My Love/Hate Relationship With My Boobs

I have big boobs

Sometimes I love ‘em, sometimes I hate ‘em | Source: ShutterStock

When I was younger, I really wanted big boobs. I would look at my mom’s Victoria’s Secret catalogs and then stare down at my barely-there A-cups and sigh sadly. When I heard someone make a comment about my older cousin M’s impressive D-cups, I turned to my mom and declared that I wanted to “be just like M when I grow up.” On my first day of high school, I wore a padded bathing suit top under my shirt just so my boobs looked bigger.

It just wasn’t fair. My mom, grandma and older cousins were all well-endowed. Meanwhile, at 13-years-old, I was considering the pros and cons of breast enhancement surgery. Every night, I put my Catholic school education to good use by praying for my boobs to grow at least two sizes overnight. (Ugh, so embarrassing!)

It sounds weird, but I was so busy obsessing over the small size of my chest that I didn’t even notice when they actually did grow…until my high school boyfriend pointed it out. One night when we were on the phone, he asked what size bra I wore. I hesitated, then said, “I’m an A-cup”.

He snorted. “No, you’re not Jess. There’s no way.” The next day, I headed to Victoria’s Secret to get fitted. And it turns out he was right – I had grown into a large B-cup. I had no idea when it had happened, but I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

But by my freshmen year of college, I was wearing a 34 D, and I absolutely hated it. I was shy, awkward and quiet and I had no idea why I ever wanted breasts to begin with. I couldn’t stand the way people (mainly guys) stared at my boobs. I avoided push-up bras, v-neck t-shirts, anything strapless and bikinis like the plague. When anyone commented on how big my boobs were, I started blushing and couldn’t stop. I stared enviously at the way clothes draped over flatter girls and wished my breasts would shrink.

I wanted them until I didn’t. | Source: ShutterStock

Until one day, when I was complaining to a more flat-chested friend about them. She looked at me like I was insane. “Are you kidding me? Do you know what I would do for your boobs?” She then proceeded to go into a long list of reasons why she hated her own A-cups. Looking for someone who would understand, I complained to my best friend, who was the same size as I was. Instead of agreeing with me, she shrugged and said, “I love my boobs. Big boobs are awesome.”

Slowly, I began to embrace my D-cups, and now I can say that 80 percent of the time, I wouldn’t change them one bit. It wasn’t about realizing that being flat-chested stinks, though. There are definitely some days when I wish my boobs were a few sizes smaller – like when I’m scared of flashing people when I’m swimming. Or when I try on a super cute dress, only to see that it fits perfectly everywhere but refuses to zip up over my chest. I can rarely find button-down shirts that actually button, baggy shirts (so comfy!) make me look a lot heavier than I am, and I will never not be annoyed by dudes blatantly staring at my boobs as I walk down a street or try to have a convo with them.

But all in all, I’ve come to realize that they’re pretty great. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you exactly what I like about my boobs. I like how they look in certain clothes (I’ve stopped avoiding v-necks, by the way), and when I’m feeling down about my bod, they give me a big confidence boost. Yeah, we have a total love/hate relationship going on, but mainly I appreciate them.  I feel like my body wouldn’t be my body without them, you know?

How do you feel about your boobs? Did you hate them when they first started growing? Do you wish they were a different size? Can you relate to my clothing issues? Tell me in the comments!

 

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30 Comments

  1. avatar Jordan says:

    I’m 13 and I’m a 34 D and its SOO annoying.. I can’t run or go downstairs without my boobs moving. Guys always make comments and stare. And I just wish I could have smaller boobs. In certain pieces of clothing I look 10 lbs heavier than I actually am. I love my boobs, but sometimes I wish I could be a B again.

  2. avatar Ashley says:

    Nordstroms has a great selection for the bustier girls. They can carry up to a J cup in certain bras, which is a relief for me seeing how I’m 22 with a 36H. And yes for those disbelievers there is such a thing as an H cup bra and it’s all natural.

  3. avatar maddie says:

    i am 14 and i am still a 32a which is the same size as i was in year 7 ahaha-.-
    is annoys me so much when friends tell me their boobs have grown and i sit there with the smallest little tits, i wouldnt even call them tits, their like grapes aha!
    i know they are growing because my nipples are always so bloody itchy,but i never see any difference. they are literally the smallest tits you will ever see in your whole life. obviously i care because i always complain but at the end of the day, they will grow(fingers crossed). but girls want their boobs to be big because thats what boys likes, at the end of th day, boys are dicks ahahaha!

  4. avatar Katherine says:

    I have exactly the same relationship with mine! I always wanted bigger boobs, as mine developed later than my friends. Though, now, I’m a 34 D to DD and I realize a lot of my friends are actually pretty flat chested compared to me! :)

  5. avatar Random girl says:

    =__= I’M JELLY OF U ALL IM 14 AND IM 34A OR B!!! UGHHHHHH ;-; NOT FAIRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. avatar Samiah says:

    im a 34 DD and i love my boobs , simple . God made me like this and im satisfied. AMEN.

  7. avatar Chloe says:

    My boobs have always been bigger than most girls my age, and right now I’m a 34D junior in high school. I’m really short (5’1″) and my torso is especially short, so my boobs make me look really disproportional and chubbier than I am. I have an extremely difficult time finding shirts that look good on me because I need an XS small length, but that is way too tight on my boobs; anything that doesn’t taper in at the waist stays about 2 inches away from my body (down from where my boobs go out), which makes me look very wide from the side; and my cleavage can attract the most disgusting men’s attention, which makes me SO uncomfortable. Just like you, I have to avoid the most adorable pushup bras from Victoria’s Secret because all that padding makes my boobs look huge and pushed up all the way to my neck! Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I had a B cup because I would have more clothing options and if I wanted them to look bigger, there are so many enhancing bras out there!

    • avatar JD says:

      If your boobs were genuinely D-sized, you wouldn’t have much trouble fitting into clothes. The fact that you need an XS shirt tells me that your bra band size is probably smaller than 34. Maybe 30 or 28? That would automatically change the cup size. I used to be wearing a too-big band size until I went round my ribcage with a tape measure and got a band close to that. Try that to start.

    • avatar Katherine says:

      Hey sweet, don’t get yourself down about that! Think, about using belts to draw you in at the waist, and wear heels! They don’t have to be high, but they lengthen you out, thus, making your boobs more proportionate! Good luck xx

  8. avatar lamingtongirl says:

    my boobs are really small compared to all my friends when you take a small glance, but when we were all wearing the same shirt for this photo shoot thing (dont ask) my boobs looked massive. And I swear i wasn’t wearing padded bras. though the others were. LOL :)

  9. avatar AsianIggs1 says:

    I agree with you. I have a hate/love relationship with my boobs CONSTANTLY. I despise them for gym because I HAVE to wear a real bra to run in. That still doesn’t help them from hurting from running. On the other hand, my clothes do flatter me sometimes. It all depends on how I wear them and if it fits me well. Another for the hate: I feel like even the girls who didn’t like me much before hate me even more now that I’m WAY bigger than them (38DD.) I’m told that I’m all-around lovable and that they’re just jealous, but sometimes it just hurts to know someone may hate me because I have bigger boobs. Another for the love: I really do love them when I don’t have to run or do sports I hate. So does my boyfriend. He compliments me regularly for no reason, but he also makes me feel better about my size! I know he’s not here JUST for the boobage.

  10. avatar Sarah says:

    14 and still a 28aa, oh cruel fate!

  11. avatar LittleRedWolf says:

    I’m 21 and a 34A. The size doesn’t bother me too much, but the shape does. They never really filled out, so they don’t have that boob look, more like just moobs. I’ve stared doing exercises to boost my pecks, though, and while that doesn’t actually make your boobs grow, it does give them more fullness underneath if you stick with it. Hopefully, that’ll help a bit. If not… of well. No way I’m going under the knife for it. No guy or girl who’s worth it will really care when it comes down to it.

  12. avatar Ariel says:

    I’m 13 and I am a 32D, but I am very thin and most bras are too wide for me so the wires dig into my shoulders. I love my boobs, but I have literally never found a bra that fit perfectly, much less one that was cute or comfortable.

    • avatar shelly says:

      wow those are massive! I just turned 14 and I’m still a 34A. And I’m proud of my small boobs! They don’t have to hurt when I run.

  13. avatar Artemis95 says:

    I have 46 DDD boobs, and I’m 16. Granted, I am a pretty curvy girl, but really? 46 DDD? It is so hard to find clothes that fit me. I was always awkward and shy anyway, and my boobs just make it worse. I am so self conscious about them.

  14. avatar Jaime says:

    I’m a 38D. I have been since probably my freshman year of high school. They grew overnight too. I love them though. At first not so much cuz of some stretch marks, but as I’ve aged they went away. Now I just hate shopping for bras because all the cute stuff stops at C’s usually. But life goes on. Learn to love what you have.

  15. avatar Vivi says:

    I’m 13, and a 34C. My mom is an A and I truly don’t know how I got here because my family is small boobed. I get awkward stares from guys in our grade because I’m bigger. It really irritates me because I feel like society objectifies women. We’re just genetically given larger breasts to feed our baby when we have one. It doesn’t make us a thing to stare at – it doesn’t do ANYTHING to our validity past our bodies. We’re not just for entertainment.

  16. avatar Lexy says:

    I wear a 32 A and everyone in my family have big boobs… My mom wears a 34 C and my grandma wears a 34 D and I don’t want big boobs but I like the way that u embrace urs…

  17. avatar Jugs Daily says:

    It’s time for my ever-futile boob lecture!

    1) A D cup is not big. It is about four or five inches more, *around*, than your underbust measurement. Most stores only stock up to a D, and I used to wear a D on a band size way too big for me because only then could it fit over my boobs. Then I got a proper bra sizing and I was a smaller band size and a FF cup.

    2) I repeat: the cup size means the proportion of boobs to body. A 34D bra is a bigger cup size than a 32D, but the proportions are the same. (The same cup mass would be 34D and 32DD). If you saw me in public, you wouldn’t look twice at my boobs. The difference is that they’re no longer down by my knees, because I’ve got a smaller band that keeps them properly supported.

    3) I roughly figured out my band size by measuring around my ribs, under my boobs. There’s an old way to do it where you add inches to the back measurement: don’t. It doesn’t work for other clothes (imagine pants!) and it won’t work for bras.

    4) My old cup size was too small for me because it didn’t hold all my boob. If there’s any soft tissue coming out (check the sides), the cup’s probably too small.

    Since this is a site for teenage girls who might just be getting into bras, I am flat-out begging you to consider that there are ordinary-looking cup sizes above a D. There are brands out there that go to K and beyond, and enough people to keep them in business. Anyone reading this and sharing the pain of big boobs: there are a lot of blogs where you can see photos of what proper cup sizes look like.

  18. avatar Valerie says:

    Honestly ,boobs are boobs embrace your body now or you never will. Enjoy the body your momma gave you. Because she couldn’t have done a better job no matter what.

  19. avatar Pragz kitten says:

    Yeh we all gals do have a love/hate relatioon wid boobs bt u know boobs should be of an appropriate size bt sometime its nt in our hands to maintain the size.

  20. avatar Niko says:

    I have 34D boobs as well, but I don’t like them at all. However because I’m really curvy, I’m sorta grateful for that. When I was 11, I had C cups, and I swear I hated them back then as well XD
    Clothing is problematic too, but I try not to worry as much.

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