Sometimes I see guys scratching their private area, or touching their members in public. What is that all about?
Grossed Out by Guys
Guys certainly do have a reputation for grabbing themselves with frequency…but that’s only because it’s true. While I can’t quite defend the act, perhaps I can shed a bit of light on why we do it.
First of all, holding our Mini-Me’s is a comfort thing – the strangely reassuring act makes us feel safe. Whether deliberately or subconsciously, a less secure guy may do it in public to assert his manhood, especially in the presence of women.
It can also, of course, be pleasurable—and not just sexually. Although the testes work best at temperatures lower than that of the core body (95-96.8 degrees Fahrenheit as opposed to 98.6), our genitals often feel like the warmest parts of our body because they are generally the most concealed. Regardless of the weather, our meat and potatoes always have underwear and two thighs keeping them cozy at all times, so we’re naturally attracted to this area from when we’re very young.
Finally, the most common reason is that, well…things can get messy down there. Ladies have their own share of womanly obstacles, but imagine having an immobile slab of flesh between your legs that can get itchy, sweaty, sticky, and bent in all types of uncomfortable ways. And don’t even get me started on testicles…
Perhaps breasts – also annoyingly external – are the body parts most analagous to a penis on a woman. Any girl who’s worn a bra knows how irritating boobs can get, especially on a hot day. Plus, I’m sure you’ve scratched your own privates at some time or another – even vajayjays need a little attention now and then.
So the next time you witness a guy sneaking a grab or a pinch out in the open, try to look the other way and pretend you didn’t see. However, if he’s grabbing on purpose or with utter abandon, you have my permission to slap that hand and scold him like a bad puppy.
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.