From The Message Boards: Can Boys and Girls Ever Be Just Friends?

This is a question that seems to be coming up over and over again: Can boys and girls really ever be just friends? I’ve heard a lot of different opinions. Most guys I know say that it’s not possible – that one of them will always want to be something more. But at the same time, a lot of girls I know say it’s totally possible.

So we’re coming to you guys for opinions. We saw this post in the message boards and wanted to see what more of you thought: can guys and girls ever have a totally platonic relationship? Or will there always be the hint of something romantic? Read what these girls had to say and then tell us what you think in the comments.

booklover93 asked:
Do you believe that males and females can’t really be just friends? Why or why not?

YOLO-Cupcake said:
I’ve asked myself the exact question. And I’ve come to a sort of conclusion. I think that yes, you can be friends or best friends with a guy, but that it will never be just that. I have a guy best friend and he is in love with me.

Selo94 said:
Yes they can. I have a ton of friends who are guys – we eat lunch together, play video games at each other’s houses, have deep philosophical conversations about everything. But I’d never date them. I don’t feel that way about them at all. Maybe it’s easier not to because we all hang out in a group, but they’re not my type, and most of them don’t want a girlfriend or anything anyway.

In fact, because we’re so close without a hint of hidden feelings, we find it easy to talk about sex and such very matter-of-factly. It’s funny that most of the people I know who say guys and girls can’t be just friends are, in fact, guys themselves. One of my ex-BFs still gets jealous when I talk about male friends at all because he just can’t fathom that there wouldn’t be something more.

My opinion? Being just friends with a member of the opposite sex is possible – although it can definitely be difficult for some people. When your close to someone who you think has an awesome personality, it can be easy to start to fall for them and blur the lines between friendship and more than that. Sometimes it’s really easy to confuse your platonic feelings with romantic feelings. But even if it’s not the most common thing in the world, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen.

Who do you agree with? Do you have guy friends who you don’t like? Do you think it’s possible? Tell us in the comments!

 

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55 Comments

  1. avatarpinkfloyd16 says:

    well im a guy, and i find it would be hard for it to work as a long standing friendship without one liking the other, and i will admit it is normally us guys that screw things up because we fall for our best friend. it happened to me ive been friends with this girl since 7th grade, we have told each other everything, and well one day i told her i liked her, i was expecting mutual feelings but sadly she didnt feel the same, i thought of it as a minor bump in the road, were still best friends but things changed that day, shes been recently ignoring me or talk short phrases, which is really abnormal since we would talk in depth all the time, im willing to admit that i screwed up but its was the way i felt and still kinda do, anyways my advice to girls is too to plz not push us away if we like or liked you, its our feelings

  2. avatarLauren says:

    It is impossible. Even though a guy may say he doesn’t like you he does. You may try to drown your feelings but they will resurface. At some point he will realize he likes you but hides because he doesn’t want to ruin things. Almost all of my friends are guys and I recently found out my very close ones have major crushes on me, and a few of the not as close ones. Some I have feelings for. I try to hide it but they bubble out sometimes. It phisacly hurts to hide emotions. But I’m not giving up on our friendships.

  3. avatarMaddie says:

    I have the same exact problem as the first girl on there, my very best guy friend is in love with me and I have a boyfriend (not to mention my boyfriend and him are friends) yikes. Most of my guy friendships workout though.

  4. avatarNicole says:

    Well ya they can but sooner or later one is going to fall for the other. simple as that

  5. avatarG says:

    Selo94 how about you just hit your friends with a baseball bat.

  6. avatarAaliya says:

    I think yes, they can, but there will always be atleast a little spark of romance.

  7. avatarTheresa says:

    I don’t believe it’s possible. But that’s probably because I’m coming from the negative end of the spectrum. My best friend is a guy, and I am completely in love with him. But he only sees me as a friend. Like the article said, it’s easy to blur the lines, and when that happens, it hurts the one who has romantic feelings. I sometimes wish I wasn’t so close of a friend with him now, but as long as we’re friends, I’m going to have feelings for him. So I honestly don’t think it’s possible for girls and guys to be ‘just friends.’

  8. avatarLilli says:

    It is possible! My befriend is a guy, he has a girlfriend so I know I’ve been “friendzoned” by him. But I’ve also friendzoned him. We have so much in common and are such good friends that I could never fathom being more than friends and would never want to hurt our friendship. Plus he’s in “love” with this girl.

  9. avatarRyan says:

    I do not believe so, im a sucker for women and if you know that you fall for them easy, you learn to stay away from them and distance yourself to avoid the awkward moments. But i do see a common pattern from women who believe that these friendships can work, but not for everybody.

  10. avatarVicki says:

    Totally possible. At one point or another you may consider them as more than a friend because when two people get that close it is a normal thing to consider. That is the time whether you find out if you are more than friends or just friends. The majority of my friends have always been guys and I have yet to date any of them. I don’t think friendship should be based on gender. I personally think it is a stupid thing to even ask if girls and guys can be just friends. Can people be just friends? Yes. Therefore guys and girls can be just friends.

  11. avatarNick says:

    wow seems like there are a lot of girls here haha …

    well I just wanted to add that women are beautiful … they are priceless works of art that are forbidden to enjoy … I say forbidden because you have to be in a relationship to really truely enjoy them … it’s like going out with Mona Lisa … I may sound like a pig when I say this and I really try not to but maybe that’s why they are always captured in art … on man wanted everyone in the world to see this beautiful wife so he painted her for everyone to enjoy … looks aside their personalities vary which can make for great conversations (or bad ones depending on who you are talking to) … to me women are intelligent, spunky and beautiful enigmas that my male brain cannot comprehend … if you hate me for saying that I enjoy women’s beauty then go right a head … but I just don’t date for you looks … I’m dating my girlfriend because she helps me for my flaws and I help her … we have something through a relationship that we could never have as “just friends”

  12. avatarCaroline says:

    I think that it’s totally possible to be friends with the opposite sex, just because my number one best friend is a guy. I think that it’ possible just because we can talk about who we think is pretty or cute without getting jealous of them. I don’t know how it exactly works, but I think there has to be something there preventing you from liking them, or you accidentally friendzone them, and they get used to it. I think that only in some occasions they secretly have a crush on them, but in very true friendships, they truly care about the person without liking them in that way

  13. avatarRyan says:

    “When your close to someone who you think has an awesome personality”
    When you’re*
    Please use grammar correctly. I could likely be your friend because you’re the type of person who doesn’t use your grammar correctly.
    (Get it yet? You’re is you + are and your is possessive?)
    P.S. Don’t forget that punctuation like comma (,) and period (.) go INSIDE the end of a quote! He said, “Something,” while she retorted, “Example.”

  14. avatarMe says:

    The only reason a guy is friends with a girl it’s because he is in love with her!

  15. avatarshshahdhkdkkdrh says:

    Heck yea guys and girls can be just friends, and its good to have feelings for them to.a best friend is the perfect person to marry.

  16. avatarrandomly says:

    I’m a girl and my best friend is a guy. We’ve been best friends for the past 17 years, we get a few ‘ooh are you dating???”‘s but we’ve known each other for so long, we grew up practically side by side and he’s like a brother to me. We talk and argue like siblings. So yeah i believe a girl and a guy can defiantly be ‘just friends’.

  17. avatarNeki Nilla says:

    I have tons of guy friends! I mean, I also have a boyfriend, but I have guy friends and sometimes I hang out with more guys than I do girls. Not to mention throughout my life I have had really close guy friends, one I even consider my brother. Lot’s of girls say having guy friends is just less drama, and I can kind of agree. It’s nice to be one of the guys, but I like to be one of the girls too. But the point is, yes, you can be just friends!

  18. avatarTracie says:

    I have been friends with this one guy for 6 years…i always thought he’ll ask me out sad to say i am the one you just want to be more than friends…

  19. avatarJohn Doe says:

    No, unless the guy is gay, any guy who who’s freinds with a girl started to be freinds with them usssually because they were atleast a bit attracted to them and the more you know the person its easier to fall in love.

  20. avatarSunny says:

    i believe that guys and girls can be friends if one or both of them are gay its possible but i do believe that in a period of time one of them is going to want to be more than friends. I also believe that a guy friend or a girl friend can always have a great relationship than a random friend. :D

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