From The Message Boards: Can Boys and Girls Ever Be Just Friends?

This is a question that seems to be coming up over and over again: Can boys and girls really ever be just friends? I’ve heard a lot of different opinions. Most guys I know say that it’s not possible – that one of them will always want to be something more. But at the same time, a lot of girls I know say it’s totally possible.

So we’re coming to you guys for opinions. We saw this post in the message boards and wanted to see what more of you thought: can guys and girls ever have a totally platonic relationship? Or will there always be the hint of something romantic? Read what these girls had to say and then tell us what you think in the comments.

booklover93 asked:
Do you believe that males and females can’t really be just friends? Why or why not?

YOLO-Cupcake said:
I’ve asked myself the exact question. And I’ve come to a sort of conclusion. I think that yes, you can be friends or best friends with a guy, but that it will never be just that. I have a guy best friend and he is in love with me.

Selo94 said:
Yes they can. I have a ton of friends who are guys – we eat lunch together, play video games at each other’s houses, have deep philosophical conversations about everything. But I’d never date them. I don’t feel that way about them at all. Maybe it’s easier not to because we all hang out in a group, but they’re not my type, and most of them don’t want a girlfriend or anything anyway.

In fact, because we’re so close without a hint of hidden feelings, we find it easy to talk about sex and such very matter-of-factly. It’s funny that most of the people I know who say guys and girls can’t be just friends are, in fact, guys themselves. One of my ex-BFs still gets jealous when I talk about male friends at all because he just can’t fathom that there wouldn’t be something more.

My opinion? Being just friends with a member of the opposite sex is possible – although it can definitely be difficult for some people. When your close to someone who you think has an awesome personality, it can be easy to start to fall for them and blur the lines between friendship and more than that. Sometimes it’s really easy to confuse your platonic feelings with romantic feelings. But even if it’s not the most common thing in the world, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen.

Who do you agree with? Do you have guy friends who you don’t like? Do you think it’s possible? Tell us in the comments!

 

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55 Comments

  1. avatar Sam (not my real name) says:

    Did you ladies not read the article, they said that they’re looking for male opinions shhhh!!

    i personally believe that guys and girls can be friends, but not best friends. My gf is very friendly and she has couple of guy friends which i find to be pretty bothersome. not because i’m jealous but because i was once one of her guy friends for close to a year before i fell in love with her and now we’re dating. For some reason she is too blind by friendliness to realize a guy a flirting with her (which i noticed during our friendship). so when her “guy friends” flirt with her she claim that its just an act of friendliness.

    long story short in a guy and girl friendship you will always find that 98% of the guys wouldn’t mind having sex with their female friend whereas less than 10% of the female would feel that way .

    when i was single i had a good amount of female friends but i would never pursuit hanging out with them and ect because i ;
    1: didnt want to have sex with them (no attraction).
    2. didnt want other girls who i did have some attraction for to think that i was dating her.
    3. didnt want her to get any feelings for me
    4. I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM ..

    guys are animals by nature……cant really do anything about it

  2. avatar hadi says:

    I don’t think that’s fair for the one who is in love. they witheld their wish just to be with her. witheld long enough, well, we go crazy ( well, i have) for my story, It end with an eternity of regret, I’m so shy to tell her, but my affection and feeling to her can be seen by all our friends. Even to the point, where one of my friend told me, that she already knew my feeling for her, but just pretending not to know, well, because, she only see me as a friend. that broke my heart. after that, when i see her, i’m sad. I know the intention is good. I try to hide my dissapointment whenever i see her ( I still hang out with her…at the time) by throwing a fake smile and less talking. Of course, most of my friend can see through me again. My friend said; “no point waiting for an unanswered call” i’m just wasting my time wishing for something unwishful. well It’s hard to for me, but he’s right. true, she cherished my friendship, but seeing her acting ignorant of my feeling, that’s painful.

    very painful indeed.

  3. avatar adara says:

    i agree 110% with selo94. She speaks the truth in every way. dont even know what else to add to what she thinks! i have a guy friend and we are super close and we DO talk about everything! even sex and shit! it OK and TOTALLY REAL. people just dont understand that there are different types of love, the love friends share.

  4. avatar trucker says:

    my best friend is a girl and our friendship means everything to me their is nothing romantic between us at all she tells me of guys she likes and i tell her of girls i like were always their for each other like friends should thats why i believe guys and girls can be just good friends plus it know that its easier for people to talk to others of the other sex anyways

  5. avatar Cellogeek says:

    I am certain its possible. I do like boys but my best friend is a boy and I cant imagine ever having feelings for him. Hes like the brother I never had! But no I definitely think its possible.

  6. avatar Ida says:

    I have a guy as my best friend since 16 years back. Despite the fact that we are totally different with one exception. We both have the nerdy side with playing video games. The thing is that we are just friends because of our childhood together and our interests of video games. Otherwise we don’t have that much in common so we could never feel different about each other just because we have different values on life, we don’t share other interests and we’re not each others types. Therefore, I don’t hug him like I do with a guy I’m in love with and have the distance just to make sure we just stay friends. And he does the same. He and I have also talked about this and he is like a brother to me and I see him as a person with no gender just because he is my friend ( I know it sounds weird but it makes it easier). And he totally feels the same way about me. We are trustful to each other and can talk about everything (that isn’t sad). So there are exceptions.

  7. avatar Felix says:

    yes! yes we can, as simple as that.

  8. avatar Arianna says:

    Well I think it can exist but it’s pretty hard not to fall in love in the end and it depends a lot on situations most times.
    When two people have a lot in common and they like being with each other they begin to feel a certain attraction that ends in having a crush. At least thats what happens to me all the time, to me and not him, clearly! Forever friendzoned!

  9. avatar Marc says:

    It’s a big issue that hits people all over the globe. Funny how some girls say it can happen. Watch 9gag it called FRIENDZONED.
    I’m not saying theye can’t be friends. No just that it’s not possible to have a friendship between a guy and a girl, without a moment that one of them (expecially the guy) hase any romantic OR sexual atracted fealings.

    Greets from holland

    Ps didn’t use google translate. So I’m sorry if they’re some grammer fails.

  10. avatar Raymond says:

    you can be just friends but at one point one of them will for one another but it all depends on the other at a good time or a bad time

  11. avatar Chelsie says:

    Fo sho! My best friend is a guy, and there’s no problem like that between us as we’re both asexual.

  12. avatar Cutycat0120 says:

    Of course you can be “just friends” with a guy. I have tons! Even if my best guy friend once asked me out, we’re still best friends, even if things got a little awkward once or twice. I don’t get to see him all that often though, because I switched schools (-forced-) and it is their rival school, but we talk sometimes (in person, cause I can’t talk to him any other way) We’re still really good friends, but he’s like my brother (we’re that close!) cause I don’t really like my brother all that much (we were really close, but we’ve grown apart) but I’ve known my best guy friend since kindergarten and I don’t want anything about us to change, so we’re just friends. :3

  13. avatar PairoDD says:

    Thay CAN, but it is very very rare, in my opinion… My bf had friends he said were “just friends”. Until I learned they were actually past lovers… All had crushes on him… All he kept me from meeting so i wouldn’t find that out…
    NOT a good plan for a friendship…

  14. avatar S says:

    in my opinion it depends on how close u r… im friends with a whole bunch of guys but i only have a crush on my BEST guy friend.

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