Boards
As terrifying as it was to think about graduating from college and joining the real world for reals, one thing I wasn’t about to miss was homework. I mean, don’t you already spend enough hours IN school learning stuff? Then all your after-school time is taken up by more school? So not fair! I also wasn’t I ever particularly fond of telling the truth about my study habits. Here are some of the lies about homework I told the main peeps in my life. Which ones do you use?
Using it to Your Advantage:
She said: Mom I have a study session with my Poli Sci group at noon—there’s, like, no way I can help Dad wash the car.
She meant: By “poli sci” I mean my BFF and by “study session” I mean hit up Forever 21 to scout some cute outfits for the first football game of the year.
To Your Teacher:
She said: Mrs. Kugel, I’m volunteering this weekend at the women’s shelter—is there any way I could turn in my essay on Tuesdaqy instead of Monday? Pleeeaaaase?
She said: Saturday I’m volunteering. But Sunday I’m devoting to topping off my tan—it’s going to be 87 outside!
To Your Boyfriend:
She said: Nick, I’m serious this time I have to finish this chem. chapter—no hanky panky!
She meant: Finished it ages ago. I just want to see what kind of compliments you’ll throw out to entice me out of these jeans!
To Your BFF:
She said: You’re going shopping? Wahhhh I want to go but if I don’t’ study for the quiz tomorrow I’m so screwed.
She meant: Clearly I’m waiting for you to offer to buy me a bag of candy from Sweet Factory…and let me cheat off you tomorrow!
When Someone Sees What You’re Googling
She said: Um yes these Ryan Lochte pictures are for school. It’s my history project on notable Americans.
She said: I suppose I could’ve chosen someone supposedly more important like Andrew Hamilton or General MacArthur…but did they look good shirtless? NO. Plus now I’l have an icebreaker when I meet him! Sooooo efficient.
Planning Ahead
She said: Ooo–*cough cough*–I think I’m might be getting sick, Mr. Hudson. What if I can’t come to class tomorrow?! Is there any work I should know about? You know, just to be prepared.
She meant: Yeah I’m sick…with VEGAS FEVER, BABY!
Want To Really Get Better Grades? Here’s How
Can You Trust Him?
Volunteering…That’s a good one, ta!