10 Gross Old School Toys

Slime, Gak, Ooze, words us ’90s kids look back on fondly. In retrospect they were sort of . . . gross. Though, let’s face it, gross stuff is awesome when you’re a kid. The ’80s and ’90s were full of creepy, squishy, disfigured monster toys that squirted, dripped, and puked up a ton of vile substances our imaginations couldn’t get enough of. What was really gross about these was how messy they actually were. I remember scraping this stuff off the floor and my mom saying, “Never again!”

Get ready to get grossed out–’90s style–with these 10 yucky toys.

Gak

First of all, what is this stuff actually made of? It can be squirted, it can blow into a bubble, it can make fart noises! Mostly though, when I had it, it just got dirt and dust bunnies all over it.

The Oozinator

This has to be the yuckiest. Instead of a Super Soaker, this water gun changes the texture of the water so that it’s sticky and white. And, um, you have to pump it really fast to get the, um, sticky, white stuff out.

Creepy Crawlers

Who wouldn’t want to create insects and bugs to play with. You know, we love it when bugs are in our homes . . . crawling around, laying eggs . . . so much fun!

Dreadful Lab

This was actually cool because you could eat the nasty stuff you made. What’s actually gross about it was how sticky the left over sugar got and how it became infested with ants when I left it under my bed that summer.

Blurp Balls

Ugly, rubber balls that fire ugly, rubber vomit balls at you. I’ll take twenty!

Monster Face

“Monster Face” is a pretty accurate name for this toy. Whoever came up with the yucky version of Mr. Potato Head is a genius. Who knew popping the pimples of a demonic creature could be so rewarding?

Queasy Bake Oven

It’s funny that it’s the exact same thing as the Easy Bake Oven they just had to make it “gross” so that boys will play with it. Instead of doing women’s work like baking cookies, you create “dog biscuits”. The subliminal message here is what’s grossest of all.

Eat At Ralphs

Why am I feeding this man just so he will vomit on me?

Floam

Yeah, it looks sweet and innocent, but I am still suspicious. How can it be so flexible, yet hold together so well? Looks like witchcraft to me, yup.

Attack Pack Sliminator

Why would I want to drip nasty, slime all over my cars. Is my mom going to clean them afterward? I bet that slime gets trapped in the wheels and then they stop rolling so well.

Which gross toys did you own in the 1990s? Let us know in the comments!

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21 Comments

  1. avatarboyontheinside says:

    why do i want everything here except for the floam? the oozinator is just frikkin funny for a party and the queasy bake, makes stuff thats cooler than frilly cakes i really want monster face!!

  2. avatarJenna says:

    Remember Squand, the sculpting sand toy u make underwater, but take it out,s and its completely dry !!! I thought the ad was hilarous !

  3. avatarnyia says:

    wow i want gak

  4. avatarLaurence says:

    I had one of those Creepy Crawlies making kit when I was in elementary school in around 2005, I think? So it’s not actually that old, and making and baking insects is FUN! (Just kidding)

  5. avatarBrit says:

    My floam sucked. It never stayed together. Anyone remember moonsand?

  6. avatardelani says:

    GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. avatarsarah says:

    i hate floam. its like stirafoam (dont know how to spell that) but with sticky stuff holding it together. i bought some from a quarter machine and it was a complete rip off.

  8. avatarCevanah says:

    I had Floam…I HATED IT >:(

  9. avatarroselove445 says:

    that gun that made water into white sticky stuff i mean come on we all know what inspired that

  10. avatarElizabethIrene says:

    Honestly. I loved the Floam toys….even though they smelled kinda funny.

    I thought they were cool! ^.^

  11. avatarSomebody Awesome. says:

    There was this one toy, where there’s alien bugs, and a dissecting kit, you had a knife and you cut them open on their abdomen. Then they bled weird colorful ooze. I forget what it’s called though.

  12. avatarChelsea says:

    I remeber having Gak, Floam and playing with my cousins pig blurp ball. lol 90′s was an interesting time.

  13. avatarKim says:

    Ralph is bulimic.
    I like Floam, though.

  14. avatarAlice W. says:

    I had Gak, Floam, and Smud (the forgotten about Nickelodeon squishy product). I also had a Creepy Crawlers machine. I remember really wanting it.

  15. avatarsir awesome says:

    i made a floam ocarina and it workrd perfectly

  16. avatarTrendyNerdLuvMB says:

    These arent even school toys either…

    just saying.

  17. avatarTrendyNerdLuvMB says:

    I know you were thinking wrong in the second commercial. Nasty lady…

    8^1

  18. avatar4evrmileyfan13 says:

    I remember Floam. I used 2 play w/ it when I was 6. But it dried a little too fast, which got on my nerves.

    • avatarmishka says:

      Dude, Floam isn’t even that old. As for the GAK.. I remember that. It was so fun, but way too messy.

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