My Crush Is Thin And I’m Not. Would It Be Weird If We Dated?

weight difference

You can barely even notice their weight difference! | Source: ShutterStock

Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about weight differences in a relationship:

fantastique wrote:

I really like this boy. He took me to homecoming. We cuddled all night and I’m seriously into him. But the problem is, he’s barely taller than me and he is SO thin. Like, very, very thin. He’s all muscle, but he’s just so SMALL. And I am not… I’m 5’8 and 145 pounds and I’ve heard him say he’s only 125 pounds. I feel like if we dated, I would feel so fat around him all the time. I already do!

So what I’m getting to is: Is this too weird? Is it totally wrong of me to dismiss him simply because of our size difference? Am I being too self-loathing in assuming he’ll secretly think I’m fat but won’t say anything, or am I underestimating how sweet he really is? 

I need some advice… what would you do?

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Tell her what you would do if you were in her situation.

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.


Ask A Guy: Are dudes really as shallow as we think they are?

You should follow Gurl on Twitter

Posted in: Boards, Discuss
Tags: , , ,
  • Rei

    If you’re comfortable with your weight then I don’t think it should matter.

    Also: you guys went to homecoming together! He danced with you! You cuddled! Obviously he doesn’t mind that your slightly bigger than he is. There is just more of you to love.

    But if you’re still insecure about it, tell him. Maybe he can say or do something to reassure you that us people in the comment section can’t.

    Either way Girlie: you have to love who you are. All of who you are. Or at least like. Before you can ever love anybody else. If he knows that you love yourself, then it’ll only be that much easier for him to love you too.

    Good luck.

    • Lizzy

      i agree with rei. if he doesnt mind why should you? besides, the only people who would care are the people you shouldnt bother pleasing or even thinking about!

  • Tiera

    I’m a bigger girl, and my last boyfriend was a lot smaller. There were times I thought it would be awkward, but we were together for four years and it was never an issue. We both loved our bodies and each other’s 🙂

  • Ivy1221

    As long as you’re comfortable with your body, it really shouldn’t matter. My bf is an inch or so shorter than me, and about 80lbs lighter than me. He’s underweight, and I’m overweight, and he actually prefers larger girls (his ex was a lot heavier than me). If you’re happy it shouldn’t make a difference.

  • MiissPandax3

    My boyfriend is really thin and I weigh more than him but he loves me for who I am. He loves my body and even loves when i’m on top of him. In the beginning I felt a little uncomfortable around him, but I realized if he didn’t love me for who I am, he wouldn’t be with me.

  • Windex

    There’s a lot of big guys with thin women, and that’s alright. Why should your common situation be any different?

  • GynecologistGuy

    I’m a thin, THIN guy (not to boast) but i loved having a girlfriend that well was on the heavy end, she was the nicest girl i ever cuddled she made me feel all warm always, this guy would be privileged to date you not the other way round 🙂

  • V

    I felt the same way when my boyfriend and i started going out, he’s a marine and he is all muscle, he’s not super tall, but he’s more toned than me. I’m 5’8″ and around 140 lbs and i felt like he would judge me because i am heavier than him. Truth is: I’m a HEALTHY weight for my height and when i spoke about it with him, he told me he LOVES my body just the way it is. CURVY is SEXY……it would be kinda uncomfortable to cuddle with a skeleton 😛
    accept yourself first, cause there is no such thing as an ‘ugly’ woman on earth (if she believes in herself without being a total b****) 😀

  • Lolly

    Like any other body difference, no it is not weird. You may, however, run into some assholes who think it is. I suggest stockpiling retorts and/or large sticks.

  • Rose

    Well first off I am SO jealous of your height(im not even 5’0 yet)! Second don’t worry about it its not abnormal and you don’t sound fat…you sound…normal weight for your height

  • Julia

    Girl, you are beautiful and SO NOT FAT!!!!!!! Go for it, and have a blast with the cutie. I’m sure that he loves you just the way you are!!! 145 is a perfectly healthy weight, btw!

  • XOjessi14

    Well does it really change the personalities? Both of you obviously hit it off! Honestly, I’m overweight and I’m sure if I sat on my boyfriend’s lap the poor thing would be crushed — HE’S SO SKINNY! But it doesn’t matter to me, because he makes me feel beautiful, skinny or not. Just take in the fact that looks don’t necassarily matter but the heart does! (: – Jess

  • Rochelle

    Honestly gurl, dont worry about it, if he likes you for you then its not a big deal. And plus theirs many relationships out there like yours… including mine :p

  • Cassidy

    I’m 5’4 and 160 pounds. I’m not even considered fat. You probably have the smallest bit of meat on your bones. It seems like he’s into you, so it shouldn’t matter.

  • amber

    What I would do? Date him, duh. Worrying about comparing HIS frame to YOUR frame is immature and damaging to a relationship. It’s not going to change instantly, so don’t think about that.

    Ask him how he feels about your difference after you date a while. If he don’t care, deal with it cause he likes you. If does care, why would he still be with you?

  • Bridget

    You’re into him, he’s into you…I don’t see the problem here. Take some advice from someone who’s older: Your life will become so much easier once you stop worrying about what others might think and just do what makes you happy,

  • Lacey

    Before my current boyfriend I was always dating guys skinnier than me. I always just enjoyed the way they looked. It was never a problem to them that I did weigh more. And seriously you’re not fat at all!! You’re a very healthy weight. A 20 pound difference really isn’t a big deal at all. And besides guys don’t stop going until they are in their 20’s!!

  • Lisa

    first of all 5’8″, 145 lbs is not fat. second, look around: there are MANY large woman/ skinny guy couples out there