How To Deal With Lesbian Rumors

lesbian rumors are so annoying

Friends or more? WHO CARES! | Source: Shutterstock

Mimi was one of my college besties. We were total opposites but we SO “got” each other. I’m a born-wearing-glitter girly girl . She was a so-called “tomboy.” My favorite color is hot pink. Her faves were the blue and white pinstripes on her Yankees cap.

One day Mimi came to me in tears. Some people she didn’t know said that EVERYONE assumed that she was a lesbian or bi. They didn’t ask her out of curiosity; they asked to make fun of her.

Mimi asked me if she should start being more “feminine.” She even slept with a random guy to prove that she wasn’t gay! Mimi turned her life UPSIDE DOWN to squash the rumors. It was ridiculous, and something no girl our guy should have to do.

So, if people are spreading rumors that you’re gay, here’s what to do:

1. Realize that it’s not an insult
Even if that jerk means it as one, being gay is not an insult. It might be incorrect (if you are, in fact straight!) but it’s not bad by any means. It’s just different. So there’s no need to get defensive.

That said, we all want to be acknowledged for who we are. I’m from Queens and I don’t want anyone thinking that I’m from Jersey, even though we ‘tawk’ similar. Hopefully, we all know that just like some peeps are black and some are white; some are Chinese, others Guyanese; some like “Glee” and a few weirdos don’t (kidding!); and that some folks are gay and some aren’t. If you’re not, just say, “Nope, I’m into guys.”

2. Laugh it off.
The best way to deal with verbal bullies is laughter. If someone means to insult you by calling you a lesbian or gay slur, smile your most gorgeous smile and say, “Guess you don’t have much going on in your own life to talk about!” Brush ‘em off like dust and walk away.

2. Talk about it.
If the rumors persist, you really might need to address the problem head-on. Ask them why your sexual orientation matters so much to them, and say that you’re bored of it and need them to stop. We all deserve a positive, safe and hate-free environment. If they won’t knock it off, go to a trusted teacher or administrator at school.

3. Ignore them.
Who cares? How fab must you be if other people spend their free time wondering about Y-O-U!

Keep being your fab self, girl. | Source: Shutterstock

4. Be yourself.
Keep on being your amazing self. Don’t change the way you speak or dress to satisfy anyone. It’s fine not to fit in. Not every girl is into pink. Lots of women hate dresses. Some of us are kick ass athletes. Others are genius level mathletes. Many chicas I know claim all of the above. You are way too YOU to fit into a lame-o box—or to let anyone dull your shine.

5. And so what if you are??
And if you are gay, you’re gay. No biggie. But that doesn’t mean anyone has the right to “out” you without your permission. If someone’s spreading news about your orientation that you’re not okay with, privately call them out on it and explain why you’re not ready to be public with it.

When we ran into each other years later, Mimi was now a proud and out bisexual woman. Good for her. It was just not a personal truth she was able to embrace when she was younger. Maybe she didn’t even know it herself at the time.

Either way, makes no difference to me as a friend. I love and accept her JUST AS SHE IS.

Have you ever had to deal with lesbian rumors about you or a friend of yours? What do you think when you hear rumors like this at school? Tell us in the comments!

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  • TheWolf

    Oh, this rumor recently started about me. The whole “Oh she’s a lesbian” thing. Heard about it from one of my two friends. I’m new to the school, so there’s that whole “new girl” thing where they can just make fun of you all they want for whatever without caring. Probably came because I wear cargo pants and a jacket I got out of the men’s section, and I was hugging the other of my two friends at lunch because some other people were freaking me out with something. It’s honestly actually true, but I’m not going to go out and say that. I just shrug, say “whatever” and if people ask me if it’s true I can just shrug and walk away. They don’t get to come out for me. The thing I want to know is who started the rumor and spread it into the 10th graders. I have suspicions, I know one cheerleader who doesn’t like me and I don’t like her so… yeah. Have fun with my long comment.

  • Eva

    I got bullied a lot this year at school. A bunch of boys and one girl(my frenemy) were all calling me lesbo! At one point, I got so upset that I felt like committing suicide, obviously I didn’t though. All that I can think now is,” what is wrong with u jerks out there?! What is our problem with me being gay? Why do u care so much? And why do u have to bitch on about it all around school?!

  • Ally

    I am actually dealing with people thinking me and my best friend are lesbians.
    It’s not fun but if people are really stupid enough to belive that when we are
    Both so desperate for boyfriends they have to be idiots

    • Anonymous

      They r ?

    • Clint

      People today are more stupid than ever. They will want to believe it just to have a laugh at someones else expense. You can have the party who started the rumours get a letter from an attorney for a formal written apology and retraction or else a libel or slander suit may ensue. Sueing people these days is a must, idiots deserve it.

  • sophia

    me and my sis are practically inseperable. were only 16 months apart, so we look the same age. we went to Florida for a summer vacay. we are at the hotel pool and we met this adorable little girl and were helping here swim. her grandmother came over to meet us and pointed to some little kids across the pool and asked if they were ours! WTF!? 1, im waaayyyy to young to have kids and 2, im nooootttt a lesbian! since then i kind of get the feeling that people think me and my sis are lesnians… it weird.

  • Karrotpulp

    I haven’t gone out with anyone due to many emotional struggles. Everyone thinks I’m a lesbian because I haven’t dated a guy yet. I finally feel that I’m ready to date and I cant cause all the guys think I’m a lesbian. It makes me so mad that these stupid rumors are freaking cock blocking me! I have given up on trying to date in high school and hope I can find someone in college. Only one year left of being alone. :/

  • angex99

    I had moments like that in school , because i dress according to my mood i would have weeks/months full of baggy pants and loose shirts, my best friend is curvy and would look good even in a sack of potatos , so naturally idiots started asking us if we were lesbi .We would always laugh and hug each other and talk about our lack of real men in school , about our children (other classmates) or i’d say something like “sure , i’m gay , i like boys *wink, wink* *nudge,nudge*” . My advice is the best way to annoy people like that is by laughing it off , they lose interest pretty quickly. XD