Taylor Swift has always taken her vitriol out on her exes–Joe Jonas, John Mayer, and now Jake Gyllenhaal–in her songs, and her album Red is no different.

In a new interview, Taylor explains that “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is “a definitive portrait of how I felt when I finally stopped caring what my ex thought of me.” But did she really stop caring if she, you know, wrote a song about it? She explained that she still needed to get back at a guy who “made me feel like I wasn’t as good or as relevant as these hipster bands he listened to,” she said. “So I made a song that I knew would absolutely drive him crazy when he heard it on the radio. Not only would it hopefully be played a lot, so that he’d have to hear it, but it’s the opposite of the kind of music that he was trying to make me feel inferior to.” Taylor, remember how Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”? Remember it!

Taylor’s right–it does get played a lot. A lot. but if he likes hipster bands, chances are he’s not into the radio stations that play her songs anyway. So why bother dwelling on an ex and talking smack about them? Taylor said simply, “Because that’s fun.”

To be fair, it sounds like this dude (cough, Jake, cough) really did a number on her. She wrote her song “All Too Well” two years ago when she was pretty fragile. “There’s a kind of bad that gets so overpowering you can’t even write about it,” Taylor said of her post-split state (she didn’t say who, but do the math). “When you feel pain that is so far past dysfunctional, that leaves you with so many emotions that you can’t filter them down to simple emotions to write about, that’s when you know you really need to get out.”

But aside from writing songs that break records, Taylor Swift finally mastered the real art of revenge: Living well and moving on. It’s a lesson we can all learn: Letting yourself be happy feels a lot better than feeling resentful, and chances are your ex has moved on, too. “I can say I’d honestly rather be happy than have 30 to 40 songs that I’ve written about these thrilling, exciting, horrible, unhappy times,” Taylor admitted. “I know red flags, and I steer away from them, because I have a priority on being happy. At some point, you grow out of being attracted to that flame that burns you over and over and over again. Thankfully, I hadn’t learned that lesson yet when I wrote this record.”

We’re thankful for that, too. If only because Taylor Swift writes some of the best breakup songs in the biz!

Do you agree with Taylor Swift about getting back at your exes or do you think it’s better to move on? What’s your favorite Taylor Swift song? Are you looking forward to Taylor Swift’s Red? Tell us in the comments!

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