Even though a lot of people have different definitions of what constitutes virginity, it’s pretty much universally accepted that once you lose your virginity, it’s gone: You can’t go back to being a virgin once you have sex (of whatever kind you believe “counts”). That is, until now.
A bizarre new device is being sold as an “artificial hymen” to replace the one you may have lost–whether through sex, using tampons, horseback riding, an uncomfortable bike seat–that way your partner (or partners, whatever floats your boat) will feel like they’re having sex with a virgin. Frankly, we don’t see the big deal about a guy having sex with a virgin or someone experienced–because sex isn’t the only way to break a hymen. And if you remember when your hymen first broke (if it has), you’ll probably recall it being pretty uncomfortable and possibly a bit bloody, even if it was ultimately rewarding when it was over.
An artificial hymen is pretty much one of those mouthwash strips–but bigger and filled with red dye. The purpose and main effect of the artificial hymen isn’t necessarily to feel any different (it pretty much dissolves inside you after a minute or two), but to essentially make it look like you’re bleeding. And that’s where we sort of have an issue with this.
Let’s be real: Not to be judgmental, because what you do in your bedroom, provided it’s consensual, is your own business (and your partner’s), but most people who fetishize virgins, virginity, and hymens are men. Taking someone’s virginity is sort of like a prize to these people, an accomplishment that they’re gaining something from–while you’re “losing” it. When a guy loses his virginity, it’s usually regarded as something to high-five and congratulate him for, while girls are often slut-shamed (which is in part why artificial hymens exist: some cultures use it to “trick” new husbands into thinking their new wives are virgins and therefore “pure,” because, you know, a sexually active and happy girl is dirty or damaged goods). It’s not cool, and it’s more than a little sexist. Anyone who judges you for your sexual past doesn’t need to be part of your sexual future.
And the whole blood thing? Not gonna lie, it freaks us out a little. First of all, it can’t be all that healthy to have food dye in your hoo-ha–yikes! But even more so than that, it implies a sort of infantilization (since it’s believed that the younger a girl is, the more likely she is to have her hymen in tact) and victimization. Blood, in just about any situation, implies that pain is involved (even your period, though not quite as directly). That means, in a way, a guy who wants to see you bleed (and not in terms of “Thank God your eggo isn’t preggo!”) may get off of seeing you in pain.
While some people are into that, you need to make sure if this is something he’s into that you’re both into it for the right reasons and that you truly respect one another. Making love shouldn’t need to be so macabre. There’s a fine line between Christian Grey and Ted Bundy. Make sure you’re not with someone who’s going to cross it.
Do you think artificial hymens are cool or scary? Would you ever use an artificial hymen? Have you ever lied about being a virgin? Would you ever want to get your virginity back? Tell us in the comments!
These girls all regretted their first times having sex!
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