When you lose your virginity, it can be understandable to be a little confused about who you should tell. Your best friend? Your sister? Your… parents? While losing your v-card is a big deal and an important part of your life, is it something that mom and dad need to know about?
This discussion is going on in our message boards right now, after one girl asked how to tell her parents that she’s having sex. We wanted to bring it on the site to see what more girls think. Would you tell your parents? Did you? How did the convo go? Check out what these ladies had to say and then tell us what you think:
So I’m 16-years-old and my parents are way to overbearing. They’ve never let me have any of my boyfriends over to the house until this year, and even though they let me have him over they are constantly around. My parents are afraid that I’m going to go out and get pregnant. When my boyfriend is over, they have my little sister hang out with us so we can’t do anything. I’m a good kid, I’ve only had sex once with the BF I’m with now. We were careful and I’m on birth control. I have yet to tell my parents that we had sex, and I don’t really know how to. His parents know and he wants me to tell mine. Do you know a safe way to tell them without them telling me I can’t see him anymore?
Being open with your parents is a good idea and kudos to you for wanting to be sincere. But honestly, if you do it you’ll have to be ready to deal with some major fall out. It’s completely normal that your parents are worried. They might be upset for a while and even try to stop your boyfriend from seeing you.
My advice is to be as adult about this as you can be. Be very responsible about everything else in your life, from school to chores, it does count. When you do talk to them, make sure you and your boyfriend show that you have been using protection and that you have also informed his parents because both of you want to be safe and make informed decisions.
Why are you going to tell your parents that you had sex??? It’s not like telling your mom when you got your period. And just because you had sex, you think they will allow you to have sex under their roof, seeing the way they are? My advice is to keep it to yourself (and good for you for going on birth control!!) and understand that that’s the way it works under your parents’ roof, the kids don’t get time alone. You’ll just have to find other ways to be able to have sex.
Listen, sex is a really personal thing. I know it feels like you’re obligated to tell your parents about these big changes in your life, but you’re not obligated to tell them you’re having sex – as long as you’re being safe and you don’t think there’s something wrong. If you feel comfortable telling them you lost your v-card and you think it will strengthen your relationship, then do it. But if you think it’s going to ruin things, then maybe keep it to yourself for a little longer.
If they straight up ask you if you’ve done it and you feel super uncomfortable lying to them, then tell them the truth. Stress the fact that you’re on birth control and remind them that it’s your body and it’s your decision. Promise them you’ll continue being careful in the future – but just as a warning, they might get mad or disappointed. If you can deal with that, then tell them.
What do you think – do you have to tell your parents you have sex? How did you tell your parents? What advice would you give this girl? Tell us in the comments!