From The Message Boards: Can Boys and Girls Ever Be Just Friends?

This is a question that seems to be coming up over and over again: Can boys and girls really ever be just friends? I’ve heard a lot of different opinions. Most guys I know say that it’s not possible – that one of them will always want to be something more. But at the same time, a lot of girls I know say it’s totally possible.

So we’re coming to you guys for opinions. We saw this post in the message boards and wanted to see what more of you thought: can guys and girls ever have a totally platonic relationship? Or will there always be the hint of something romantic? Read what these girls had to say and then tell us what you think in the comments.

booklover93 asked:
Do you believe that males and females can’t really be just friends? Why or why not?

YOLO-Cupcake said:
I’ve asked myself the exact question. And I’ve come to a sort of conclusion. I think that yes, you can be friends or best friends with a guy, but that it will never be just that. I have a guy best friend and he is in love with me.

Selo94 said:
Yes they can. I have a ton of friends who are guys – we eat lunch together, play video games at each other’s houses, have deep philosophical conversations about everything. But I’d never date them. I don’t feel that way about them at all. Maybe it’s easier not to because we all hang out in a group, but they’re not my type, and most of them don’t want a girlfriend or anything anyway.

In fact, because we’re so close without a hint of hidden feelings, we find it easy to talk about sex and such very matter-of-factly. It’s funny that most of the people I know who say guys and girls can’t be just friends are, in fact, guys themselves. One of my ex-BFs still gets jealous when I talk about male friends at all because he just can’t fathom that there wouldn’t be something more.

My opinion? Being just friends with a member of the opposite sex is possible – although it can definitely be difficult for some people. When your close to someone who you think has an awesome personality, it can be easy to start to fall for them and blur the lines between friendship and more than that. Sometimes it’s really easy to confuse your platonic feelings with romantic feelings. But even if it’s not the most common thing in the world, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen.

Who do you agree with? Do you have guy friends who you don’t like? Do you think it’s possible? Tell us in the comments!

 

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55 Comments

  1. avatarKinley says:

    Definitely! My guy friend has been with me since 1st grade, along with a few other guy friends. I mean, I have had a crush on one of them, but that’s totally normal, right?

  2. avatarprince says:

    Yeah, it can exist. If u have a lot in common

  3. avatarAmethyst says:

    Yes I believe they can.My best friend is a guy and we have been friends for years now.

  4. avatarpeace says:

    Yes i do believe its possible because i have many guy friends even though i know almost all of them have feelings for me i told them that we can just be friends and only friends and they understand. So yes they can be friends but after a period of time you all start to get a little closer and soon have stronger feelings each other than before. then, you realize that if you want to stay friends you cant date them because if you were to go out and then break up that would mess up your friendship. 9 times out of 10

  5. avatarEllie7 says:

    YEESSSS!!!!!!!!!! I have been best friends with a boy named Ryan for 8 years now, and he is just amazing!! We fightlike best friends but have a great time together, and tell eachother everything – like best friends. I’ve had boyfriends, he’s had girlfriends, and we’ve never ‘liked’ eachother like that before – we are just amazing friends!! :)xxxxx

  6. avatarIsa says:

    NEVER. IF YOU AND A GUY ARE FRIENDS, ONE (OR BOTH) OF YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH THE OTHER!

  7. avatarPatrina65 says:

    This article on my.gurl.com gives the light in which we can observe the reality. Best regards!

  8. avatarVanahBabe15 says:

    Never. No matter what you may say, or what you want to think, One person will ALWAYS like the other.its inevitable.

  9. avatarmisslmh11 says:

    I asked myself this loads last year, especially after watching this video on YouTube by Spoken Reasons, here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-tJSvlZ868&feature=plcp. According to him, that there is no guy that has a girl who is “just a friend” who hasn’t thought about having sex with her. To me, this makes a lot of friend. I have a guy who has been my best friend since the 9th grade, and it wasn’t until he stood in the front of the classroom one day during our senior year in our first period class that the fluorescent lights of the classroom lit up and accentuated his nicely developed muscles, and I realized that I found him attractive. That never changed anything between us, I just got a better understanding of why he could usually get whatever girl he wanted. But I have thought about sleeping with him a few times, and I’m pretty sure he’s done the same with me. BUT we’ve never acted on it, actually I think it’s pretty gross whenever he accidentally touches my back or anything like that. It’s weird.

    And then there’s this super cute guy that I met this year who came out to me a few weeks ago. I know that he’ll never see me as anything more than a friend, but I tell him just about everything and I’m afraid that I might start to feel too comfortable with him and might not be able to always factor in the fact that he’s not sexually or romantically attracted to girls. I mean, he’s a really good friend of mine, and I always imagine just telling him my troubles and leaning on his shoulder. I honestly can’t tell whether that’s something you do with a platonic friend at this point.

    I guess when it comes to girls and guys being just friends, the nature, length, and depth of the friendship determine whether the relationship can be completely platonic or not. I will say, however, that you shouldn’t be afraid of falling for your guy friends. Don’t some of the best romantic relationships start out as friendships?

  10. avatarSophia says:

    Sure – why not? I was friends with a boy in primary/elementry(?) school – I know that’s really young but still…

  11. avatarMimberoggerge says:

    This occurrence makes this m

  12. avatarAisyah says:

    Hi.. This is my answer about “Can Guys Be Friends With Girls”.. It is a YES!
    Actually, it’s okay to be friends with guy. But there’s a limit! You can’t be too
    close unless, you are his girlfriend.. That’s not a instruction.. It’s a warning!

  13. avatarskyler says:

    Guys and Girls can be just friends. My best friend and I have been friends since seventh grade, he’s like my brother. I can go and talk to me about anything. We joke around alot, we laugh together, I even cried when he texted me at 4am and told me he was leaving for college. So yea it is possible for guys and girls to be strictly friends.

  14. avatarMaddy says:

    My best guy friend and I have been friends since the 7th grade. Oh, he’s amazing. I don’t have any feelings romantically for him, and he doesn’t have any feelings for me. He’s actually dating one of our mutual friends. We’re really close, and we’re super comfortable with each other. I mean, sometimes when we hang out, I will just wear pajama pants and a bra. I don’t feel uncomfortable with him, or like we should be more than friends.

  15. avatarlizard says:

    i love my guy friends!!! maybe it’s different because i’m gay, but seriously, i get along better with guys, and yeah, sometimes they like me, but sooner or later, we’re just like siblings. i don’t think gender matters in friendship, it all depends on how you choose to act.

  16. avatarN says:

    Thank you for posting this! One of my best friends is named Michael and he has a gf. We hangout all the time around campus including in my dorm. We’re never really alone when we’re together, there’s always people around or nearby. Well rumors are spreading that he is cheating on his gf with me and that is definitely not true!! Now he is scared he is going to lose her so we’ve stopped hanging out and pretty much talking too. It’s really hard on both of us though because we’re really close friends and he’s the one I tell everything to that my girl-bestfriend just doesn’t understand, cause me and Michael are so much alike. I know he’s not being mean by giving us space because he really loves that girl, he wants to marry her, but it’s just been really difficult. I believe guys and girls can be just friends! Ok maybe one of them might have a crush on the other but it doesn’t mean anything is going to happen! People who think that guys and girls can’t be friends ruin relationships! As in friend or bf/gf relationships! Just look at what those people did to me and Michael…

  17. avatargirl13 says:

    Hey, well i think you can but its exceptional…….
    see, my last boyfriend was my best friend before!

  18. avatarSweettreat says:

    I notice this all the time–girls say that YES, guys and girls can be just friends. Girls often mention how they have guy friends for whom they have no feelings for, and vise versa. In my opinion, girls can have no feelings for a guy, but guys can’t be friends without having feelings. This is why most guys say NO, this type of friendship isn’t possible. Most girls think there is nothing romantic between them and their guy friends, yet in reality the guy has some sort of interest in the girl. I myself was a firm believer that YES, boys and girls can be friends with nothing else. I thought I had proof in my best guy friend of 3 years, until a couple of months ago, out of nowhere, he confessed to having liked me the whole time. Now, I see it in my friend and her guy friend, and I think guys always carry some romantic baggage in the friendship.

  19. avatarKim says:

    Two words: Gay. Guys. <3

  20. avatarBiba says:

    I have a lot of guy friends and it really is completely platonic. Only once or twice have I ever had a fleeting crush on one of them and nothing more. I think people doubt the existence of platonic boy-girl relationships because as you get closer to a person of the opposite sex, accepting them and discovering more about them, you find it difficult not to be attracted to them. However, I don’t think that’s how it always has to be. :)

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