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You do NOT have to put up with this, girl! | Source: Shutterstock
Well, let’s set the record straight. Any kind of unwanted behavior that’s sexual and makes you feel uncomfortable is sexual harassment. Whether it’s something someone says to you, something you are made to look at, or a way someone touches you–it counts and it’s not okay. Here are a list of things that totally qualify as sexual harassment. I couldn’t list everything, but this should give you and idea:
* Someone calling you “babe,” “honey,” “sugar tits,” you get the idea
* Cat calling of any kind–including whistles and hollers
* A dude asking if it’s “that time of the month” because he thinks you’re being bitchy
* Raunchy jokes that you have to listen to
* Unwanted neck/back/shoulder massages (ick ick ick)
* Requests for sexual favors in exchange for better grades/a job/more money
* Comments about your body, even if they’re complimentary!
* Gross, porny emails–even if they’re “just a joke”
* Any kind of touching that gives you the heebie jeebies
Get the idea? It doesn’t matter what the intention really is, what matters is whether or not you are uncomfortable. If someone is sexually harassing you, first tell them they’re making you uncomfortable and that they need to stop. Hopefully, they’ll be horrified at themselves, apologize, be a better person from then on, and never ever do anything like that again. If that’s not the case, though, and the person continues to harass you, tell a parent, a counselor, your HR rep or another authority figure you trust. Sexual harassment is NOT your fault (no matter what you wear, how you walk, or whatever else people blame girls for!).
Have you ever been sexually harassed? What happened and how did you deal? Any advice for girls being sexually harassed? Tell us in the comments!
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to any girl looking at these comments; lets look at it from the other side. I’m a 22 year old girl with a lovely boyfriend whom I met at our workplace which is a pub restaurant. The atmosphere at the pub was always full of banter, some sexual some not. If a girl had a problem she simply told the male in question to stop or requested that the manager talk to him.
This was fine.
What isn’t fine, ladies, for you to run to the head office and accuse a member of sexual harassment before you have attempted to solve it by simply informing the person you’re accusing that you want them to stop.
If you go straight to head office their lives might be ruined because you were being a petty little girl who can’t/won’t stand up for herself and has to go crying to someone else.
Grow up and grow some – just talk to the male first. Feel uncomfortable? Get a manager or colleague to go with you.
I’ve seen so many lives ruined because you girls get all self entitled and go running to the authorities simply because someone called you ‘babe’.
GROW.UP.
Honestly, I have never been much of a feminist. At least not like those of today, with whom I agree on just about nothing. I tend to be conservative. “Honey”, “Sugar”, even “Baby”, really aren’t that bad. That being said, sexual harassment definitely exists, and I have experienced it personally. Last year, when I was the only girl at my table in forensics class, it got really bad. At first, it was extremely explicit stories and drawings that, since I as there, I had to put up with. I had made it clear it bothered me, and then they started including ME in their stories. They asked me explicit questions. One started claiming he’d had me. Completely false. I’m still a virgin. Never even been partially naked in front of a guy. Only been kissed once, and It was horrible. But he gave disgustingly explicit descriptions. I almost wanted to throw up at some points. I should have said something sooner, but I didn’t. Then, they started making jokes about rape. One actually put his hand on my thigh and snapped my bra. I finally reported it. The teacher moved my seat. The one who was sort of the ring leader got suspended for a week and a half. The others got lesser punishments, but they were fitting. It was a horrible experience. I’m glad it’s over.
I was around 12-13 when my 50-something neighbour started hitting on me , my mother and my older sister , it was creepy because he always came when i was alone on the street or something like that , he used to put his hand around me and i would freeze out of anger and disgust. He told me he loved me and crazy things like that and i would try to make jokes out of it , it was really annoying , but i am glad it stopped without anything bad happening , discussing it with my family really helped. So girls , don’t be afraid to speak up.
I just wanted to put out there that girls can sexually harass too. When I was 16 a 14 year-old said she was thinking about becoming a nun during a dinner at my youth group, a “friend” of mine also 16 decided to inform the 14 year-old about sex. My “friend” was going into major detail and when she got to oral sex I asked her to not talk about it while I was eating. She told me to stop being a prude and went on talking about oral sex.
In a PE lesson, we were about to play volleyball and we were being put in teams. I had a few friends in my group, but only a few, and the rest were really pervy guys. As I approached, Guy A said, “Oh, there’s Hilary, my sexy bitch,” (which was bad enough), but then I sat down and I could hear Guy A muttering to Guys B and C, saying stuff (about us) like, “See you on Porn Hub” and (about my friend Girl A), “…sex with that,” (as if she were a ‘that’ and not the strongest person I know), and then something about “Hilary’s hairy p****”, at which point I put my hand up and asked to leave the Sports Hall. I had to write down everything they said, and a female teacher read it, and I could tell she was shocked. It then went to the Head of Year, and he talked to Guy A, who denied everything except the first comment – even though I am a Human being, not an object or a possession, the teacher still let it go and told me I should “Take it as a compliment; not all the girls have guys going after them.”
Take it as a /COMPLIMENT/?! Coming from a person in a position of trust who is supposed to act responsibly and respectfully in situations like this, it’s not acceptable. I hate how my school just ignores anything happening to women that makes any problem for them. I’m still waiting for Guy A to be punished, but I don’t think I’ll ever get justice, any more than I did when I got sexually assaulted ON SCHOOL GROUNDS.
OMG! My nieghboor does that to me verbally and i want to press charges but im scared Alos this guy at school keeps putting his finger between where my elbow bends and tries to keep it there and always tries to make REALLY dirty jokes! It SOOOO kreeps me out!! What should i like do?
This boy on my bus was like a brother to me, I developed over the summer before my eighth year and apparently he noticed. On the second day of school he asked me out and I said no cus I had a thing with someone. Well all of a sudden he sat next to me and started touching my leg, and my ass and trying to touch down there. I kept saying no and pushing his hand away and trying to move but he wouldn’t let me move or stop. And if I was about to yell or scream he would pinch me or push really hard on my leg. When he got off he told me I better not tell anyone. And I didn’t for… A while. But we started talking about sexual harassment in health and I finally got the courage to talk to my guidance counselor. She talked to him but didn’t really do much. I told my mom and she helped me through it. And my friends help me deal with it. I was depressed for a while. But then once I talked about it and admitted to myself that this was really and I that I needed to deal with it things got better. Moral of the story… Always tell someone! No matter how scary or embarrassing you think it might be. Any unwanted advances made toward you is sexual harassment. I was so scared to tell anyone. And my only regret is not telling someone sooner. I hope anyone who is or has gone through something like this has told someone or is going to. It really helps. I can’t stress that enough