I’m not going to lie, I’m not the best person to ask about how to be outgoing. In kindergarten, I talked so little that my teacher gently suggested to my mom that I may be in need of special education. In high school, I won Most Shy my senior year. Now, after college, I feel like I’ve finally figured out how to be a teensy bit more outgoing.
So I can totally understand when this reader asks: How can I be more outgoing? Being friendly and talkative can be harder than you think! Here at Gurl, we wanted to see what kind of tips you guys would give a girl looking to be a little more outgoing. Check out what everyone had to say, then add your own words of wisdom in the comments.
I have always been that little innocent shy and quiet girl at school. Although I have gotten a lot better with my shyness, I feel like it’s a struggle that keeps me from doing what I really want to do. Now that I am about to be a junior in high school, I really want to feel like I’ve made something of my high school years. I’m tired of feeling left out! I don’t want to feel awkward anymore or feel like I bore people. I know when I am around close friends and family I am really silly, playful, and funny! All that I am saying is that I want to be more outgoing and get to know more people and get out of my comfort zone. I don’t want to feel lonely and have nothing to do on the weekends. Does anyone have any tips on what I can do?
I think in order to fight shyness, you can’t be scared of doing something wrong, people hating you, etc. Until this year, I was really shy to the point of being almost antisocial. But then I stopped caring about everything and was confident in myself. That probably made me be able to be myself in public. I guess try confidence and not being scared. Talk to people, start convos, find common interests among people you know.
Stop identifying yourself as “that little innocent shy and quiet girl at school.” You’re letting that hold you back. Try taking an acting class? It might be absolutely terrifying at first, but as a formerly shy girl myself: trust me. You’ll lose that very quickly when you’re on stage. And really–has any ever flat out said to you that you bore them? I doubt it.
When you identify yourself as someone who is shy and quiet and boring, you’ll pretty much go out of your way to make yourself that way. Your body language will scream it! So think of yourself as the person that you are when you’re with friends. It doesn’t sound like you doubt that you’re funny and playful when you’re with them.
These girls hit the nail on the head – I couldn’t have said it better myself. Feeling shy stems from some sort of insecurity, so the best way to become more outgoing is to gain a little confidence. Don’t think of yourself as the quiet girl – think of yourself as the awesome girl you are. And don’t worry about what anyone else thinks of you. Always be yourself and let your true personality shine through.
And keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with being a little quiet. We can’t all be social butterflies or this world would be a very loud and complicated place. If you don’t always want to put yourself out there, you don’t have to – but it’s important to give it a shot sometimes.
What are your tips on being more outgoing? Do you ever feel like the shy girl? Who do you agree with the most? Tell us in the comments!