Boards
Kissing is an art. Each time you kiss a new person it can take a while to get into the groove of it. Too bad a lazy girl like you doesn’t have time to have open communication, patience, and understanding. You just want to cut to the chase and get first base over with. Luckily we’ve got 10 tips and tricks on how to have the perfect kiss. Or at least a really, really, really, really, really, memorable one . . .
Practice Makes Perfect
Hit up your favorite clothing store, find the hottest mannequin and get to smooching. This is the best totally not creepy way to practice tiny pecks on the cheek and lips. ShutterStock.comOnto French Kissing
Your favorite pet probably already loves to smooch you. Cats and dogs are a great way to start incorporating tongue action. ShutterStock.comGet Prepped
Make sure your breath is super stinky. You want your fist kiss to leave a lasting impression. Scent is the first sense tied to memory! ShutterStock.comEat Lots Of Cheese Puffs
These will stain your teeth nice and orange. Everyone has white teeth, duh! You want to give him something special. ShutterStock.comDon't Wear Deodorant
If you're looking to drive him crazy be sure to skip deodorants. Your pheromones will make you irresistible. Robert Pattinson loves to lick K-Stews pits, let their passion for hygiene be your guide to steamy love. ShutterStock.comEat Lots Of Mexican
You want to be sure to eat foods that will make you gassy. Guys love it when you burp in their mouth. ShutterStock.comWear A Condom
You don't want to get mono do you? Wear a condom on your tongue. Better to be safe than sorry. ShutterStock.comVamp It Up
Nibbling on lips is so cliche. Wear vampire teeth and chomp on his neck. He'll never forget that. ShutterStock.comSpice Things Up!
Eat a jalapeno just before. He'll be sweating, confused, and totally hot. Just where you want him. ShutterStock.comThe Perfect Makeout Spot
You'll want the perfect location, which means dark and discrete. Sewers are personally my favorite place to get hot and heavy! ShutterStock.comHave you ever had a perfect kiss? Let us know in the comments!
Hahahaha. Knowing myself and my husband (I’m not THAT old, we’re both only 20), I see only one thing that is useful here: the Jalapeno. I couldn’t do it cause I have a sensitive tummy and am SUCH a baby about spicy food, but I know he would love that one. He licks her armpits?!?! HOW NASTY!!!!
I hope this is a joke. Who would wanna kiss somewhere gross like the sewer? Who would wanna kiss someone who has bad breath? I mean if you were a rat, than maybe it would be romantic. But doing all that stuff with that special someone? N.O.!
I seriously think we can just do whatever we want. If he’s a good boyfriend, he’ll understand if we’re not good kissers.
The first kiss with my (now ex) boyfriend, Austin, unexpected and romantic as hell
ok seriously… :I i wish i had known this was a joke post. i obviously would do none of that stuff. if i wanted to look for a joke then i would go on youtube…-sigh-
uhhh.. no lol
Wait wait wait. So you’re saying that making out with mannequins is frowned upon?
There goes my weekend.
Oh c’mon, some of these ‘Lazy Girl’ articles are kinda funny to read but this one is just stupid. I mean; Kissing in a Sewer? Ew. Sometimes it’s funny but this is just too far.
aww I am kinda disappointed this is a joke post!
me too. :/ i was actually looking for advice.
This is funny….but can we have a serious article with tips on how to kiss?
Exactly!
There’s one linked at the bottom of the piece. I usually always link to previous articles with real advice on the same subject that we’ve done before.
Check out How To Kiss here http://www.gurl.com/2012/07/11/how-to-kiss-help/
I had the perfect kiss a few years back at a water park. It was with my best friend. The moment happened while waiting in line for a ride. He put his arms around my waist and we kissed. It was our very first kiss and I loved it!
My ex tried to kiss me! Oh my god it happened two days ago. When I was dropping my little brother off at his taekwondo class, I saw him. We hugged and he was leaning in for a kiss! Oh thank god I rejected him. He’s taken and doesn’t even know his boundries. Urgh what a douche bag.
A lot of people come here and say they look for actual advice and don’t get it and they call this stupid or annoying. Well we’re obviously not supposed to do this. This is supposed to be silly and we have to understand they mean don’t do this..