From The Boards: Would You Be Okay With Your BF Being Friends With His Ex?

Friends with an ex

This girl is totally like, “Stay away from my BF!” | Source: ShutterStock

When you’re in a relationship with a dude you’re really into, the last person you want to be reminded of is the girl who came before you. Exes are always a tricky subject, whether they broke up two years ago or two months ago. I know that ideally, I would prefer if my boyfriend’s ex was never brought up, ever. So here’s the question: would you be okay with it if your boyfriend was still friends with his ex?

I saw this topic being discussed in the message boards and knew I needed to get more opinions. Should a guy ever keep his ex around as a friend? Check out this girl’s story about her boyfriend and his ex, and then tell us what you would do if you were in a similar situation.

stayclassy said:
I was watching this show where they were talking about these three stories where men led a double life. Then they had some kind of specialist (apologies for not remembering the exact facts); she was something along the lines of psychologist or relationship specialist.

They got into the topic of your boyfriend/husband staying friends with their ex(es). The specialist mentioned that the man has the ex in his life as a “back up” in case you two don’t work out. I thought it seemed unprofessional to generalize this way.

What’s your take on this?

I personally trust my boyfriend… but the other night, because of the show, I got curious and asked him how often him and his ex text on average. He said about a few texts every couple of weeks. That kind of seemed like quite a bit to me for an ex. They don’t hang out or talk on the phone, just text. I’ve met her before and she was really nice but he’s definitely grown into… ahem.. a muuuch more desirable man now compared to how he was when he was with her. It made me wonder if she was still attracted to him. She’s also the only ex he talks to because they settled their hard feelings and stayed friends.

There has never been any disrespect coming from her or any “signs”… no Facebook drama, nothing. If anything, he’d quickly put a stop to it but this is just me thinking (too much probably).

I personally don’t stay friends with exes so I am having trouble understanding this. Any help girls?

Would you be okay with your BF being friends with his ex? Are you friends with your ex? Would you be uncomfortable if you were in this situation? Tell us in the comments!

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24 Comments

  1. avatar Lacey loves u says:

    well it is kinda weird because me well when I get out of a relationship were always friends. but when my boyfriend has a ex that he’s friends with……well………I feel uncomfortable. but the only reason why I feel that way is because u girls know that when you’re dateing the RIGHT man/guy you really like him. (well if that’s how u feel) :) you whant him to be you’res and YOU”RES only! right? well that’s how the guy might feel aswell. But yes and no to that answer. the reason I say yes is because u might have a friend that’s one of you’re ex’s. And the reason I say no is because you might feel like you’re boyfriend might be getting ready to re-hook up with her :(……..but that’s what I think abought it :))) tx ~ lacey :)

  2. avatar Casie says:

    oh heck no!!! no way no how. it’s not that i don’t trust him but i no i don’t trust her.

  3. avatar Julie says:

    I think exes can be friends. But am i find my boyfriends behaviour real strange, he will say the ex was awful n how she used to hit him n she bagged off on him. Yet when he goes to pick his son up he will go inside the house while he says his ex is getting there son ready. He is 3. I said to him she can’t b all that bad cos u wouldn’t go in her house if she was n he then gets angry that I said that.

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