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I don’t want to be like this, but I kind of am. | Source: Shutterstock
That’s how I’d love to introduce myself. I normally stop after saying my name, but I wish I could say the rest. You see, I hate being touched. Weird, right?
It’s just how I am. I don’t like being hugged, kissed on the cheek or even shaking hands. I never have and I’m going to guess, I never will.
Just so you don’t think I’m a total cold-hearted freak, I’ll let you know there is one caveat. I do like when someone I’m dating touches me. But that’s rare. Very, very rare. When I’m out on a date with a guy and he holds my hand or grazes my shoulder and I don’t automatically shutter and flinch, that’s when I know I really like him. Aside from those few select dudes that pass my touch test, I’d like everyone else to back off.
It’s not that I’m afraid of germs or think people are dirty. I don’t like being touched because it feels way too intimate to me. It’s like my brain is all, “This body is mine. Everyone else, hands off the merch!” I know it doesn’t make much sense, but it’s how I really feel. And apparently, I’m the only one. It seems like everyone else loves touching each other.
Strangers will hug me when they meet me and old friends kiss me on the cheek to say hi. What ever happened to a good old fashioned personal space respecting wave? Seriously, when did that stop being enough?
I’ve learned to manage my touch-phobia and can generally act like a normal person in high touch situations. Just this week I kissed my friend’s mom on the cheek when I said hello and hugged another friend’s boyfriend when she introduced us. And in both situations, I think I managed to look like my skin wasn’t crawling. But, it was.
Sometimes people call me out on it. Every once in a while I’ll hear, “Julie, you’re not going to hug me?” or “Come on, hug me like you mean it.” And instead of explaining that I’d rather be raked over hot coals while listening to spoken-word poetry, I just go in for the hug. There’s no real way to explain my touching thing without offending my friends or making myself sound like a royal freak. I guess I could just send them a link to this article now.
I’m wondering, am I really alone in this touch thing? Anyone else out there not want to be touched? Let me know in the comments if you think this is beyond weird or if you relate.
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I could not agree with you more about the touching thing. I don’t have problems touching or being touched by my children, and certain men I have known, and sometimes other family members, but other than that I am very uncomfortable being touched. I finally had to tell a coworker of mine to stop touching me the other day. It was so awkward and she was totally embarrassed and hurt. I did not enjoy causing her that discomfort, but she was touching me on the arm or shoulder almost every time she came near me, and I was so creeped out by it I finally had to confront her. I gave her every hint I could that her frequent touching me was not welcome, but when I finally told her she was completely taken aback. I know others who don’t want to be touched by non family members as well. I like my personal space, and I wish ‘touchy” and ‘huggy” people would understand that it feels invasive, unnecessary and uncomfortable to some people. To those who, like my cooworker, have no idea that some people don’t like it, I offer this advise: Do not assume that people want you to touch them or hug them..It is not wrong to be a toucher or non toucher, and it isn’t personal. Just don’t assume it is welcome. Thanks for giving me a chance to voice my opinion. I am in agreement with everything you said, and I know I am a normal person.
I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!! I THINK IT WAS CUZ I WAS MOLESTED AND RAPED BUT EVEN SO. LOL AND YOU LEGIT MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD. GOOD TO KNOW IM NOT ALONE. THANK YOU!
I don’t mind when people I know touch me, like my family or some of my friends, but I hate it when my soccer coach touches my shoulder. I just try to back away, or put my hand on my hip to keep him farther away, but he just inches closer every time I step away. I start shaking, breathing hard and getting very nervous. Then when I go on the field I don’t play as well as I should.
I’m the same way! I hate when people touch me. Like you I have a select few people I tolerate it from. I think its normal. It is your body.
I feel the same way. It’s not like I’m afraid of people; all the casual touching just makes me uncomfortable. I hadn’t told anyone until this year about it, besides my mom, who has the exact same issues with people as I do. Eventually, I become OK with touching certain people (such as one of my overenthusiastic, very excitable roommates), but I finally toughened up and told them. They looked at me funny, and I didn’t want them to make a big deal out of it (which they kind of do), but I find it nice that my excitable roommate will now ask me if a hug would make me feel better or worse, or she’ll give me a look and I’ll be like, “Okay. I could handle a hug.”
Strangers, on the other hand, and some of my family gets really offended. It’s unfortunate. But at least they don’t touch me.
I was told that I didn’t even want to get milk from my mom when I was first born! Then, I was adopted and HATED when my mom kissed me. So wet, sloppy, stinky and DISGUSTING! Then, she was so needy that when she hugged me, she squeezed me so tight it hurt. I don’t believe that some people display forms of affection to express their live for you, but more of a display of how emotionally needy they are at the other persons expense. I hate being kissed unless its a boyfriend…even then, he better brush his teeth! I have a lot of friends in France that give you a Bissau when they greet…and yes, it’s uncomfortable, but its over quick and is hopefully dry.
Old ladies kissing me ANYWHERE is not cool. I seriously hate being kissed if its not a boyfriend!
I know how you feel im 15and I hate being touched but idk why