So you’ve met the dude of your dreams, Lazy Girl. He’s lazy, sarcastic, and has seen all 786 episodes of Dr. Who. Sounds perfect to me. There’s just one problem, now that you’ve snagged a date with him how are you going to win him over? You want the perfect date, but you don’t really feel like getting dressed, chewing with your mouth closed, having a meaningful conversation–you know, anything that involves real effort. How does a Lazy Girl have the perfect date, when all her energy was spent on getting the date? Simple. Here are 10 easy ways to win him over. For life!
Ignore HimGuys love it when you play hard to get. Don't say a word to him. Walk 10 feet ahead of him at all times. Make him have to CHASE you or at least power walk. ShutterStock.com
Leave Him Wanting MoreMake sure the date does NOT go over 20 minutes. You want to give him a taste of your awesome personality. Think of yourself as a delicious Pringle. Once you pop, he just can't stop! ShutterStock.com
Show Him You're No Girly-GirlPlay Angry Birds on your phone the whole time. Dudes love a chick who can play video games. ShutterStock.com
Become A DudeGuys love other dudes. So BECOME another dude. Change your name to Bill. Wear your brother's clothes. Talk about football and guns. He'll fall madly in love with you. ShutterStock.com
Fart!Guys love farting, they do it all the time. Pass some wind and light a candle, baby. The same candles you'll be lighting on your honeymoon. ShutterStock.com
Invite His BFF On The DateThen make out with his BFF. Dudes love to win, which means they love competition. Objectifying yourself will ensure that you're a worthy trophy to his male prowess when he finally wins you over! ShutterStock.com
Be Rude To The WaiterThis way he'll know you have class. Being mean to people who serve you shows that you are better than everyone. Why wouldn't he want to date a girl who is better than every other girl? ShutterStock.com
Order The Surf N' TurfOr whatever else is the most expensive thing on the menu. He'll appreciate that you're refined and have the dignified palette of a Goddess. ShutterStock.com
Refuse To PayGuys love when you need to be taken care of. It shows that you are weak and helpless like a lost puppy or a horse with a broken leg. Let him be your hero. ShutterStock.com
When The Date Is Over . . .Text, Facebook, and Tweet that you love him, are in it FOR KEEPS, and that all other potential suitors need to STEP OFF because HE IS YOURS. He'll definitely appreciate how controlling you are because it's been scientifically proven that control is the #1 preferred sign of affection. ShutterStock.com
What’s the worst advice you’ve gotten for a date? Let us know in the comments!