Detention–we’ve all been there. (It’s nothing like The Breakfast Club!) Can you die from boredom? Detention genuinely makes me think so. Sitting in a room, forced to be quiet, not allowed to do ANYTHING. It’s not fair, all I did was check my Facebook status for, like, one second during class. The 5 people you meet in detention are always the same. No matter what school you go to, whether it’s city or suburb, elementary or high school, the same kinds of people are always in detention. In case you’ve never been (lucky you) or you’re an old visitor (oh, nostalgia!) we’ve provided a quick and easy introduction to the 5 people you’ll always see behind those wooden desk.
The Outraged Prep
We all know this one. Instead of sitting down and shutting up, she has to turn a petty pink slip into a Supreme Court case. “Me? In the detention?! When my parents–no–when my lawyers hear about this you’ll be filling out paperwork for the judge, NOT pink slips!” Instead of suing, her parents feel bad that her teacher
got her into trouble and buy her an iPad.
You always want to feel bad for them but . . . nothing is actually happening. “Oh, no, but you don’t understand! My mom is going to KILL me. No, you don’t know how she is. I’m going to be grounded for the rest of my life.” Never. Grounded. Ever.
You’d think this kid was secretly a genius, if they weren’t in detention with you. I mean, if they could actually find ways around the system they wouldn’t be able to get caught, right? Still, the cunning mastermind is always plotting, scheming and devising plans to break out of detention, frame a teacher, or pull some serious pranks. “I’m not even supposed to be here. Watch . . .” By the time they can think of a good idea detention is usually over.
You don’t know what they did this time, but there’s always that one kid who’s in here everyday. Did they just do one REALLY bad thing that got them detention for life? Or are they just constantly stealing hall passes? All I know is that whenever I ask, so what did you do this time
they always say the same thing, “None of your business, God!” Then they either try to sneak text or fall asleep.
There’s always the one couple with the overactive libido. They can’t seem to keep their hands off of each other and don’t mind the world knowing just how much they love each other. “Really, you’re going to put us in detention for BEING IN LOVE? Do you HATE LOVE? Do you have something against
love?” The principal probably doesn’t have anything against love, just dry humping in the broom closet . . .
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