My boyfriend left his iPad at my house the other day. I didn’t plan on looking through it, but then I kind of did. When I looked at his Facebook, I saw the name of a girl that I know likes him in his recent history. Even though he swore to me that he doesn’t like her, it hurt me to see that he was even looking at her profile! Should I confront him? Should I tell him I looked through his stuff? I don’t know what to do!
This is exactly why going through your guy’s stuff is no bueno. When we do it, we find things that we never wanted to find. And sometimes we find things that we don’t really know the meaning of. Those things end up stressing us out and could start a huge fight. I’m not blaming you for going through your BF’s stuff, because it happens to even the best girlfriends. I’m just saying you should probably avoid it in the future.
Now you just need to figure out how to deal with what you found.
I know that you’re feeling super confused as to why he was looking at this girl’s Facebook, but don’t jump to conclusions. Looking at someone’s profile hardly means they’re cheating or betraying you – it’s just looking, and you can’t stop your BF from being curious. If there were super flirty messages between them on there, then I’d say you have something to be worried about. But for now, it doesn’t seem like you do – it’s even possible that him glancing at her page was a total accident.
I don’t usually condone lying to a boyfriend, but unless he confronts you about this, I’d say that for now there’s no reason to spill the beans on what you did. Why? Well, like I said, the whole situation could be totally innocent, and then you’re just going to feel sort of silly once you tell him. It’s also probably going to start a big fight. Your BF is probably going to be pretty annoyed that you went through his private stuff without asking – and can you really blame him for that? He’s also going to feel hurt that you didn’t trust him enough to look through his stuff in the first place.
If you really want to come clean because you feel like it’s the right thing to do, then just tell him the truth: that you looked through his iPad. Explain that you feel really guilty about it and assure him it won’t happen again. But if you just want to tell him to confront him about this girl, like I said, it may not be worth it.
However, you definitely shouldn’t go through his stuff again. I know it can be tempting, but your BF’s Facebook is private – it’s not right for you to look through it uninvited. If you’re really concerned about what he’s doing behind your back, then you should talk to him about it. Snooping is never going to help. It’s only going to make you more paranoid and lead to a lot of tension.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org