.” Um, No. Unless you’re really excited to date other people, too, you should never be put “on hold” for a dude as his back-up plan. That’s just embarrassing when you really think about it, and it makes you feel bad about yourself, too. You’re better than that. Ditch this toxic relationship quick!

4. He Gets Mad When You Tell Him You’re Hurt Or Upset
In every relationship (even great ones) it’s normal for someone to hurt the other person’s feelings unintentionally once in a while. The best way to fix problems like that is communication, but if you’ve tried to calmly explain to your guy that something he does hurts you or upsets you, and he just lashes out? Woah boy. You’ve got a really toxic relationship on your hands. You are a human being with real feelings that count. If he won’t hear them, he doesn’t deserve to be with you.

5. He Has To Have His Way Every Time
You never saw action movies before you met him–now they’re all you see. You used to be really into hip hop, but now you only listen to indie rock, because that’s his thing. Oh, and he didn’t like that you were a vegetarian, so you’re back to burgers even though you feel pretty bad about it sometimes. If any of that sounds anything like you STEP AWAY from this relationship! It’s great to explore his interests with him, but he should do the same for you. If your friends are accusing you of totally changing for this dude, you probably have. And that’s a sign you’re in a majorly toxic relationship. Get rid of him and try to figure out what you really like again!

Do you know anybody in a toxic relationship? Have you ever been in one? Tell me about it and if I missed any other signs of a toxic relationship in the comments!

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  • angela

    another toxic relationship . would be is when you do everything wrong in it. and history has a pattern . unless someone goes and get help for their issues they will never change . I know this . and most of the time if you are in a bad relationship it does only get worse in it

  • Caitlyn

    @LittleRedWolfGirl, I used to be in a relationship like that and it totally ruined my trust with people until just this week, actually. It took over 6 months to finally get over that 2 year Hell. We were on and off constantly. But, I found someone new, and things are so much better. 🙂

  • DaniGirl15

    Wow…. i can’t believe what i let him do to me…. my toxic relationship ended horribly….. at the beginning he told me how much he wanted to be with me and how much he thought i was so perfect… within the middle, it was doing everything he wanted, when i wanted to do something, he told me “no that’s stupid” and we were back to him. Anytime i had something going on, he wanted to hang, i’d give up my night for him… and he wouldn’t do Sh*t for me…. Toxic?? it gets worse… the day he dumped me… he told me “i still wanna be friends and hang out and see eachother i just don’t wanna be called “your boyfriend” anymore…. OUCH…. i finally freaked on him for everything and haven’t heard from him since….. 🙁

  • Amanda

    Couldn’t it go the other way too? You could be the one who is making it toxic not your partner.

  • LittleRedWolfGirl

    I used to have a friend who was (and I’m assuming still is) in an incredibly toxic, hurtful relationship. He did several of the things above, especially blaming his issues on her and getting mad whenever she was upset or hurt. They broke up, got back together, still had some problems, and so many people could see what a slime bag he is, but as far as I know she’s still with him.