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Nick Jonas was Miley Cyrus’ first love, and they broke up and got back together quite a few times. | Source
Your first love is magical and often pretty dramatic, and it’s the relationship by which you judge most that come after. And it’s the one you miss the most when it’s gone. Think of Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams–first The Notebook, then real life–and Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas. Romantic and intense! And rollercoaster. Both couples broke up and got back together quite a few times, and now we know why.
If you want an ex back, even after a long time, you’re in good company. A new study says that one in five of us want to reunite with a former flame–and nearly one in four guys want an ex back, too–and they specifically want their first love back. And a lot of people are doing something about it.
About 14 percent of people who want an ex back actually make contact with their first love in an effort to win them over (we guess Kristen Stewart’s in that camp). Here’s what’s interesting: Even if they do want an ex back, women and girls are less likely to actually make the first move to do it. Four in ten of us who do, though, want to seduce the guy. Ow ow!
Of course, Facebook makes it easier to connect with your first love (or your second, third, fourth…), and a lot of us put it to use. In fact, 74 percent of us use FB to link up with (or at least lurk) our exes. Dudes, however, are more likely to use email or texting than social networking to check in on a former love. Why? One expert explains, “Men are more likely to fall into this bracket because they are less monogamous and they have lower emotional intelligence than women.” Basically, dudes are a little dumber and a bit more likely to stray. Great!
The good news amid all of these numbers? If you want an ex back, there’s about 25 percent chance that he wants you back, too–those are pretty good odds! The bad news? Reuniting with your first love usually doesn’t work out the way we hope it will.
If we dated Ryan Gosling back in the day, we’d want an ex back too! | Source
Psychologists say that we have a habit as human beings to rewrite and romanticize history in terms of our first love. As in, we remember the time he brought us flowers when we were sick and conveniently forget that time he grabbed our cousin’s butt on Thanksgiving. One expert put it this way: “These people, particularly men, who pine after their first love are probably doing so because they’re unhappy about something in their current relationship but are afraid to confront it. It is escapism and avoidance and it’s not healthy.” That means when we’re lonely or unsatisfied in a relationship, we tend to look back at our first love and reminisce instead of dealing with whatever our current issue is. Yikes!
So if you want an ex back, make sure that’s really what you want–and that you’re not just scared of flying solo or lying to yourself about how perfect you guys used to be together. Because chances are if a relationship ends, it ends for a reason. Like in Miley’s case, upgrading to Liam Hemsworth.
Do you still reminisce about your first love? Do you want an ex back? How of ten do you think about or hit up your first love? Tell us in the comments!
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He was my summer love- I was 15, it was summer of 2005- We spent the weekends by the lake-holding hands-kissing-etc by the boat docks/fields. He stole my heart, for some reason – I don’t exactly know why but over the winter I left him- for another guy who lived closer to me. Worst decision/ but yet BEST decision on my part. Even though he was nothing but good to me- i realized the distance between us would never work. I still think back to that day and wonder why didn’t I keep going-why didn’t I see how the next summer would turn out- it wasn’t like it wasn’t working out I guess thats what happens when your a ranging hormonal teenager- but I guess at the same time I wanted him to fight for me back and he didn’t and to me that showed me he didnt take us seriously. But i guess with every dark cloud theres a sliver lining- the guy I broke up with him for- is my fiance now- been with him for 7 years and were getting married soon. I still always think about my first love though- I guess its like a childhood memory that will never go away. Sometimes i wonder if he feels the same way- seeing as I still see him EVERY summer- but another part of me says let it go- the past is the past- let him go-like I did so many years ago cause now I got a real future to write.
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I’m 63 and live in the UK. In 1965 I met a wonderful young girl whom I adored, she was 14 and I was 16. We had a great time for the 5 months we were together but , foolishly, I ended the relationship. And although 47 years have elapsed, I still carry a lot of guilt for the unhappiness I caused that beauiful young girl. I am married now to my second wife and everything is fine, but from time to time I still think about my first love. She married, but sadly, and tragically, her husband died in 2010. I contacted her father and asked him if he would extend my sincere condolences to her for her sad loss. She told her father that she remembered me but that, “she didn’t want to bother.” She has suffered enough heartache in her life and I certainly don’t intend to add to it by raking up the past. The guilt I carry in my heart is nothing compared to what she has been through. I wish her well and I hope that one day she will find happiness again in her life.
Greatist 6 months of my life. Just the most pure and inoccent true first love.
On the day marking 6 months she comes to me crying. Having cheated the night before.
Try as i might, her memory is like a wound that seemingly never heels fully.
When you think its finally closed the wrong somg comes on and the wound tears back open. Been 6 years and now, 4 since i thought i moved on and out of no where it over welms me.
Idk what to do. Or if it will ever stop. I cant still love her, so why does it hurt?
I feel like there was zero closure and was ripped apart from her no choice in the matter when i was the person who cheated.
Do i want her back. Seems like it but i feel its the knowing that id been that happy.
And have never felt like i did every day for 6 months to the day. She didnt even relise it was our aniversary. How stupid i felt standing there with a gift ready to get my hart ran over…
It has seriously held me back in my relationships since.!
And changed the coarse of other areas of my life that i feel worked out well but not as well as they could of.
Id give anything to just have lunch with her and talk. Would i actually get closure.
It just feels like it maybe..?
If you are out there reading this.. And you will someday have lunch with me please contact me. You shaped my life and i want to think the last we ever dpoke was on good terms.
Keep my Teddy warm “maria”…
From,
Juan .S. thhs
Greatist 6 months of my life. Just the most pure and inoccent true first love.
On the day marking 6 months she comes to me crying. Having cheated the night before.
Try as i might, her memory is like a wound that seemingly never heels fully.
When you think its finally closed the wrong somg comes on and the wound tears back open. Been 6 years and now, 4 since i thought i moved on and out of no where it over welms me.
Idk what to do. Or if it will ever stop. I cant still love her, so why does it hurt?
I feel like there was zero closure and was ripped apart from her no choice in the matter when i was the person who cheated.
Do i want her back. Seems like it but i feel its the knowing that id been that happy.
And have never felt like i did every day for 6 months to the day. She didnt even relise it was our aniversary. How stupid i felt standing there with a gift ready to get my hart ran over…
It has seriously held me back in my relationships since.!
And changed the coarse of other areas of my life that i feel worked out well but not as well as they could of.
Id give anything to just have lunch with her and talk. Would i actually get closure.
It just feels like it maybe..?
If you are out there reading this.. And you will someday have lunch with me please contact me. You shaped my life and i want to think the last we ever dpoke was on good terms.
Keep my tedy worm “maria”…
From,
Juan .S. thhs
Some of the time I really do miss my ex. In some way our relationship was doomed from the very beginning. Seeing that I was 14 and he was 18 when we first started dating. Everything was good when we lived in the same neighborhood and my folks worked at night(he would come over when they left). Then when I moved and he became a senior the relationship was off and on(even though the break ups didn’t last long). Everytime he broke up with me I was crying and very sad. Then one day he started saying you need to get rid of your pimples cause it makes you less attractive to me, why is your hair short still, and you need to change things up a bit. I was sad and didn’t feel good about myself. When I talked to one of my best friends she encourage me to break up with him once and for all. I did break up with him, but at the same time I still love him. Though I know he doesn’t love me anymore. I wish he did because if I was 18 I would totally give our relationship one last shot. But he gotta feel the same way in order to make it work.:(
I really do want my ex back…
Oh man do I know this one. I was totally in love with this guy for months before we finally started dating, and when we were together it was the happiest I’d ever been. Then he broke up with me, and I didn’t see it coming, so I was totally crushed. It took me ages to feel happy again. Then, like 10 months after we broke up, he contacted me and asked if I wanted to hang out. We had a lot of fun, went to a movie… and things got interesting. It was just holding hands at first, then snuggling… after the movie we talked for hours and ended up making out after. It looked like things were finally going to turn around… and then stuff came up for him and he couldn’t see me anymore. We didn’t really talk after that. I’m finally over him now, but every once in a while, when I’m feeling lonely, I find myself thinking of him and thinking I wish I could be with him again… only when I REALLY think about it, I realize I really don’t have feelings for him anymore, and I just miss the feeling of happiness I had when I was with him. It’s always important to really think about this kind of thing before you decide to send him/her a message, because there’s a good chance you don’t actually want to get back with them. You just want that feeling you had. If you broke up, and things didn’t work out, it was probably for a good reason. Being lonely can stink, but it’s better than being with the wrong person.