My Boyfriend Cheated On Me – Should I Forgive Him?

Hi Heather,I was in a relationship for three years, and it ended four months ago. The reason it ended was because my boyfriend cheated on me with another girl. He was sleeping with her for almost three months before I found out.

Four months have passed, and he is still begging me for forgiveness and another chance to make things right. Should I believe him? Should I give him another chance? I’m soooo confused. Help!

I can’t tell you what decision to make here, but I can give you a little bit of guidance. I’m not going to lie, taking back a boyfriend who has cheated on you can be super difficult. Once someone you love has broken your trust and betrayed you, it can be really hard emotionally to give them another chance. It’s definitely something you need to put a lot of thought into.

Ask yourself these questions: Are you really ready to forgive your ex? Are you ready to rebuild the trust you once had in him? Are you still angry at him for what he did? Has he done anything to prove to you that he deserves to earn your trust back?

Even though it’s been four months, it’s totally fine to still be mad at him or to still feel really hurt. If you’re still holding onto to those angry feelings, you have two choices: continue to be mad and stay away from him, or put the past behind you and move forward. There’s no right or wrong answer – you have to go with your gut.

Keep in mind that relationships are built on trust and loyalty. If you feel like trusting your ex is impossible, then there’s no point in getting back together with him. If you feel like it’s possible in the future, then give yourself time and let him know he’s going to have to work to earn your forgiveness and trust.

It’s okay to take back a cheater in some scenarios. However, in this case and in my opinion, this dude isn’t worth your time. He made the decision to go behind your back for months at a time. He lied to you for a long time, and there’s a huge chance he’ll do it again. Unless he proves that he’s going to change, you shouldn’t waste your time.

take care,
Heather

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Shelley Dustin

    Me & my boyfriend was planning to get married last month, just last week we had some argument that made him get angry on me just because of the argument, he said we will not be married again and the next day he left me and we broke up. I still loved him and I wanted him to marry me, for me to get him back i had no choice than to contacted dr.marnish@ yahoo. com to help me and he helped me to bring my lover back to me so we can continue our plan to be married. he came back after 3 days
    Shelley Dustin
    Spain

  • Chantell

    I am so confused i dont know what way i should go. My storry is abit long but, ill shorten it . 4 years ago i met this guy he was a friend of my current bf at that stage so we started falling inlove we ended up dating but, i cheated on him with my x bf (the one i dated before we fell inlove) so i told him about it he forgave me things happened bad and we broke up because his parents did not like me at all but, we never broke contact and we always had sex … He dated other girls and i dated other boys but, we still had to much feelings for one another so i just never gave up on him … We finally got back together after 4 years i went to talk to his parents so we were ready to date again… Until one week-end he gave another girl a lift and they slept together he even had to pay her for the sex… I have no idea what i should do as he has forgiven me before but, i realy dont know if i can trust him again… so sad

  • Chrissy

    Well, trusting a cheater again really is hard to do…I once dated this guy and on the first week he cheated on me. i found out because i was so happy that i told his best friend and his best friend told me that he wasn’t dating me but he was dating this other girl named Katie. I have to admit that it hurt soooo much because… he was my best friend.. i trusted him and he blew it. In the end i decided to give him a second chance and realized that that second chance that i gave him at that moment when i had the choices to either forgive him, move on, and continue to date him or to break up with him was so vital in my life. It basically changed me because that guy was so special to me i don’t think i will ever be able to live without him. I dated him for 3 and a half yeas until we had to break up because of his parents (his mother is very over protective as well as mine). I learned that i should always give people second chances if and only if my heart is telling me to. At that time it as telling me to forgive him. And i was completely right to. even though i am with someone else i still love him because he was my first love ever…. After i forgave him i must admit… he did cheat on me again…but that was only because we were going through that problem stage in our relationship where people try to break you apart… we got through it together… :) miss you 4ever&always

  • Micha

    I dated a cheater and it’s very difficult. As much as I wanted to trust him again it was almost impossible. If he were to go out with his friends I would wonder if he was actually with them or with another girl. It’s been a year since we broke up and he cheats on his current gf, well atleast he tries to cheat on her with me. So I know I made the right choice by not giving him another chance. If a guy gets a chance to cheat he usually takes it.

  • Cheatedtotears

    It’s really hard to be in a relationship with someone who’s cheated on you. Especially because of trust. For me, when my boyfriend cheated, I was awestruck. I had no clue what do to, because he was my best friend and I trusted him with my life. We’d been together almost a year, and he kissed a friend of mine, which didn’t exactly soften the blow. I forgave him, but the idea of trusting him again was hard to sink into. The thought that he might stray again loomed over me, and I just couldn’t deal with it. It really depends on situation, but sometimes the best solution is just to end it, before you get hurt again. To this day we’re still best friends, but trust with anything to do with him is still hard. Trust your gut is absolutely right.

  • love?

    you never take back a cheater,once a cheater always a cheater i know itll hurt,and i know they look so hot but dont give in theyll hurt you so many more times girls stay strong God loves you :)