I have a huge crush on this guy… but he has a girlfriend. He flirts with me all the time and I’m pretty sure he has a crush on me also. But the annoying thing is that he hasn’t broken up with his girlfriend yet. I don’t even think he loves her! So my question is how do you know if a guy loves his girlfriend? How do you know if a guy is in love? Help!!
Every couple is unique — how one guy shows affection for his girlfriend in public might be entirely different from another. Furthermore, even if he may seem to give his lady-friend the cold shoulder between English and Chem class, he may be showering her with flowers and butterfly kisses as soon as they get back to her place.
However, the answer to your question boils down to this: If a guy is overtly flirting with you “all the time” while in a relationship, he’s probably not in love with his girlfriend. And, even if he is, his lack of fidelity implies that he doesn’t deserve to be with her in the first place (which is also a serious red flag for your own future with this dude).
Giving him the benefit of the doubt, and assuming he’s just in a relationship that has recently gone sour, I think the more pressing issue might be where to go from here. On one hand, if you’re really into this dude and have no regard for his girlfriend’s feelings, it sounds like it shouldn’t be too hard to woo him away from her with little more than some fresh baked cookies and a neck massage. On the other, you could wait it out and allow his current relationship to run its course before making a move. Not only is this the more mature, respectful option, but allowing your crush to wrap things up in his own time is probably best for your own relationship with him in the long run.
So, does this guy love his girlfriend? Maybe not. I can’t say for sure – the only person who really knows that is the guy himself. Everyone shows and feels love in different ways, so we can never be totally sure about how another person feels, despite what their actions may show. The best advice I can give you right now is to stop wondering about how he feels about his lady, and try to forget about him entirely for the time being. If you and he were meant to be, he’ll make sure you’re subscribed to his feed before he switches that Facebook relationship status to “single.”
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.