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Dear Ethan,
I’m in a serious relationship with my best friend. He says that I’m the only girl he thinks about and cares about, but I’ve noticed him checking out other girls. Is it normal for guys to check out other girls even if they’re in a serious relationship? Does this mean he’s going to cheat on me? Why else would he look at them if he didn’t want to be with them? Help!!!!!
Assuming that he is totes into you, it’s still entirely normal for him to check out other girls. Ever since Grog caught a glimpse of Ug in her hot new leopard pelt as she bent over to cook that night’s sabre-tooth tiger steak, men have been, and always will be, visual creatures. And not only are men aroused by images more easily than women are, but we seem to be more sexually driven than women are. It’s a romantic notion to imagine a guy who shields his eyes from anyone but you, but such a guy is about as rare as Bigfoot.
Because it’s so typical, the fact that he looks at other women from time to time does not mean that he will cheat on you. Furthermore, trying to get an otherwise good guy to repress his natural instincts might only push him farther away.
However there is, of course, a fine line between “checking out” and “creepily oggling” other ladies. A quick glance at a bikini-clad babe passing by is one thing, but a prolonged staring session with your best friend is another. The point is that while you should cut his gazing some slack, he should also be showing some respect in your presence, appreciating you for the hot babe you are. If he can’t keep it classy, it’s time for a serious discussion.
Good luck!
Ethan
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!
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Meh, you can look at the menu just don’t order anything off it.
I would be mad that he got caught lookin. If he got a hard on then that will be the worse part.
I believe girls can look n boys can look..just dont get turned on by looking.
gurl, please. hes not a boy, hes gay!
omg YOUR ASKING A GUY THIS!? no no no you dont ask guys this! havnt you ever seen guys in groups goin “mm look at those” or ” id love to tap that!” or even “SCORE!” you dont ask GUYS this
The only time I ever had a problem with a guy checking out other girls was when my now dead ex commented to me about a childhood friend’s chest. Guys will look at other girls just as we girls will comment about other guys. It’s a fact of life. I think we should only take issue if the guy says something along the lines of “Whoa look at the rack on your friend there huh?!” Or he makes comments about girls when he’s walking down the street with you. then no that isn’t acceptable behavior. But Ethan does have a point. As long as a guy looks and doesn’t touch and doesn’t make what are highly inapropriate comments about other women TO you then men should be allowed to look same as women should be allowed to look.
gurl, wtf, hes not a guy, hes gay!
Its hardly sexist. Y’know, because that’s how prehistoric society functioned. Sorry.
I’m sorry, but I think it’s disrespectful, especially if he gets hot if I notice a goodlooking fella.
Don’t feed me the medicine you wouldn’t take.
It may be natural for a man to look but its just as natural for me to walk the hell away from him and go to someone that appreciates and repects my presence.
Yes I know I’m a guy, and this is a girls website, but I don’t care.
You are the definition of OAG. I have a girlfriend, and when I’m with her, I still check out other girls, and I can’t help it. Nor can any other guy in most of the world.
Hell yea that was worded perfect!!
well is it okay for yo thik a guy is hot or secertly lookign pictures of shirtless guys
It goes for both if this guys love u no matter what and love ur insides ten dont worry.
You should be able to look at all the photos of shirtless men you want, Mayuri! Get crazy!
-Ethan
“as she bent over to cook that night’s sabre-tooth tiger steak”… sexist much?
“as she bent over to cook that night’s sabre-tooth tiger steak”……
Ethan, I hope this sexism was unintentional. I seriously hope so.
It was obviously intentional, at least for me. It was funny.
i think its pretty obvious it was intentional. it made me laugh.
Ha, yeah, thanks Brie + Ashley — that line was a joke about gender roles in prehistoric times. Thankfully our society has come a long way since the days of “hunter men” and “gatherer women”… Didn’t mean to offend, Emma — I’ll cook you a steak anytime!
-Ethan