Talking about shopping? Super fun. Talking about what size clothes you really need? Not so much, usually. But let’s do it anyway. Because I’m really annoyed.

See, last week, I went dress shopping. My closet is packed with dresses in a size two that fit perfectly. I have a couple dresses in size zero, but to be honest, most of them take too long to zip up and aren’t practical to, you know, eat anything in (and I really do enjoy eating). So, naturally, I grabbed up everything I liked in a size two and headed for the fitting room, expecting to find something that made me feel ah-may-zing.

Except, something weird happened in the dressing room. Not one of the six dresses I pulled over my head fit. Yes, they all zipped up, and no, I didn’t rip the seams of any of them with my curvy hips. But these dresses that were supposedly my size were falling off of me. They were huge! How could this be? I even checked the labels to make sure I hadn’t gotten the wrong size.

Frustrated, but staying fairly calm, I went back to the racks and grabbed what few things they had in a size zero. But you know what? Those were too big, too! No freaking joke. Size zero was too big. I haven’t lost any weight, nor have I been depriving myself of cookies or giant cheese sandwiches at lunch. I’d definitely never be classified as skin-and-bones so um, what the hell?

Well, here’s what the hell: it’s a thing called vanity sizing and it sucks. Because the average size of an American woman is getting bigger, clothing companies are shifting their sizes to make plus-size women feel better about themselves. So, let’s say you’d typically be a size 14, but then a dress company decides to take the measurements of a size 14 dress and call it a size 12, just to make people feel great about themselves. Presto! You’re now a size 12, not a size 14. Researchers in one study on vanity sizing actually measured the waistband on 1,000 different pairs of “size four” pants. Guess what? They found up to an eight-and-a-half inch difference between the biggest and smallest size fours. That’s huge! “What’s the harm in that if it makes most people feel good?,” you ask? I’ll tell you the harm, and it’s twofold.

First of all, there’s no consistency in sizing anymore, thanks to vanity sizing. How do you know what size to buy when in one shop you’re a size 8, but in another store (one that wants to “make you feel good about yourself” so you’ll buy more), you’re a size 6? It makes it basically impossible to order anything online, and makes trying on clothes in stores super frustrating for everybody–regardless of “what size” you really are. Secondly, by “flattering” bigger ladies, clothing companies are basically telling girls like me who are on the thinner side that we don’t exist. I’m sorry, but last time I checked, Less Than Zero was a book, not what size dress I need to buy.

Now, I understand that if you’re a larger size, it might feel like there aren’t clothes that fit you either–like designers and department stores have ganged up to make you feel invisible. Maybe a couple of you are even reading this article and saying, “Good! Finally the tables are turned! Those skinny b*tches will finally know how it feels!,” but is this really any better? Should any girls or women feel like the size or shape of their body is wrong or not worthy of cute clothes? I don’t think so. So switching the balance isn’t fixing anything.

Besides, vanity sizing really isn’t just a problem that affects girls who are athletic or naturally petite like me. My sister wears plus-size clothing, and vanity sizing not only makes it harder for her to know what size clothes she should buy (when she can find cute stuff in her size to begin with), but it also makes it harder for her to keep track of her weight-loss goals. I mean, a lot of women and girls who are trying to get healthier set their goals in terms of clothing size instead of pounds. Switching up those clothing sizes just to make people “feel good” isn’t helping anybody get healthier, and it’s pissing a lot of people off, too.

We need to go back to an industry-wide standard for sizes. Let’s call a spade a spade (and a size 12 a size 12, for that matter!). If stores really want to make people feel good about themselves when they shop, how about instead of vanity sizing, they try getting more flattering light in their dressing rooms? I bet that’s something women of all shapes and sizes would cheer about!

What do you think of vanity sizing? Have you noticed that you don’t know what size jeans to buy until you try them on? What size do you think you are right now? Tell me in the comments!

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