I heart Halloween not only for the candy (although that’s about 90% of it) but because I get to try on different personalities. And, as we all know, different personas have different outlooks on telling the truth, now don’t they? Have any of these little lies passed your lips on Oct 31?
Sexy vs. Funny Costumes
She said: Welllll I’m still deciding between sexy firefighter and Kim Kardashian.
She meant: It depends on how many times I can get my butt to the gym between now and Oct. 29. If I don’t lay off the candy corn, then I’m curvy Kim K. all the way baby!
Calling Dibs on a Costume
She said: OMG Julie are you serious?! I said I was going as Taylor Swift–you knew I just blew $200 on those rhinestone cowboy boots! Ugh!
She meant: I obviously only wanted to go as Tay so I could serenade my ex with “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”
When Your Parents Try to Help
She said: Aww Daddy that’s sweet, but um, I’m not sure going as a head-on-a-plate would be as funny now as it was in third grade. Thanks anyway though.
She meant: To this day, Mark Lederberg still calls me Pot Roast Face.
To Your Boyfriend
She said: Honeyyyy, come onnnnnnn. Going as Justin and Selena would be hilarious! I’ll get everything, all you have to do is show up and put the costume on!
She meant: Oh did I forget to mention that I’m going as The Biebs and you’ll be Selena? Hey, I can’t help having all this natural swagger.
To Your Crush
She said: Ha ha you totally should go as Ryan Lochte! What to wear? Hm…probably just a swim cap and Speedo. I mean, people won’t get it if you’re fully clothed, right?
She meant: Hey, guys get to ogle half-dressed girls all night–how about something for the ladies?!
Regretting Your Lack of Planning
She said: What am I? Um HELLO, I’m dressed in all red–clearly I’m Burning Man! Yes I know that Burning Man is an event not a person but, I mean, red, burning–get it?!
She meant: Ugh. Next time, don’t wait until 5pm the day of the Halloween dance to think of a costume!
What is your Halloween costume this year? Tell us in the comments!