Etsy is full of a lot of weird crap, but this is pretty weird. “Blood and Donuts” perfume oil. What’s stranger than the fact that this even exists is that someone was sitting around thinking about it. “What’s my two favorite smells? . . . Donuts, yes, obviously. Oh, and I love the smell of my used tampons! Duh!” Or maybe they got into a fight at Krispy Kreme and had an epiphany as someone was beating them senselessly with a box of munchkins. Actually the product description is much better than any scenario I could come up with:

“The smell of humans is strong in his nostrils. He longs to be with them, to caress them, to be one of them again. Another scent drifts in and awakens older desires, of pleasures long forgotten, and then he sees it… the Donut Shop on the corner.”

This person had to sit down for hours and master the right combination of oils to create the odor that truly encompasses a bloody donut. Which apparently is, “Dark Egyptian amber and gaharu wood, well blended and served with creamy vanilla, cinnamon spice, rich chocolate, and a splash of Turkish coffee.” Mmm, that actually sounds pretty good.

Buy your Blood and Donuts here.

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