Will He Respect Me More If I Make Him Wait For Sex?

First, sweet sheets. Second, are you speaking up for yourself? | Source: ShutterStock

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Is there any evidence that guys respect girls more when sex is put off?

ChickRx expert Evelyn Resh, Certified Sexuality Counselor and Nurse Midwife says…

I don’t know of any reliable research on whether or not guys respect girls more when sex is delayed. In general though, guys and girls are more likely to respect themselves and their partners when they each speak up for what they want and what they don’t want, sex included.

We often jump to the conclusion that all guys want to have sex without even asking them how they feel. The fact is that there are just as many guys out there as there are girls who feel nervous, fearful and who would prefer to wait on sex than we might realize. There is a feeling in our culture now that once you’ve openly identified that you’re romantically interested in someone, this means that you have sex with them soon after. My professional experience has taught me that this isn’t always the case or the best plan.

Sex complicates things. Sometimes, after a month or so of dating you might decide that they simply aren’t who you thought they were and your interest isn’t there anymore. If you have already had sex with them, this is much harder to manage than if sex hadn’t been part of the relationship in the first place. Once you make the decision to have sex with someone, the stakes for attachment, a broken heart, complicated misunderstandings and maybe a lost friendship are much higher.

I think there’s a lot to be said for being super sure of your decision to have sex before you do it. And if you’re wondering whether the guy is going to respect you or not, it’s sounding like you’re not quite sure yet. So, why not wait until you are?

Do you think guys lose respect for girls they sleep with? Do you speak up for yourself between the sheets? Let me know in the comments.

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  • theenlightenedone

    Since I was 12 I have had only older boyfriends. I have never had guys my age as boyfriends. My sexual debut was with a guy who was 24 and it happened the first time I met him. None of my boyfriends have disrespected me or have I felt disrespected when I have had sex on the first date. Being young we do it when opportunities spring up. To me those opportunities are not worth losing and sex is fun and really enjoyable.

  • NoRegretsGurl

    I lost my V-Card to the first guy I met. It was my first date and this was more than 2 years ago. I am still with the same guy and he respects me a lot and cares for me. Even tho’ I am a lot younger than he is, he thinks I am mature and he wants to continue dating me. It sucks because of the age difference and my age that we cant be seen together. 🙁

  • Carley

    It’s Carley again I meant 17 I would hope all 7 year olds still had thier vCard

  • Carley

    I think it would make the relationship better I have plenty of friends that did it like a month after getting together and they got married……. I still have my vCard and am 7 years old haha well until tomorrow

  • Pay

    Well my best guy friend were tlkn nd we wer jst tlkn nd he brought up the subject bout me nd him havin sex. he said tht we wanted to do me nd im lik idk nd he ssad tht if we did he wud nvr bother me again nd i dnt want tht to happen so i think tht they will lose respect 4 u if u do right away

  • CityGIRL

    The man I’m with now, he’s older than me, and I wanted to have sex on our first date. We met up for dinner in this really nice restaurant and had a long conversation about almost anything. During dinner, you could tell there was some sexual tension and you could tell we both wanted it. That night he treated me like a lady – held doors open, pulled out my chair, actually listened when I spoke. We didn’t do anything that night because I was on my period, but I slept over anyways. The next night we went out again, and had dinner. He was still a gentleman and very respectful. We had sex that night, even though its more conventional to wait a few more dates.
    I don’t regret it whatsoever, he still treats me better than any other man I’ve been on a date with. He’s very respectful and we have a great time together. In my opinion, its different for everyone and for different relationships. For some people, maybe its better that they wait, and for others it may be that sex early on works great for them. To each his own 😉

  • Abby

    I think you should have sex when you’re ready. It doesn’t matter if that’s one week into the relationship or three years. My current boyfriend and I actually had sex the night we hung out. We were drinking, and the next morning I woke up horrified because I thought he wouldn’t take me seriously anymore. But guess what? The following night he took me on a proper date, and it was the best one I’ve ever been on. He treats me with more respect than any boy has and we’ve been happily together for fourteen months! 🙂

  • Celeste

    🙂 Me and my boyfriend had sex very early in our relationship, (i took his v-card) haha it didnt really effect us much…for some reason it kinda made our relationship last allot longer than i expected. We are very open to each other though….which i think matters allot in relationships. 4months n going<3

  • Lolly

    Guys lose respect for girls they sleep with… if they’re jerks. If you have good reason to believe that someone will lose respect for you if you sleep with them, why are you even seeing that person? You can’t fix the situation by ‘making’ someone wait for sex. That just puts all the pressure on you to be responsible for the respect someone else gives you. I’m not even talking admiration here. I’m talking basic respect as a human being.