What You’re Really Thinking At The Halloween Store


There are only a few occasions in life when your choice of outfit seriously matters–prom, your wedding day, and of course, Halloween. Sure sure, H-ween comes around every year, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t seriously consider your costume. Read on for some of the little white lies we tell ourselves–and others–when it comes to shopping for the perfect disguise!



To Your Friend:


She said: I don’t want to go as something super cliche like a ghost or mummy or Kim Kardashian–I want to be something that NO ONE ELSE is going to be!








She meant: Gangam style, bitches! Yessssss yes yes yes yes yes.











To the Store Clerk:


She said: Oh you’re out of green tuxedo jackets? They sold out the first day you were open? Hm…








She meant: I am not just a cliche…I am THE BIGGEST CLICHE, apparently. I mean gawd why don’t I just go as a witch?











Looking at Pre-Packaged Costumes


She said: Umm OK do you think I’m a small? Or a medium?











She meant: I’m clearly a medium and I’m clearly getting a small. Because my boobs are clearly taking center stage on Oct. 31!











Browing Through the Funny Costumes


She said: Oh I know right, who would go as Mr. T? Like, why would you want to look ugly??











She meant: Ugh I so wish I could do this. I pity the fool who isn’t ballsy enough to dress at B.A. Baracus for Halloween 🙁











On the Super Skanky Costumes


She said: Dude, seriously, I’d so much rather be fugly Mr. T than desperate-for-attention slutty Alice in Wonderland. I’ve seen eye patches with more fabric than these costumes have.








She meant: God I wish I had the abs for this costume.











Talking Your Friend Out of a Halloween Mistake


She meant: Snooki? Umm…yesssss, you could do that. Isn’t your crush going to be on this party? Yeahhhhh.











She said: You would literally look hotter in a hefty bag with a hole cut in the top. At least then people wouldn’t keep asking you to “smush” all night long.









Have you already been to the Halloween store this year? Are you going to make your own costume or buy one? Tell us in the comments!

Read This Before You Finalize Your Halloween Costume, Girls!

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Posted in: For Laughs
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  • Anonymous

    Stupidest blog ever