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Is there any evidence that guys respect girls more when sex is put off?
I don’t know of any reliable research on whether or not guys respect girls more when sex is delayed. In general though, guys and girls are more likely to respect themselves and their partners when they each speak up for what they want and what they don’t want, sex included.
We often jump to the conclusion that all guys want to have sex without even asking them how they feel. The fact is that there are just as many guys out there as there are girls who feel nervous, fearful and who would prefer to wait on sex than we might realize. There is a feeling in our culture now that once you’ve openly identified that you’re romantically interested in someone, this means that you have sex with them soon after. My professional experience has taught me that this isn’t always the case or the best plan.
Sex complicates things. Sometimes, after a month or so of dating you might decide that they simply aren’t who you thought they were and your interest isn’t there anymore. If you have already had sex with them, this is much harder to manage than if sex hadn’t been part of the relationship in the first place. Once you make the decision to have sex with someone, the stakes for attachment, a broken heart, complicated misunderstandings and maybe a lost friendship are much higher.
I think there’s a lot to be said for being super sure of your decision to have sex before you do it. And if you’re wondering whether the guy is going to respect you or not, it’s sounding like you’re not quite sure yet. So, why not wait until you are?
Do you think guys lose respect for girls they sleep with? Do you speak up for yourself between the sheets? Let me know in the comments.