How To Tell Your Parents You Have A Boyfriend

telling your parents you have a boyfriend

She probs just wants to see you happy! | Source: Shutterstock

You met somebody. Somehow through the magic of time and space, you like him and he likes you. Now, he’s your boyfriend. Whoo hoo!

All that’s left is for you to take things to the next step. No, we don’t mean THAT. We’re talking about meeting the parents. That’s right; he’s going to meet the beautiful weirdos who created you, but before you go THERE you’re going to have to tell them about him first. So how do you make this a positive experience and avoid freaking them out? Naturally, I’ve got some tips.

1. DO think about who to tell first.
You may be closer to one parent. If this is your first boyfriend (and they’ve said you’re too young to date) or some other situation that could be drama-filled, it helps to have an advocate on your side while you tell the other parent.

If there are no extenuating circumstances like, “Mom, he needs to stay here until his educational Visa comes through,” then telling the ‘rents together is ideal. This way, no one feels left out.

2. DON’T lead with the stuff they might see as negatives.
There’s something about him that may be an issue. It’s no biggie to you but it will be to your folks. Maybe he’s older or of a different religion or from another background. Cool, but don’t let that be your opening statement. Let them register that you have a boyfriend first. Then give them the caveats.

bad boyfriend picture

This is NOT the pic to show mom and dad! | Source: Shutterstock

3. DO have a photo ready.
Show them a pic of your new BF. A snapshot of him solo works just fine. It’ll help humanize the mystery guy so that they can stop imagining some scary dude stealing their li’l girl.

Note: A simple smiling shot of your cutie is best. Sexy selfies or pictures of the two of you hugged up can be saved for another time, like Neverary.

4. DON’T spring him on them.
Parents are not big on surprises where your romantic life is concerned. Trust your personal love coach on this one. Showing up with a random, unexpected guy has more potential for failure than success.

5. DO share what you know about him and his family.
Be polite without freaking out if they have a zillion questions. Remember, these people used to change your diapers. It’s natural for them to feel bittersweet about you growing up. They may still see you as their baby. Cut them some slack.

Now what?
Family dinners are a common first time meeting moment but can be very stressful. A great alternative is telling them that he’ll drop by to spend a short time on his way to somewhere. This way, there’s a built in out. An hour or two at most is a safe amount of time for a first visit.

Visualize the future: You love him, your parents love him and he didn’t even mind when your little brother kicked him in the shins. YAY. Really hoping this all goes super well for you!

Have you told your parents about a boyfriend? Was it weird? Was it hard? Tell us what happened in the comments!

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38 Comments

  1. avatarJulia says:

    I’m 15 yrs old and I met this guy over a year ago. we were classmates when we were sophomores. Now that we are both juniors, our relationship got pretty serious. I never tell my parents about this matter until now. I told them I like him and my mom kinda freaked while my dad had this unreadable expression on his face. my mom said that it is okay to like someone but i shouldn’t get into relationships first. the problem is, I’m already dating the guy for almost a month now and we would both like to tell our parents about it because we are sick of hiding. the problem with me is that I’m scared. and although these tips helped a lot, i still can’t find the courage to tell them because I’m too scared that they might get mad at me and take my phone away and ban me from seeing him…. my parents and I are close but not as close as we were when I was still in grade school and they are a bit strict…. what should I do because I’m really confused and frustrated right now.

  2. avatarKittyXxXx says:

    Hey, I am a 15 year old girl. My parents are Strict, and wont let me date. I am a very resonsible person. I do my chores and all they ask. I just really wish they would understand. I am in a LDR and my mom and dad are fully against it. me and him have known each other for a while and really like eachother. His parents are fine with it but mine aren’t He is only a month and 11 days older than me. How do I tell them? Help me please. and its his Birthday to day. happy birthday

  3. avatarJo says:

    My life struggle.

  4. avatarElsa says:

    Hey, Im 15 and I have a boyfriend who is 18. I met him at a dance at his school. My best friend thinks that it shouldn’t matter if he is older but he is really nice to me and treats me like a princess. We don’t see each other much but we text all the time and call each other, he is overprotective of me when it comes to me being around other guys but I don’t know how to tell my parents. My mom met him but doesn’t know how old he is or that he is my boyfriend and my dad just hates guys most the time. What should I do? I feel confused and his parents want to meet me and my parents but how do I tell them? Any suggestions?

  5. avatarBriBri says:

    Hey, I am 14 years old. I been recently talking to this guy and I really like him and he really likes me. We are going on a date in about a week but am really scared to tell my parents. I don’t want them to not approve. they would freak and most likely yell at me. So I really need help on how to tell my parents who are over protective about these things :(

    • avatarKathleen says:

      You should probably tell your parents before setting up dates. They may say that you can’t go, and then that creates a whole other awkward situation. Good luck!

  6. avatarMEM says:

    Hi, I’m 15 years old and I’ve been avoiding to tell my parents I’ve had a long distance relationship with a 16 year old boy for 2 months. My parents can be very (but not totally over) protective. The last time I had been in a relationship was four years ago, and it didn’t last long. I promised myself that I would wait for the right person. I found him over the PlayStation Network through his best friend’s cousin. I’ve know his friends’ family very well, and some for 3 years, even though they live 11 HOURS away from me by car. I don’t know how to tell my parents (and they are divorced) especially when me and my mom aren’t getting along too very well, and I am trying to have my dad get full custody of me. I love this boy, and he loves me. He always, always, is very sweet, understanding and respectable to me and I am the same to him. I do feel that I could have a future with him, but he’s so far away, my parents don’t know him, and they’ll flip if they find out I play video games with friends that far away. Please HELP!
    1. HOW do I tell them about him?
    2. SHOULD I tell them I met him over video games?
    3. OR should I tell a lie and say I met him in some other way??
    Thank You for putting up with my love story!!

  7. avatarterria says:

    I used to date this boy and we would txt then my mom found out and took my phone because she was Soo mad. Now there is this boy I have been friends with for over a year and I really like him . My mom knows the boy and everything.he even comes over to my house even goes places with us . But I still am scared to tell my mom . Because I already date the dude and I like him alot and I honesty don’t know what to say . To her about him

  8. avatarKaileighx says:

    Thanks so much, but this is want I don’t understand, why do we even have to tell them! I know that we shouldn’t keep secrets from your parents. I really just want to be with him, he sticks up for me, opens the door for me and makes me feel like i’m the only princess in his life. The boy is 1 month older than me and understands when I talk to him. My grades are looking good and they have been getting better as I’ve been with him. I don’t know how to tell my dad (any ideas?) and I really don’t want to break up with him. I understand that i’m their precious little girl who’s growing up fast, but i don’t understand why they are so over protective??

  9. avatarKaileighx says:

    Hi, I have a boyfriend, I didn’t tell any of my parents at first but then my mom found out and took me in the kitchen to explain to her. She had told me around the dinner table with my dad that she doesn’t think that I need to be having a boyfriend at this age, and I totally agreed with her. But as time pasted I realized that I wanted to go out with this boy, I don’t know really how to tell my dad is it simple like: “Hi Dad, I have a boyfriend!” and he’s cool with it or is it like “Hi Dad I have a boyfriend” and he’s like “I don’t want you having a boyfriend so you’ll have to break up with him” either way I don’t want to lie to him. I don’t want my mom to know and my dad not, I feel like I would, I am keeping a secret from him. Do you have any advice on how I tell me? My mom says I have to tell him soon.

    • avatarVianney Pinto says:

      Try to analyse the situation. What’s the boy like? Is he a “good guy” or a major emo-punky bully (major no-no)? Maybe you like bad guys but your parents may not because they obviously try to protect you as far as they can. Can you see a future with the guy like at least 2 to 3 years? Does he treat you like a princess or is it obvious that he’s with you only for you body and you’re fine with it? and yes, when you do tell them and they don’t like the idea, DO NOT put up a rant. Just be calm and tell them to give him a chance- they can try meeting him and just try to prove it to your parents that you really feel the on-top-of-the-world feeling with him and that you feel really happy and yes, keep your grades/performance high- you don’t want them thinking your boo is a big distraction for their precious girl.

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