Partying Just Isn’t My Thing

Fine, I’ll admit it: I’m a bit of a prude hang. But there are reasons for that.

I’ve never smoked anything. I don’t smoke in part because I have really sensitive eyes (which I didn’t know until recently–we’ll get to that in a minute) and mild sports-related asthma that I’d rather not worsen, but mostly for other reasons. Getting super wasted on ANYTHING seems pointless. It’s expensive (I’d rather spend my money on dessert and shoes) and I really hate the smell of both cigarettes and weed. I also pretty much don’t sleep around, like, at all. Keep in mind, what other people do is their business and doesn’t bother me–until it affects me directly.

What’s unfortunate is that a lot of people who don’t know me that well assume, for whatever reason, that I’m down for whatever at any and all times. Maybe it’s the people I hang out with–some can be considered somewhat shady characters, though I think they’re good people. Maybe it’s my voice, which trails off into what some may consider a stereotypical stoner cadence, or my boobs, which some people interpret as making me easy (because that makes sense). What these people don’t realize is that I accept people as they are, I’ve always kind of sounded like Fran Drescher on Xanax, and I have to be really smitten with someone just to make out with him.

That said, the fact that I’m essentially a nun compared to a lot of people I know, still takes some people by surprise. Case in point: Mike (name has been changed to protect the douchey).

I met Mike through a mutual pal and thought he was super cute–he was really tall, with a gloriously handsome face and awesome thick, wavy hair. He was also hilarious and whip smart. Pretty much, if you took away the “tall,” it seemed like I met the male version of myself. Ahem. Anyway, I was crushing pretty hard, and we got to know each other better at a party one night when we spent the entire thing together just talking and laughing for hours. By then I was crushing even harder–and he finally asked me out. Schwing!

Fast forward to our, uh, date. The show we were going to wound up getting cancelled, so we decided to grab takeout and watch a movie at his apartment. (Dumb move, I know, but the promise of a specific horror flick and wonton soup made it seem a little more legitimate.) This would have been cool, except for a few things.

We stopped at a bar on the way to his place for him to meet up with a pal to pick something up. I’d been picturing a laptop or something, but no. Mike stopped to buy weed. I figured, whatever, it’s his life–not my business. We moved along and got back to his place, which was tiny–and it was rainy and chilly, so the windows were closed. Fine.

We hung out for a bit, and despite my warning him not to get more than his hopes up because I’m pretty prude, Mike tried getting handsy. When I moved away from him, he got frustrated. Really not cute.

Mike proceeded to scowl and smoke up, which, again, is his business–and we were on his property, so I wasn’t about to tell him not to. Not my place, right?

partying isnt my thing

This made me sick–and mad. | Source: Shutterstock

Maybe, but I should have spoken up regardless. The scent of weed has never been my favorite to begin with and has always gotten me a little nauseous for some reason, but this was way worse than any other secondhand smoke I’d ever been subjected to. This was an enclosed, tiny space–and he was smoking skunk weed, which smells exactly how it sounds. Why would anyone want that?! What’s more, my eyes got really itchy, which was bad news bears. My contact lenses were starting to get dry from all the smoke, and I still had to drive home.

It became increasingly clear that Mike was kind of a scumbag–not because of his smoking, but because of his inability to tolerate the word “no” and his total lack of empathy for my reaction to his weed smoke. So I left and headed home, still gagging from the smell. My eyes began burning, so I put in a few rewetting drops and hoped for the best. I went to bed feeling a little gross, but figured it’d pass.

Wrong. When I woke up the next day, I couldn’t open my eyes all the way, and they burned so badly that I felt like someone poured industrial strength shampoo into my poor peepers. I had to call out of work because, well, how was I going to get there if I was pretty much blind? I then had to call my BFF to drive me to my eye doctor, who had to give me prescription drops–apparently all the smoke had aggravated my contacts so much that they actually scratched my eyes up miserably.

So, yeah. Sue me for not being “down to party” or whatever. I’d really rather just grab a pint of ice cream, hang out with cute dogs or go to the movies with friends. At least doing those things won’t land me in the doctor’s office. Oof.

What do you think about partying? Do you have friends who party more than you think they should? Tell me in the comments!

This Girl Never Got High In High School

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  • prencess

    exactly, happy go lucky.

  • Stephanie

    i’m a lot like this girl. i don’t smoke weed (even though a lot of other people do) i don’t drink at all (i did have one sip of wine, and a sip of beer once. both were completely nasty btw) and i’m still a virgin. yep. probably one of the only seniors at my high school who is still a virgin. but that’s my choice. i don’t mind other people who drink, smoke, or have a lot of sex. it doesn’t make them a bad person. as long as they don’t pressure me to do that stuff too, i don’t really care. i just don’t feel like i need to get high or drink in order to have fun. and i’ll lose my virginity to the guy i fall in love with. so far, that has not happened yet, so i’m still waiting. but yea, this is just my opinion.

  • LittleRedWolf

    I know what you mean. While I do drink on occasion (and yes I am 21), I never get really wasted. I don’t like going to raves, clubs, etc. I have nothing against weed, just haven’t smoked it myself, and I hate cigs, they smell terrible, and just the smoke makes me feel like crap. Not to mention they’re terrible for you… Not wanting to party and do things like that isn’t bad, as long as you don’t judge others for living that lifestyle, and it sounds like you don’t.

  • jess

    i like weed 🙂

  • Kate

    just because you dont want to smoke weed doesent make you a prude, it makes you smart.

    • LittleRedWolf

      I don’t think she called herself a prude JUST because of the weed, but for the other reasons as well (such as not wanting to get physical right away, not wanting to drink anything, etc). And there is nothing wrong with that, of course. I will say, however, that smoking weed isn’t a big deal. I don’t smoke it myself, but it’s been proven that it’s not bad for you (obviously the smoke causing the problem with the contacts has to be taken into account, but that’s a unique, personal case). I’m not saying we should all go out and smoke pot, but it isn’t like if you do smoke, you’re being dumb. (just like drinking though, still gotta be responsible with it)

  • Lauran

    Wow. I feel like you feel highly of yourself and are in denial so youre going through the whole “im trying to look like an open person when i really not” phase.

  • leyla

    oooh that sounds really painful

    • Nicollas

      HiI hope that you do not listen to the porsen who s saying that it s ok to smoke and that it is not dangerous. Smoking weed is a terrible habit and you have all the right to be concerned about your boyfriend. I have smoked weed for many years every day and i can honestly tell you that it has damaged my ability to focus, remember and even read things. Now, i have to read something like 100 times before i can fully understand it. not to mention all the money i have spent on this damn drug. I really hope that you can get your guy to stop before is does him any further harm. Good luck to you!

    • Lucas

      I am going through the same thing and it is kinlilg me :[ I try to make my boyfriend stop but he won’t and honestly there is nothing we can do. You can’t force someone to stop something they want. You would think if someone cared enough for you they’d stop, but i learned they won’t. Best i can say is try to cope with it. Try to set limits like say he can smoke only once a month, thats what i have to do with my boyfriend. I’m sorry girl, i know how it feels but stay strong.

  • Diana

    I’m the exact same way. I think they are more productive things I could be doing with my time. I don’t drink, smoke or party. Of course people judge me and think I’m “lame” or “letting society trick me into thinking drugs are bad” uh no I just have no interest and have my own personal reasons as to why I don’t involve myself with those things besides just really not ever being curious.