Boards
So you’ve met the dude of your dreams, Lazy Girl. He’s lazy, sarcastic, and has seen all 786 episodes of Dr. Who. Sounds perfect to me. There’s just one problem, now that you’ve snagged a date with him how are you going to win him over? You want the perfect date, but you don’t really feel like getting dressed, chewing with your mouth closed, having a meaningful conversation–you know, anything that involves real effort. How does a Lazy Girl have the perfect date, when all her energy was spent on getting the date? Simple. Here are 10 easy ways to win him over. For life!
Ignore Him
Guys love it when you play hard to get. Don't say a word to him. Walk 10 feet ahead of him at all times. Make him have to CHASE you or at least power walk. ShutterStock.comLeave Him Wanting More
Make sure the date does NOT go over 20 minutes. You want to give him a taste of your awesome personality. Think of yourself as a delicious Pringle. Once you pop, he just can't stop! ShutterStock.comShow Him You're No Girly-Girl
Play Angry Birds on your phone the whole time. Dudes love a chick who can play video games. ShutterStock.comBecome A Dude
Guys love other dudes. So BECOME another dude. Change your name to Bill. Wear your brother's clothes. Talk about football and guns. He'll fall madly in love with you. ShutterStock.comFart!
Guys love farting, they do it all the time. Pass some wind and light a candle, baby. The same candles you'll be lighting on your honeymoon. ShutterStock.comInvite His BFF On The Date
Then make out with his BFF. Dudes love to win, which means they love competition. Objectifying yourself will ensure that you're a worthy trophy to his male prowess when he finally wins you over! ShutterStock.comBe Rude To The Waiter
This way he'll know you have class. Being mean to people who serve you shows that you are better than everyone. Why wouldn't he want to date a girl who is better than every other girl? ShutterStock.comOrder The Surf N' Turf
Or whatever else is the most expensive thing on the menu. He'll appreciate that you're refined and have the dignified palette of a Goddess. ShutterStock.comRefuse To Pay
Guys love when you need to be taken care of. It shows that you are weak and helpless like a lost puppy or a horse with a broken leg. Let him be your hero. ShutterStock.comWhen The Date Is Over . . .
Text, Facebook, and Tweet that you love him, are in it FOR KEEPS, and that all other potential suitors need to STEP OFF because HE IS YOURS. He'll definitely appreciate how controlling you are because it's been scientifically proven that control is the #1 preferred sign of affection. ShutterStock.comWhat’s the worst advice you’ve gotten for a date? Let us know in the comments!
Need some GOOD advice? Check out The Complete Guide For First Date Jitters!
Would You Rather?
This or That
Omg guys, you need to calm down and lighten up. Imo, I thought these were pretty funny and I actually believed the first tips, I was thinking, “Is this what guys ACTUALLY like?” xD But come on, you wouldn’t actually do these things. If you’re really that gullible, (and I’m extremely gullible) then you need to talk to someone or something (relax, just a joke). But if you really want gurl to pay attention to what you’re asking, why not try suggesting something instead of screaming at them that they need to fire someone. That’s really not that answer lmao. I guess for incredible gullible people, gurl could at least say “not real advice, lazy girl guide” or whatever, but it’s not like they need to shut down the website. So my point is, someone needs to throw a lamp at you guys or something. Geez, lighten up. (pun intended
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Totally thought this was serious dating advice, lol
any advice i’ve never had a bf because i love flirting more its so much fun but now i think iveriously fallen for a guy and dont know what to do i think hes single but were not really similar in interest and everytime hes near me i kind of getis exciting rush………help me plz guys i need advice
“Pass some wind and light a candle, baby.” Hahahahah that made my night!
I was totally convinced the first couple tips were real but then I was like, “wait, total sarcasm.” Made me laugh though!
If you don’t like certain article series, you don’t have to read them. I love the Lazy Girl articles.
Sadly, I actually know plenty of girls who would do this stuff.
These really aren’t all that funny, and some confused girl might actually take it seriously. Maybe if they were more silly rather than just plain rude, it would be more interesting.
AAAAAAAAAARGH. EVERY TIME I SEE THE PERFECT ARTICLE FOR ME, IT APPEARS TO BE ANOTHER STUPID LAZY GUIRL GUIDES. WE WANT REAL ADVISE, THIS WEBSITE IS FULL OF STUPID THINGS.
this is my 1st time reading 1 of these what if someone actually did this LOL
I do not like these. I much rather have actually advice. Like cmon guys they arent even funny
this is the worst,Its not even funny to joke about that .-.
HA! That was hilarious! I’m sure many gurls would like some real advice, but I just love these lazy guides! Keep it comin’!
I am actually getting so sick of these. Can we fire whoever is writing them please?