What’s Your Number? The “Perfect” Number of Sex Partners Revealed!

average number of partners sex partners whats your number

Instead of freaking out over her number of sex partners, he just looks pretty stoked to be among them. | Source: Shutterstock

If you’re wondering what the perfect number of sex partners is, fear not! A new study has your answer.

A survey on SeekingArrangement.com, which is essentially a sugar daddy dating website, asked 1,000 users what their ideal number of sex partners is, and the number was a “perfect 10.” Apparently if you bone fewer than 10 people, you’re seen as inexperienced and likely to be crappy in bed, while anything higher than that means you’re promiscuous and that people will supposedly look down on you. According to the study, men were harsher on promiscuity than women were. (Big surprise in a world where Rush Limbaugh thinks that the more sex you have, the more birth control pills you need. Sorry bro, it’s a lot different from cholesterol pill dosage . . . but we digress.)

So, just to reiterate: A sugar daddy website polled a few people to ask what the acceptable or average number of partners is, and now apparently anyone (especially females!) who’s slept with more than 10 people is an undesirable slut, and anyone who hasn’t is a prude with no boudoir skills whatsoever. And that’s supposed to matter to us.

Guess what? It doesn’t. And it shouldn’t.

Your “number” is your business. As long as you’ve got a clean bill of health and you and your partner or partners (whatever floats your boat, girl!) are all on the same page, the number of sex partners you’ve had in your life is no one’s business but your own. Whether you’ve slept with one or 100 people, that’s your business and not a survey’s, a guy’s, or anyone else’s. If anyone asks, you are not obligated to tell them, nor are they obligated to tell you their own.

average number of partners sex partners whats your number

We love Anna Faris, but we’re not shocked that “What’s Your Number?” flopped. Because your number is irrelevant! | Source: Shutterstock


There’s a lot more that goes into choosing sex partners than how many other sex partners someone has had. Trust, attraction, an emotional connection, and some degree of comfort are all a lot more important than a tally of notches in a bedpost, and having a ton of experience doesn’t necessarily mean someone is good at something, and doing something once doesn’t mean you’re not amazing at it. Don’t believe me? Think of it this way: I had to retake algebra a few times, because guess what? I suck at algebra. As a result, I have a lot of experience with algebra, but I still suck at algebra. However, the first time I had to do pullups in gym class, I friggin’ killed it. I don’t do pullups often, though, because, well, I don’t enjoy them that much.

Just because someone has knocked boots with 42 partners doesn’t mean they’re better in bed than someone who’s still a virgin and hasn’t met the right person to wow just yet. And anyone who judges you based on your sexual experience or inexperience probably isn’t someone you’d want to hop into bed with in the first place, because really–if they’re going to get all pissy over a number, how are you going to be able to have a normal discussion about what you’re into? If someone is uptight about the number of sex partners you have or haven’t had, they’re likely the ones to be bad in the sack and people you want to avoid.

Do you think your number of sex partners is a big deal? Do you think there’s an ideal number of sex partners? Would a guy or girl’s number of partners influence whether or not you sleep with them? Tell us in the comments!

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24 Comments

  1. avatarSelf-respect says:

    The number matters to me. I am not saying that it is wrong to have many sexual partners if that is your thing…but to me it is a clear reflection of who you are and who you are likely to be. It says, you have little discipline. It strongly suggests that you lack self-esteem. It says you don’t view your body or your sexuality as precious…and if you don’t view it as precious, why would I?

    I recently ended a relationship when discovered the woman I had been dating for 2 years had been with 26 men…that was 14 more than she had disclosed when we first met. Some here have suggested that your number is nobody’s business. I disagree with that (and I am just disagreeing…I am not telling you that you are wrong to hold that belief…I just don’t share your belief). I don’t believe that zebras change their stripes too often. Yes you could find examples of incredible people that have undergone some incredible transformation. But I think that, generally, people are who they are and that their unlikely to deviate from a behavioural pattern from which they have derived a certain amount of pleasure. So, if you have not been discerning in your attitude towards choosing who you share your precious gift of sexuality with, and/or you have derived a great deal of pleasure from engaging in sex with many different partners, I believe (supported by multiple studies) that you are much more likely to continue to engage in that activity, in or out of a committed relationship.

    So, for me, I need to know the number. I agree that I shouldn’t judge the person for their number…to each their own. But I should be able to judge whether that person is right for me. And the number IS a significant factor in making such judgment.

  2. avatarFreedom says:

    Honestly, I do whatever I want to when I feel like it. Although I have tried many trousers in my very young life, this does not define me. So I have desires, who does not? Yet I have found love, and lost it, and found it again. Sex has nothing to do with who you are, it is a simple physical need. And why not have sex? As long as you use protection and feel safe doing it, why shouldn’t you?

    There are a lot of opinions out there, and this is mine. But despite what everyone thinks; it is your own business. My number has reached what I (!!) thinks is a bit much in MY (!!) opinion. I still have the confidence I have always have, and is still the same person I always was. It did not change me, neither will it ever change me. So why does it count?

  3. avatarlill says:

    I’m 19 and have had four sexual partners, the first being a boyfriend of six months. Sex was something I used to think would be magical and shared between two people in love. And yes, that could be the case BUT I don’t believe that it always has to be. Sex is viewed however you choose to view it, and imo having sex with many partners doesn’t make you any less of a person. It is simply an activity that doesn’t change who you are any more than golfing does. I have many close friends who are amazing people but they enjoy having sex. What is wrong with that? NOTHING! It aggravates me when women are called sluts. That shouldn’t be acceptable. They are simply humans with wants and desires, and in most cases are more in touch with who they are. Don’t ever call a woman disgusting for doing something that makes her happy. Life is way too short for judgement or even caring about what others think about you. Gals keep going on witcha bad selfs

  4. avatarHarsh says:

    I don’t quite see how people choosing to have or not have sex with various partners affects anyone other then the consenting parties. Why would anyone feel the need to demean and degrade anyone for choices that have absolutely nothing to do with them? If it’s not you’re preference, great, but step off your high horse and realize your way is not the only way, and may not be the best way. Treating people like garbage, in my book, is disgusting.

  5. avatarbella says:

    sure sleep with whoever just dont go blaming big pharma for the awful side effects youre getting from your HIV prescription and yes you are the reasons drug companies make lotsa money !. whore on! whore on you filth

  6. avatarmagical girl says:

    I think this generation are a bunch of whores and this site is basically telling you to have sex.

  7. avatarAnn says:

    I must admit I LOVE sex. I feel bad for people who don’t know what it’s like. But those who judge need to think that it could be more than just sleeping around. I have no emotion in it because I was raped as a teenager and the way I see it is if somebody can just take that from you then how could it be so “special”. To me, sex it just sex. It doesn’t mean anything. And I have no problem meeting men. So if you want to judge them judge, just think that sometimes, there might be more to the story.

  8. avatarKon Karne says:

    sexual freedom is a beautiful thing girls. like someone commented earlier, once you are married you’re not going to be able to explore all spectrums of sexuality. it’s a really beautiful, great, freeing thing to find out what makes you feel good. sex is wonderful, and it makes two people happy. i have slept with around 15 or 20 guys, im 18, and i dont regret one because i bonded with each one, and they all gave me a little piece of themselves as did i. kind of like exchanging gifts,making each other feel good. also, its helped me find out what i do and dont like for my body. it gets me more in touch with my body. fuck yes, have sex, make love, spread love. wear a condom though. thats all that really matters

  9. avatarhypocrite says:

    I just recently found out that the girl I like and have been getting to know for the past month has been with almost 60 men. That’s almost 4 times my number. Her number bothers the hell out of me but I don’t want it to. I placed my name as hypocrite because I have been with two women since I first met her and have a friend with benefits I still see. we are not dating but I think I’d like to date her in which case I would be monogamous with her but how do I get over the fact her number is so high? Any advice?

    • avatarNykki says:

      Who cares what her number is. People live theikr lives by their own rules as long as she is healthy the what matters? There are a number of reason for why her number is almost 60. If you aren’t secure enough in yourself to look past that then you might need to look in the mirror to find out what is really wrong here.

      • avatarStefan says:

        Dear lord. Girl sleeps with 60 guys! And you say the problem is in the guy who likes her? My friend, if you’re reading this stay away from her. If you’re number 61, there is all chances there is going to be a 62. It’s a world of pain if you want anything more than sex….

  10. avatarEric says:

    “It’s their body, they can do as they choose.” That’s the exact type of mentality that’s destroying this society right now… Everything in this society has become about “me”… what feels good to “me”, what “I” want to do, what “I” think, what “I” believe, “I” deserve to be this and that, “I” have the right to do this and that… me, me, me, me, me….

    that kinda mentality makes a person no more than a dog.. the very purpose of their life is to be pleased and die when time comes… eat, sleep, have sex and die… is that why you’re alive today? Please, have a sense of purpose and meaning for your life…

    • avatarAundrea says:

      Eric, having a sense of purpose and meaning is also about “me”, in your life. One’s life revolves around their own persona. What you are promoting is synonim with the daily brainwash television and media offers. :) Well, you are far from the truth!

  11. avatarPrincess says:

    I whish u cud just listen 2 my advise just ve sex with de one u cant live without

  12. avatarWill says:

    Have some self respect for your body, I don’t understand why people have sex when they are not in a relationship…sex means nothing theses days, it should be shared between 2 people that like/love each other. Also, studies have shown that the more partners you have, the more likely you will cheat in the future…intuitively this makes sense because sex has no value and the fact that you are so used to having multiple partners…You “liberated” feminists scare me, seeing how our culture has turned into what it is…truly disgusting

  13. avatarJenny says:

    I am 16 and I have sex a lot and with a lot of different guys. I have sex with a specific type of guy: muscly, buff, heavy, huge and strong. They are the guys I’m attracted to and are the only guys I have sex with. Quality over quantity but in my case I get both. If you want to save yourself for that special person then by all means but I’m one of those people who go out looking for someone to go have sex with.

  14. avataritzel_ovo says:

    I hate it when people judge you over a number! I think its childish just like high school. Its your body enjoy it be confident! Plus once your married you can’t cheat or expirence your sexual life! And then how would you know what you like and what you don’t like?

  15. avatarSarah says:

    I don’t think Liberty or indeed Cowboy Chasing have the right to judge others. Liberty is not correct in saying that anyone is disgusting, no matter how many people they may have slept with. She should also remember that saving yourself for the guy you want to marry, while admirable to some, won’t always have a fairytale ending. What if he only married you to take your virginity then dumps you? What if he dies? What if you get divorced ten years down the road? Unless you take a vow of celibacy, you WILL end up sleeping with at least one other person.

    I am 19 and I am a virgin. I don’t judge those who sleep with 100 guys and I don’t judge those who don’t sleep with any: Liberty, neither should you. No one is forcing you to not save yourself for marriage.

  16. avatarCowboy Chasing says:

    I agree with Liberty!! Im 18 and a virgin and there’s nothin wrong with that! Some guys even think it’s a turn on when they hear a girl’s a virgin

    • avatarCass says:

      But, if you work out constantly and run a lot you will get tight and its like your a virgin again, cause honestly I’m always told “your so tight” just saying

  17. avatarLiberty says:

    This is disgusting, save yourself for the guy you want to marry, do not go around sleeping with ten different guys!

    • avatarZoZo says:

      It’s their body, they can do as they choose. You can save yourself for your husband, they can have sex with whoever they want. We shouldn’t care unless they’re harming themselves or others with their actions, and they probably aren’t. I personally believe that you should give away your virginity to someone you love, marriage or not. The point is it’s their business.
      I do commend you for sticking to what you believe though; some don’t have the strength to do that.

    • avatarMichhelle says:

      Why do you think sex is disgusting? That’s kinda messed up, just cuz you’re ashamed of human sexuality don’t expect others. Ain’t nothing wrong with saving yourself but theres alot wrong with being a pretentious bitch.

      People like you are the reason there is a double standard between men and woman and I’m sad to think you’ll never understand just how stupid you sound because well you’re too stupid.

    • avatarCass says:

      Pretty sure when you get married and he doesn’t hit your right spot … Your going to be like TEMPTATION (movie) and I will laugh

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