Getting Revenge On An Ex? So Not Worth It

When I was in high school, I was obsessed with getting revenge on the people who hurt me. I watched a lot of movies and TV and read a lot of books, okay? In those fictional worlds, the main characters always had some elaborate, fabulous revenge plan that usually worked out perfectly, making them look like a total badass… while their ex looked like a total loser. I wanted to look like a total badass too!

Unfortunately, revenge doesn’t always work that way in real life. Also, I’m the opposite of a total badass. I’m 5 feet tall and I’m still afraid of the dark. So when I attempted what I thought was a movie-worthy revenge plan, I ended up just looking, well… kind of pathetic.

When I was 14, I dumped my boyfriend because I had a crush on someone else and didn’t want to be tied down. Sometime in the month after we broke up, I decided that I hated my ex because he was acting like a total jerk to me. Which, I can now admit, I kind of deserved – I did get my BFF to dump him for me, after all. But in my 14-year-old brain, his nasty comments were totally unjustified and the only way to fix the situation was to get revenge. I finally had a legitimate reason to get back at someone, and I was excited.

I knew that my ex’s best friend had a little crush on me. I also knew that my ex had always been jealous of his BFF, and if I hooked up with him, it would drive my ex insane. When the thought of using his BFF as a way to get revenge first crossed my mind, I figured it would never actually happen… I was way too shy to approach his BFF, a dude we’ll call R, on my own.

But then the opportunity presented itself all on it’s own. One night, my BFF was over when R and his friend called to say they were coming over. We met them in my backyard and after a little while, R asked me to go on a walk with him. A few minutes into our “walk” (which lasted to the end of my driveway), R pulled me towards him and tried to make a move. At first, I got nervous and resisted. I knew that if my ex found out what I had done, he would be furious… and really, really hurt. The other issue? I honestly didn’t even think R was cute… at all. Why was I going to kiss him just to teach my ex a lesson?

Not worth it! | Source:

A minute later, all of those more logical thoughts flew out the window, and I let R kiss me. All we did was make out for a few minutes in my driveway, but when it was all over, I felt exhilarated, nervous… and mainly really, really guilty. Suddenly, the thought of my ex’s face when he found out what we had done crossed my mind – and I felt a little sick. I made R swear not to tell anyone and he promised he wouldn’t, claiming he didn’t want my ex to find out anymore than I did.

Unfortunately, 14-year-old boys don’t always keep their promises. By the next afternoon, I had several hate emails in my inbox – a few from my ex, one from his girl BFF threatening me, one from R’s ex threatening me, and one from one of my friends who apparently had a crush on R, asking me what my problem was. I had the overwhelming urge to turn back time and erase my kiss with R. For one thing, it wasn’t even good – thinking about it grossed me out. For another thing, I felt awful. This wasn’t the kind of girl I was! I didn’t hurt people purposely. I was disgusted with myself. 

A few months later, my ex and I ended up getting back together. And while things ended up okay, he never let me forget about my kiss with R. He brought it up in every fight we had, and never failed to let me know that it had entirely changed the way he looked at me.

Looking back, that kiss might be one of the only things I regret doing in my life. It might not seem like a big deal to some people, but for me, it was. My reputation of being a super sweet girl who wouldn’t hurt a fly was sort of destroyed – everyone knew I had only kissed R to piss off my ex. And I felt super guilty for a long time. While this might sound corny, I know realize that the best revenge is moving on and showing your ex (or whoever) that you’re better off without them. Kissing my ex’s BFF only made it seem like I was looking for attention. So not worth it. 

Have you ever gotten revenge on anyone? Have you ever hooked up with someone just to make someone else mad? Would you ever do it? Do you think I was mean for what I did to my ex? Tell me in the comments.


5 reasons to not get revenge on your ex

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Posted in: Beliefs
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  • quitiepye

    I understand your pain, something happened to me that made me want to get revenge on my BF. At summer camp, i was dating this one guy for a few weeks. One week there was this overnight fieldtrip somewhere that a bunch of camps went to and that lasted a week. I didnt go but he did. The week that everyone came back, everyone raced up to me and told me that at the fieldtrip, my BF cheated on me, even his BFF. He was th only one that denied it . I didnt know what to do, i was so pissed and i didnt know what to believe. FRom then on i started flirting with ither guys including his BFF that liked me. But in the end he did get hurt but it didnt make me feel better. It made me feel like i was giving myself away. I understand why you did what you did but im glad you understood it was wrong.