As if we didn’t have enough to worry about down there, between periods, waxing, whether we’re the right size or shape (which, by the way, you are)–now we have to be insecure about the color of our private parts, too?
It may sound weird to us because we’re used to having pressure to tan, but in Asia, skin bleaching has been around for a while. In many Asian countries, being fair skinned is associated with higher class and status, because being tan is interpreted as working in fields (think of the “redneck” idea back here in the states). But after being influenced by the media, celebs, and cosmetic companies to have fair faces for so long, the market is moving down to, well, vaginas, offering vaginal bleaching products. Say it with us, now: WTF?!
A whitening vaginal wash has hit shelves in Thailand, and um, it sounds really bizarre to us. First off, vaginas are pretty sensitive–why would you want such harsh chemicals (like hydroquinone and mercury–which can poison you!) messing with your situation down there? Second, since most of the time vaginas are, you know, covered up, how is anyone supposed to know what color is “ideal” for a vagina? One ad actually offers to make your vagina “bright and translucent.” Bright. And translucent. A vagina. Certain glass is supposed to be translucent. Chances are your vagina is not made of glass. (And if it is, you have a whole other set of problems.) Third, doctors and gynos are really not happy about this, and your wallet probably wouldn’t be either–you have to keep doing it since it’s not permanent, or, conversely, it can actually turn your vagina white. Like literal, snow, copy paper, cotton ball, Clorox-fresh white. Yikes!
Perhaps what’s most infuriating about the whole vaginal bleaching thing is the fact that the media–advertisers, cosmetics companies, etc.–keep insisting that having a bleached vagina will make you more attractive to men. Here’s a quick news flash: If you need to bleach your vagina to attract a guy, chances are he is not the kind of dude you want to attract in the first place. First off, how would he know what your vagina looks like so early on? Kinda an awkward ice breaker, right? “Hey, I’m Jess! Did you know my vagina is translucent? And bright. Like, Day-Glo bright. Wait, where are you going?”
The fact is, your vagina looks fine. I don’t have to see it to know that (really, so please don’t send photos, because that would be weird and possibly illegal). But seriously–as long as your stuff is in working order and your gyno isn’t concerned with you, guess what? You don’t need vaginal bleach, because your vagina is the right color. And anyone who insists that it isn’t really doesn’t deserve to see it in the first place. Unless, of course, he’s willing to dip his own boner in a bottle of bleach first. And if that’s the case, ladies? You’re BOTH nuts.
Would you ever consider vaginal bleaching? Have you or anyone you know gotten vaginal bleaching before? Do you want to bleach your vagina? Tell us in the comments!