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From Amanda’s YouTube video, posted September 7.
Evil, horrible, stupid people–scratch that, I don’t want to call them people, because I believe people are inherently good–have combined images of this girl, this dead girl, with “jokes” about how she “showed her tits” or calling her a “whore.” Slut-shaming words. Hateful words. On the photo of a dead little girl. What the eff is wrong with people?
I didn’t know Amanda, but what I’ve read about her and seen about of her in her YouTube video tell me a couple of things.
1. Amanda Todd was a child of only 15 when she died last week. (Yes, I know some of you are 15 and thinking, “I’m not a child!,” but you are. You’re an adolescent or teen child, but you’re still a child. Sorry, I know I sound like your mom, but I’m pissed right now.)
2. Amanda Todd was only roughly TWELVE when she flashed the creepy perv who then spent the next few years harassing her. She was a little girl. This adult man was a sexual predator preying on a little girl. He is a pedophile. She was a child. He told her she was pretty. It’s understandable (yet obviously regrettable) on her side. Not understandable, nor excusable in any way on his.
3. Amanda Todd seemed pretty freaking lost. I’ve known too many girls who were sexually exploited at young ages (one would be too many, but I’ve definitely known more than one), and let’s just say that a lot of them later made choices in emotional and sexual relationships that they wouldn’t have made otherwise, just because they desperately needed to feel wanted. Many girls who live through sexual abuse later become more “promiscuous” because they feel that giving or showing their body is the only way they will be loved. Then these girls are blamed and slut-shamed for those mistakes on top of everything else. It’s a nasty, dirty cycle, and it’s more reason why we need to create better systems to support victims and help them start over. And um, the slut-shaming? It has never been tolerated here on Gurl, and it should not be tolerated anywhere.
Growing up and dealing with sexuality is hard and really freaking confusing. From the time a girl is in elementary school, she’s taught to be sexy. I mean, this is just one example, but think about it: It’s not just women’s Halloween costumes that are labeled as “sexy” this or “sexy” that, it’s little girls’ costumes, too. So, society feeds little girls this message of needing to be sexy, and then we’re shocked and angry when one of these girls agrees to flash her breasts? It’s hypocritical.
Obviously, whomever first asked for Amanda Todd to expose herself is a criminal and deserves to be punished fully. Anonymous, an online hacking group, has identified a 32-year-old man named Kody Maxson, who they believe was Amanda’s online harasser. The evidence they have is pretty damning, but we still don’t know for sure if it was him.
That said, knowing who started this spiral won’t bring Amanda back. What we need to keep more tragedies like this from happening are two things:
1. Information
Society is so freaking screwed up. I’d like to say “Let’s fix it!” but it’s a huge, huge project and even though I think teaching men and boys to not be terrible people (most already aren’t, but still) is obviously the best answer–it’s not going to happen tomorrow. In the meantime, little girls need to be armed with facts. Facts about their bodies. Facts about healthy sexual expression. Facts about what’s legal, what’s not. And yes, facts about abuse. And this has to start from a way earlier age. With early puberty becoming more and more common, little girls are starting to look more like “women” earlier, which makes them more vulnerable for sexual abuse. We have to educate girls early and teach them to respect their bodies and demand that respect from others.
2. Compassion
You might know it, you might not, but chances are that you know someone who’s been sexually abused in some way. The current stats are that one in three women and girls have been abused. One. In. Three. Look around at your friend group. Hell, look at your mom. Look at your mom’s friends. Look at that girl at school who everyone whispers about. It’s normal and healthy to start exploring sexuality as a teenager–plus, you don’t know why people do the things they do, and it’s not up to you to judge them. Your life is determined by your decisions, and that includes not just whether or not you would expose your breasts or have sex with someone else’s boyfriend–but also how you judge people who do things differently than you would. Yes, people make mistakes, and you don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but nobody deserves to be physically or emotionally tormented over their sexual decisions.
Watch the video Amanda posted to YouTube on September 7th here:
I could write a lot more about this, but I’m not going to, because really what I want is to hear what you guys think. We’ve already got quite a conversation going about Amanda Todd in our message boards, but let’s keep the conversation going here in the comments. And if you’re thinking about hurting yourself, please call a professional resource like National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or one of the other resources on our Help & Resource Page.
Can You Trust Him?
This made me wanna cry. It sucks that this kind of stuff happens all the time, no one deserves this kind of treatment. What’s really crazy is the fact that t know her, she just wouldn’t leave her alone after moving cities. Cyber bullies are the biggest punks and they didn’t even know her, she was probably awesome but she was never given a chance. If anything bullies anger me more than anything else in this world. RIP Amanda Todd. May your soul find peace in heaven.
Amanda actually didn’t live far from me (and Yes, I’m Canadian, whatevs) and this was all over the radio, news and shit for weeks. Even on Facebook, a page I liked shared the naked pics of her. I immediately reported it and unliked the page, like any other person would do. i Hate that there are bitches out there that don’t give a shit. Seriously, If you don’t like her, don’t talk about her. I hate today’s society, it’s sad :/
Now I’m scared to go to high school, and that’s in three years….
I’m going to be in my last year of high school next year and trust me you’ll be fine
Don’t be scared to go. You may be freaked out and shy the first few weeks but after that you’ll be fine! 
Just don’t worry about what other people say about you because they obviously have some problems with themselves.
Everyone has a mistake in their life and NO ONE should be treated like she did because of her mistakes.
It’s so sad. and many other kids are going through the same things throughout the world. I want to know why kids bully other kids. It’s not fun. I’ve been there. but it stopped when I left elementary school. I hated being bullied. You don’t feel good enough for anyone in the world. You turn to your parents and they say to ignore them. But how do you ignore them when the bullies come right up to your face and yell vulgarities at you? I don’t think that these kids should die. I think they should rise up together and be strong. because they should be the ones who win the fight against bullies. It’s not the parents, it’s not the principals or the deans. (they can only stop the bullying publicly). it’s the children and teens themselves. Bullying doesn’t give you a reason to kill yourself. If you do, they’re just gonna find themselves another target and your death would have been in vain. rise up and stomp on whoever wronged you. don’t let them win.
i started crying to Amanda todd story
So Sad, made me tear up. Hope fully she has found peace where ever she is now.
#RIP AMANDA TODD THIS IS EXTREMELY SAD GONE BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN SOMETHING HS TO CHANGE SERIOUSLY THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE ! NOBODY SHOULD BE TREATED THAT WAY I WISH I HAD KNOWN HER I WOULD HAVE BEEN THE FRIEND SHE NEEDED I WOULD OF NEVER JUDGED HER THE WAY OTHERS DID
People in my school are really mean about it. They say thing like she deserved it because she put her business out there, and that she knew what she was getting into. They’ve even made fun of her other suicide attempts by saying things like “How do you fail at trying to kill yourself? and “At first you don’t succeed try try again until you die.” Like really? Who does that? They say she was a dumb slut who deserved to die. She was someone’s friend who died. How would they feel if one of their friends died and I said they deserved to it for being a slut (I’d probably get beaten for saying that since all the kids in my school are ghetto fabulous and I’m a mere nerd). NO ONE and I mean NO ONE DESERVES TO DIE, no matter what the circumstance is/was. People are just ignorant.
This… Breaks my heart. Bullying is just horrible. When I was in highschool, I was instantly a target. I don’t know why, but some girls came up to me at after lunch. I had always been the kind of girl who likes to talk with guys and stuff. I guess I had been joking around with one of their boyfriends. They told me stay away from him, and I told them I would. A few days later,(I had found some old friends) the same guy was assigned to be my English partner. Just my luck. We where hanging out in study hall working on a project, and the warning bell rung. The project was due on monday, and since it was friday he asked me if he wanted to come over to work on it at his house on saturday. Having no other choice, I said okay and we exchanged cells. I met at his house the next day, and while we worked on the project, his girlfriend called his house. He calmly told her he was at house with ME. He didn’t even mention having to work on a project. The girlfriend hissed something about not messing around. Apparently someone had been spreading some rumors about me and the guy hooking up, and a few months later she met me after school the next day with 3 other people, with a FREAKING BASEBALL BAT. The girls chased me into a alley,(We lived in the city) and hit me in the chest so I was rasping for breath. They proceeded to call me some cuss words, putting down the baseball bat. I know this is kind of insane, but I then grabbed the baseball bat, and hit the main girl right in the chest and screamed, “I DID NOT F*CK WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, SO STOP YOUR B*TCH*NG NONSENSE!” I chased her for a while no one EVER bothered me again.
You are awesome.
OH MY GOD I think I am seriously in love with you.
That’s so sad!
This is so sad. She made some bad choices but no one deserves anything like this. It’s hard for me to believe people can be so cruel. Even if I absolutely hated someone I would never say the things these kids did. She showed her boobs, so what? Who is that hurting besides herself? People just need to mind their own business. I’m so sorry for the Todd family’s loss and may Amanda rest in peace.