Ask A Guy: My Crush’s Friends Don’t Like Me. Will This Change How He Sees Me?

i have a bad reputation

If his friends don’t like you, does that mean he won’t? | Source: ShutterStock

Dear Ethan,

I’ve liked a certain guy for a while now and I know he likes me too. But his BFFs hate me because I rejected them in the past and they’ve heard negative comments about me. Do you think that the opinions and comments his friends have towards me affect the way he feels towards me? Note: His friends make a lot of offensive and false statements about me… a lot.

As you probably know from dealing with your own pals, sometimes a friend’s insight can give you that extra boost of confidence you need to flirt with a cute boy – or convince you to pass on the one who, apparently, secretly collects belly-button lint. But there are a few factors that will determine how much a guy’s friends will actually influence his romantic decisions.

For one thing, how close are these “friends” of his? He’ll be much more likely to take the claims of legit, lifelong BFFs seriously than those of some randos in his English class merely vying for his attention.

Even if he is tight with them, a decent dude will dismiss those negative comments his friends have only “heard” about you as meaningless gossip. And assuming that you weren’t a total jerk to his friends when rejecting them (e.g. “Hey Chicken Legs – get some calf implants and talk to me then!”), he should be able to distinguish bitter trash-talk from legitimate allegations.

Finally, his reaction will depend on what, exactly, he’s hearing. Are his friends telling him that you’re “cold” or “difficult” because of stuff they’ve actually witnessed? He’ll have an easier time ignoring judgments about your personal or sexual history — most of us don’t care about that stuff as much.

Ultimately, if he’s the type of guy you want to date in the first place, he’ll be smart enough to form his own opinions after giving you a chance himself. The best you can do is make it clear that you’re into him – or even ask him out – and hope that he’s a gentleman!

Good luck!

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of For more on Ethan, visit…or call his mom, Robin.

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